Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Mouth

Mouth, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

2005 Update: A conduit for the blessings of poetry, food and bile.

28 comments:

GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

Mouth, n. A venomous, sloshing Sarlac Pit, wherein the internal is externalized, and dead animals--minced and roasted--are consumed

)+(.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Mouth,n. Natural opening used for good, i.e. to agree with me, or evil, i.e. to disagree with me.

Mouth,vt. To utter bombastically, see platitude .

revidescent said...

Men have souls? Uh oh!

Brb...

Tom & Icy said...

Ottoman for the fool.

Doug said...

Mmmm. Dead animals minced and roasted! Thanks, Gabriel!

I agree, TLP.

Yes, Revi, apostates call it "stomach." I like the picture, by the way.

Tom, that's smart.

actonbell said...

mouth: where George W. Bush keeps at least one of his feet at all times.

Sar said...

"In man, the gateway to the soul..."

Reminds me of a fortune I once found in a stale cookie that read:

Birds are entangled by their feet and men by their toungues.

(Nicely done Actonbell!)

dddragon said...

Mouth, n. In dddragon's case, the thing that is often used before the brain is engaged. Source of amusement to those around when "up your hose with a rubber nose" or "on the sperm of the moment" is uttered. Misuse of is frequently blamed on not being able to see around the eye teeth.

Doug said...

Actonbell, which mouth?

That's funny, Sar. I'm living proof.

Dddragon, "Got his tongue caught around his eye teeth and can't see what he's saying" is one of my favorite phrases of all time. What makes it especially good is everytime I try to use it, it comes out wrong รก la Dddragon.

Goa'uld said...

Mouth, n. the usual entrance that a Tok'ra symbiote uses to get into the body of the host.

Minka said...

mouth, n. The host for a muscular organ that allows to taste, lick or otherwise engage in rather wet adventures.

AP3 said...

Mouth -- the surname of Ralph on Happy Days?

Doug said...

Goa'uld, I did not know that. I'm studyin' real hard, tho'

Monika! Young lady, this is a family blog! I suppose your sister's engagement pushed you right over that line, huh? You left out poking.

Well, yes, Aral as a matter of fact. I think the orifice was named after that character. Donny Most, right?

Minka said...

Doug, I did make nothing obvious. It is your imagination that harms this family blog ;)

LeesahEm. said...

mouth-whether open or closed, often the reason for most arguments

Doug said...

It always is, Monika.

Masil, that's why I'm learning to speak through my nose.

A Little Bar of Soap said...

Exodus 4:11 And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord?
Exodus 4:12 Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.

Doug said...

And in all things that I have said unto you be circumspect: and make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth. -Exodus 23:13

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Too much religion here today.

MOUTH,N. That which holds a long ,slithery, rather ugly and often forked moving piece of muscle which prevents it being the gateway to anything especially the soul.

Jamie Dawn said...

Mouth: my current enemy (along with high caloric food)
I'm hoping to undergo a temporary mouthectomy. Know any good doctors?

karma said...

automatically closes (and e'er so often) to the stimulii, 'Shut Up!'

Doug said...

Alice, you're an old soul. Kind of a funny one, though.

Jamie Dawn, if I knew a good mouthectomist I'd be well.

Rarely in my case, Karma.

Anonymous said...

Multimedia I/O portal

Doug said...

Good one, anonymous.

Comfort Addict said...

The true arbiter of good taste.

Doug said...

And the source of bad taste?

Indeterminacy said...

1) An instrument used to make suggestions of action that you would not perform yourself, in the hopes that someone somewhere will hear it and pick up on it.

2) An instrument used to deny that the suggestions meant what they sounded like.

Doug said...

A muscle for moving the bones of others?