Thursday, August 18, 2005

Pessimism

Pessimism, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.

2005 Update: The product of faith in one's clairvoyance, hope for one's neighbors and the charity of including oneself in the damnation imagined.

31 comments:

dddragon said...

"I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will." Clint Eastwood

This is funny, because when it looks like it's going to rain, I take a raincoat or umbrella ... knowing that doing so will keep it from raining.

Is this optimism, pessimism, or just superstition?

Goa'uld said...

Pessimism: the talent of truly believing everything will turn out badly, no matter how many times everything goes according to plan.

Anonymous said...

Optimism with a generous dash of experience.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Well done Goa'uld. To that I would add: One who has the insight to realize that everyone is as mean-spirited as oneself, and the wisdom to hate them because of it.

AP3 said...

In honor of TLP's blog entry today: pissimism, n., A tendency to believe that one will always be pissed on by life.

Minka said...

I don´t believe in pessimism either. It never does anything good for you and is purely unnecessary and doesn´t help anyone. It is so stupid that it exists and so unhelpful and it has never done anybody any good. I sincerely hate peesimism and hope it will die soon. I myself have never been pessimistic about anything but pessimism ;)

Doug said...

Dddragon, sounds like science to me. Letting people stick tubes in you so you can get a good nights rest is optimism.

Great definition, Goa'uld. How many times is that?

Anonymous, nice!

Haha, TLP

Funny, APPP. I haven't read the new post but I think I may have helped inspire it.

Semisweet1 said...

Pessimism: the optimism of failure.

Tom & Icy said...

It seems some people hate themselves so much they begin hating everyone and everything around them.

Semisweet1 said...

This definition has brought out the cynic in lots of Ambrosians. Kinda makes the garden variety pessimist feel optimistic about his comparative pessimism.

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Pessimism: knowing that things are, unfortunately, most always what they seem no matter how horrifc and ugly.

Doug said...

Ah, Monika, everyone's getting so pessimistic. It never ends. Never. (by the way, I was pretty sure which camp you fell in.)

Semisweet, that's a good definition. Describes every farmer that ever planted a seed. I like Ambrosian, too. It can be said really dryly.

Bad girl, Icy!

Alice, that's the kind of jaundice I love. It's funny that your eyes are so sharp and your portrait so blurry.

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Jamie Dawn said...

Optimists see the glass half full. Pessimists don't even know what a glass is. They drink from toilets.

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

As someone who always sees the glass as half full, pessimism is somewhat foreign to me.

Anger, on the other hand, is a different issue.

I love those dog pictures.

Doug said...

Anonymous, a new definition of pessimist: n. Someone who expects spammers to enter heaven.

Jamie Dawn, I live with two optimists who drink out of toilets. Here's a one for you: Pessimist, n. Someone who crashes parties they were invited to.

Barbara, speaking of the other hand, I have friends with the symbol you're using now on their wall. Can you tell me about it? Looks like Hebrew in the palm.

Jawn Lam said...

Pessimism: Liberal elitists' preferred flavor of Kool-Aid

Sar said...

In relation to a previous phrase of mine, "sometimes you're the bird and sometimes your the windshield"...

Pessimism ensures a strong return on wiper fluid stock.

And I felt compelled to include this as well:

Pessimism
Antonym - optomism
Synonym - gloomy outlook
Example - Bush administration

Doug said...

Jawn, welcome back and thanks for the ray of sunshine.

Sar, I'm not sure which I'd rather be. When I think of the bird I think of being hit by the car and when I think windshield I think of getting dumped on. Guess that's the measure of a pessimist, huh?

weirsdo said...

I expect it doesn't matter what I say because no one will pay attention to my definition anyway.

GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

Ahh...I return from an evening of hyperlink hell. (But I' sure you'll all have fun). Anyway...

Pessimism, n. Dehabilitating epistemological disorder, characterized by fits of precognative cynicism.

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actonbell said...

Wow. Precognative cynicism. Took me a beat, but I get it! That's really good, and I'm not following Gabriel. Optomism sometimes seems like overconfidence, so I guess I'm a pessimist. My inflatable children would definitely not be funny on an electrical wire, btw. They'll cause a fire, and I will be arrested for arson.

a4g said...

Pessimism, n. A thick hide protecting the shatteredglasshopes of the closet optimist.

Doug said...

Weirsdo, good definition.

Gabriel, so is that like a chicken?

Actonbell, there's not much current in a phoneline. Hope for the best.

a4g, I think my pessimism is purer than that. I have to believe it's real.

LeesahEm. said...

pessimism-looking life in the eye and getting poked.

karma said...

the downside is, an upside-down smile

Doug said...

Masil, that might be optimism these days.

Karma, bless you for the cynical optimist you are.

Indeterminacy said...

My definition is even worse than Mrs. Weirsdo's.

Doug said...

Indie, isn't it always like that?

The Gnat's Trumpet said...

The religion of the self-described realist.

Doug said...

Gnat, that's a great definition. *bow*