Monday, August 22, 2005

Senator

Senator, n. The fortunate bidder in an auction of votes.

20005 Update: 1. n. A legislative aide to the Executive Branch.
2. n (barely.) A diasporic chieftan who guides the party by announcing whether the course followed seems to have been clockwise or counterclockwise.

35 comments:

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Senator,n., from the original form: nothing is contemptible.
A person in possession of a loathsome combination of power and deceit.
singluar form: liar. plural form: liars, three or more: Senate.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Constituent: n 1.person who either can't spell singular or who types poorly.
2. Person who comments before having coffee.

weirsdo said...

Inhabitant of CEOs' pockets.

Anonymous said...

A lawyer with an IQ of 30.

Doug said...

Tan Lucy, thanks for a doubly-good contribution.

Weirsdo, I wonder how you make a warren of pockets.

Anonymous, so you think Senators are that much smarter than regular attorneys?

Anonymous said...

IQ 10 a better estimate?

Doug said...

OK, McCain. It's not like we don't know its you.

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

lol

Senator,n. Whatever it is it is not what it used to be.

actonbell said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
actonbell said...

Senator: The name of Caligula's most illustrious horse, who led the way to a better gov't in Rome. We should be so lucky with our state senators.
(sorry. You ran me to the dictionary over diaspora. I'm still recouperating.)

Tom & Icy said...

slapstick sidekicks with baked adobe for brains

The Alien Guy said...

A governator who leaves the state to govern it.

Jamie Dawn said...

One whose backbone comes as goes without warning. It's baffling, really.

Doug said...

Alice, that is so true. And Actonbell, I rented I, Claudius a couple years back and it gave me the chills.

Congratulations, Tom. I didn't know you were running.

Alien Guy, I see you've acquainted yourself with earthly government.

JD, I think a backbone that comes and goes is no backbone 'tall.

a4g said...

Senator, n. The most august of the people's representatives. Originally chosen by state legislatures, passage of the 17th Amendment in 1913 allowed Senators to be elected directly by campaign contributors.

Sar said...

Senator: I thought that was an elected official charged with representing my views and supporting my rights, but I may be wrong about that.

Minka said...

senator, n. an imaginative political person, that can change his or her convinctions in a blink of an eye

Doug said...

Yeah, a4g, but at least we got the campaign contributors to quit running for the state legislature.

Sar, you may want to check a map.

Monika, got'em over there too, huh? I'd heard such good althings about your government.

Sar said...

Doug - I'm afraid I'm seeing red!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Frequent usage: The Honorable Senator from wherever:
This is called a contradiction in terms. See oxymoron. Further def. for Senator, see Treachery.

karma said...

he looks down on the people that look up to him

AP3 said...

Senataur, n., enemy of Skeletor and HeMan?

Doug said...

Sar, I thought you might.

Tan Lucy, let me guess...Santorum?

Karma, there's a great line in The Gathering Storm, a made-for-HBO movie based on the first book of Churchill's history of WWII that has Churchill saying (approximately:) A cat looks down on you, a dog looks up to you but a pig treats you as a peer." Frankly, I'm a little suprised that a metaphor makes Senators out as cats given the other choices.

Doug said...

I love it, Aral, but you left out the part about carrying off nymphs.

fluttergirl said...

Ah, the closet. I wasn't aware that you moved out from under the desk. I'll have to forward all future bills for you.

Your site looks marv, fantabulous. Indeed!

Senator: n. One who is waiting in line for the money train to pass through town. Usually on the look out for newsworthy events and causes that they can take credit for.

Doug said...

Hey, Revi! You've been to Denmark and Waking Ambrose but have you ever been to you? Thank you for your niceness and your indulgence on the whole change of billing address thing. But, gosh, you make Senators sound so cynical. I need a shower.

Minka said...

Yeah Doug, the althing is really great over here. In fact it is rather similar to America...there are one or two people that rule this country. In all fairness it is not a big country, but that does not excuse the fact that self-important prigs are ruling us!Just sayin' :)

Doug said...

Monika, in a country with two people one would be Senator and immediately forget their constituent.

GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

Senator, n. A functional alcoholic masquerading as a useful idiot.

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weirsdo said...

Doug: To make a pocket warren, one must first skim off some of the money from the pockets to make an entryway. The CEO's help with this by employing "lobbyists."

Doug said...

Gabriel, I really like that turn of phrase.

Oh, Weirsdo, so they're named after the fly?

Comfort Addict said...

A patrician contractor with a term of employment long enough to acquire graft gracefully.

Doug said...

Nice, CA and excellent use of the word Patrician, if I can say so. You know your Latin.

Indeterminacy said...

Don't know if this works, but:

Senator: The president's new yes man.

Doug said...

Works just fin, Indie. It's kind of the same direction as def. 1 above. Only legible.