Malefactor

MALEFACTOR, n. The chief factor in the progress of the human race.

2006 Update: An obstruction to our conspiracies. Greed, interrupted.

From the Wednesday Guest Rehabillitation Department: Our friend, Dorene Lorenz has published a book now available through Amazon. You can learn about it here. Assume no connection between the word of the day and this announcement.

Vituperation

VITUPERATION, n. Satire, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.

2006 Update: The howling and scolding and prophesy of divine wrath unleashed by the good yoeman against a nearby squirrel upon payment of taxes or the receipt of new law.

Today's word is co-sponsored by TLP Psychiatry. "In your time of greatest need, one thin dime is all you'll cede. You're ugly, too."

Special Guest Wednesday

This week, in the spirit of coopetition, I'm glad to have O Ceallaigh as my Wednesday Guest.

O Ceallaigh was asked to define Hyperthermia.

HYPERTHERMIA, n. 1. A word meaning “sunstroke”, used socially to label persons with million-dollar indebtedness from medical schools and separate them from persons with million-dollar indebtedness from other causes.

2. The impossible dream of the Maine resident in January. There’s a reason why the entire population of the “The Way Life Should Be” state could be transported to Miami, or Phoenix, or Los Angeles, and disappear without trace.

3. Jenna Howard’s avatar. See BRAGGADOCIO.

Hyperthermia! Get yourself to bed,
With cooling fans, and packs upon your head;
An icy drink, and shelter from the sun
That hangs in the sky – or perhaps the one
That’s bling bling blinging on the television screen,
Or blooming, artful blooming from the magazine
For which you drained the plastic sunshine
From your wallet; used e-cash to line
The pockets of American Idol’s marketers,
Or the nip and tucking, breast enhancing shysters
Who declare that what you have is perfect rot,
They and only they define what’s hot.

But perhaps unwitting wisdom’s on that screen;
For when you wish too close upon a star,
The wax will melt, and the feathers fling
From your arms while you fall flailing, long and far.

Kristen G. Nugget

About O Ceallaigh: O Ceallaigh, my soul brother, has several sites one of which is The New Millennium Devils Dictionary, which updates Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary with modern definitions. Just to make a distinction, the format is different from this site's: where here the exercise is to update Bierce's definitions, on O Ceallaigh's site the work is more fully original and modern, emphasizing, although not exclusively, words which weren't current in Bierce's time. I both enjoy and admire O Ceallaigh's approach and the wit behind his definitions. The Preface and Introduction to that site are worth reading as well, please note the disclaimer "All wrongs deplored." In addition to The New Millennium Devil's Dictionary, O Ceallaigh writes other material including The Killer Dialogues of Dude and Dude, Observations (essays, poetry and stories,) and essays on Science, Belief and Society. All of this can be accessed from O Ceallaigh's home blog, O Ceallaigh's Felloffatruck Productions.

O Ceallaigh is a biologist who specializes in single-celled marine organisms with an emphasis on measuring the effects of global warming. We can all be thankful that global warming is now measurable enough that O Ceallaigh has time to write for our entertainment. It's a special kind of arrangement to be both a satirist and scientist, studying the most threatening results of the matters he satirizes. O Ceallaigh was kind enough to share at the lay level some of the work he does and it's very interesting, looking at developments between and among types of marine protozoans in general with an eye toward understanding the systemic effects of environmental change. By the way, y'all, the avatar is a Neoparamoeba, which O Ceallaigh informs us "kills salmon and lobsters. Maine fishermen don’t have to go to the movies to fear The Blob.” For more on his professional career, you can see his lab's website here.

How to be a future guest on this site: Well folks, it's happened again. I'm fresh out of guests so some of you who may have been thinking about might find this a good time to shake off your doubts, straighten your backs and just write me a short note saying you've changed and you're ready to face whatever this beautiful world has to offer. Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

Actonbell, you're excused on account of you may as well be. Unless you wanted to surprise me. *sigh*

Overcharge

OVERCHARGE, v. To ask a higher price than you can get.

2006 Update: To charge.

Fiend

FIEND, n, A being whose existence is invaluable to the newspaper reporters, to whom, however, it is but just to admit that they commonly censure and deplore his way of life. To the "Fiend in human shape" they exhibit a particular animosity, insensible, it would seem, to the compliment implied by his assumption of the "form divine." Their condemnation of the "fire-fiend" is notably tempered by a certain lurid enthusiasm, and the "lunch-fiend" suffers only such disfavor as is provoked by his competition.

2006 Update: A criminal of unspeakable evil and unobservable malfeasance.

Belated Happy Birthday to my nephew, His Royal Highness, the Archfiend Jacob Stephen Pascover, from Ungagugie. At least I was on-time to your party.

And RABBIT, RABBIT!

The Ice Queen

#42, Aw, who am I kidding?

To hear The Ice Queen, approach her hiding place.












To read The Ice Queen, click on Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, who must be spinning in his grave about now.

This week in The Prattler, "Alloyed Praise for George W." and a political cartoon depicting Grover Cleveland.

Sacred

SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as, the Dalai Lama of Thibet; the Moogum of M'bwango; the temple of Apes in Ceylon; the Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt; the Mufti of Moosh; the hair of the dog that bit Noah, etc.

All things are either sacred or profane.
The former to ecclesiasts bring gain;
The latter to the devil appertain.
—Dumbo Omohundro

2006 Update: Beyond reproach as a popular president or a drunken poet.

Usage

USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence for this Holy Triad an industrious writer may hope to produce books that will live as long as the fashion.

2006 Update: The function for which a word or object was misdesigned. Uselessness.

Special Guest Wednesday

This week, I'm proud to introduce Star Firstbaseman who was asked to define Dance Card.

DANCE CARD, n. 1. Mine is full. Thanks, though.
2. A booklet in which a lady inscribes the partners with whom she will dance each successive dance with at a formal ball.
3. Booklet with a decorative cover and cord, to be attached at the wrist.
4. Colloquism for "Plan so spend some time with [requestor].

About Star Firstbaseman: Welcome to Star Firstbaseman, the new kid. Her site, Somebody Take Me Home dates all the way back to March, 2006. The first thing you'll notice about Star is she's really, really funny. Actually, based on her self-description, my previous comment probably only applies to meeting her on-line but I still give the Waking Ambrose seal of really funny. Since starting her site a month ago tomorrow, she's written a lot that's funny and a little that's sad and nothing dull. For anyone who watched daytime television before blogging, I think her dating life and the saga of K will be a fine substitute.

Star Firstbaseman comes to us through Kyahgirl, friend of many. She's in her mid-twenties, does government work by day and plays kickball to be productive. She lives where she lives to accomodate her dog, bless her. On her site you'll read about clothes, wholesome habits, other habits, her crazy housemate, a nutty hallmate, family and friends. I look forward to seeing how the new blog develops. Thanks to Star Firstbaseman and thanks for a fine guest appearance.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

Dotage

DOTAGE, n. Imbecility from age, commonly manifested in loquacity. (This word was originally ANECDOTAGE, but those of whom it is the characteristic virtue have not time to speak the entire word; they are too busy talking.)

2006 Update: The rise of wisdom from opinion, waitress over lover and indulgence beyond resentment.

Do-over: The age at which self-awareness surpasses vanity and loses the audience.

Happy Birthday to Ariel and Cowgirl!