Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Desert

Desert, n. An extensive and fertile tract of land producing heavy wheat and vintage crops in colonization prospectuses.

2005 Update: A hostile country destroying the hope, ambition and vitality of youth under unrelenting heat, dessication, gambling, golf and old folk.

34 comments:

Sar said...

Desert: Cheesecake & a cappucino. Oh, wait, it's the other one. Must have been a mirage. ;)

Minka said...

I just saw food as well:) Delicious ice-cream with pecan nuts and hot chocolate sauce...
the other desert? Cactus, vipers and a lot of dry sand.

Minka said...

and that is when you got lucky. Apparently Antarctica is also a desert. Try to cross that one!

Tom & Icy said...

Desert - When the spiritual rivers are dammed leaving the thirsty soul damned

Sal Banana said...

Land of opportunity.

Doug said...

Nice, Sar.

Yummy, delicious vipers, Monika. And I might, when I run out of other stories.

Poetry on this site! Good doggie!

You bet, Sal. There's a sucker born every minute and they arrive every thirty seconds in Las Vegas.

Fred said...

Be careful, Doug. I'm one of those who arrives every six months. :)

Sal Banana said...

The desert is also a good place for disposing of people who have disappointed. But I prefer the East River.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Desert,v.t.
To abandon without regard to the welfare of the abandoned, hopefully not in the desert.

Doug said...

Fred, I know. I've read the outcome.

Sal, nothing like a boat ride.

TLP, look up Bierce's definition of Desertion or wait for it here. You'll love it.

pia said...

Desert: when I think of going to one I break out in a sweat because it's not next to an ocean

Okay I know that's not a definition but it's the best I can do

Miz BoheMia said...

Desert- makes me feel thirsty and in dire need of taking a shower. The thought of sand reminds me of the beach which in turn reminds me of sand all over me, getting into everything and hence the need to shower to get it all off. I really hate sand! Seriously hate it...

Desert- Verb describing an action Miz BoheMia should take with regards to this comment.

Desert- Noun which provokes a malfunction in bohemians resulting in incessant rambling. Please forgive the inconvenience...

Jamie Dawn said...

Desert: Where I'd like to banish Blogger for not working correctly these past two days.

Desert: What I will do to Blogger if this trouble continues. So there!

Dessert: What I need now to calm my anger towards Blogger. Anything chocolate will do.

Miz BoheMia said...

Ooooh! A lot of these comments are too fattening!

Doug said...

Pia, more than good enough.

Miz Bohemia, cowards cut and run, Persian Danish Icelanders never do.

Nice, Jamie Dawn. There's a hershey bar in my pocket.

mireille said...

D, I just deleted the most rude comment about the Hershey bar in your pocket. You should be proud of me. xoxo

Doug said...

I am, Mireille, and glad it was you. I didn't realize how much room for double entendre there was in that comment.

Sorry, J.D., I wasn't trying to be any cruder than a melted chocolate gag.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Doug, you're lucky that it was Mireille who was next in line here. Some people would not have such good control of themselves.

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

desert:
Where Trump goes after destroying NYC.

Sreekesh Menon said...

one of the liveliest place on earth if you are willing to see.

Jamie Dawn said...

Believe it or not, I've been known to eat more than a few melted candy bars in my life. When you want chocolate badly enough, you're more than willing to lick it off the wrapper.
I'd kill for a S'more right now!

a4g said...

Desert, n. A type of jungle, which has the peculiar property of appearing lifeless when viewed through a windshield.

Doug said...

Go ahead, TLP. I can take it.

Haha, Alice. I thought that was an open sea with his fellow pirates. Nice that the man has options.

You're absolutely right, Sreekesh. I'm a big fan of the desert and if someone thinks it's lifeless just wait'll they get bit.

No problem believing that, Jamie Dawn. I wish you s'more.


Nice use of perspective, a4g. See my comment to Sreekesh. Of course, it's easier to find a spot for your sleeping bag in the desert, but I take your point.

karma said...

what I would cross for you, if you promise to wait with a tiramisu

qhutmtv: quickly in my hut, i want my MTV

Omnipotent Poobah said...

desert (n)-The literal condition of one's mind when one can't think of a play on the word "desert". See writer's block, amnesia, alzheimer's.

AP3 said...

I don't mean to desert you, but I'm too sick to be clever.

GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

Desert, n. The dried dust of death from the weary teats of mother earth.

It's where the sand people live.

)+(

logophile said...

wow, look at all the clever people!

Doug said...

Karma, I'm just waiting to pour the rum in.

Clearly not, Aral.

EEERRRGGGHHHH! SAND PEEEEEPULLL!!! (how's that)

Ariella said...

Oh Doug, you so silly!
We love it.

Doug said...

Ariella, I don't even have to try. Glad you appreciate low humor, although I kind of expect that from a water dog.

~Daydreamer~ said...

Got two words for you Doug.

Mojava desert.

No further explanation ;)

Doug said...

Marwa, I was waiting for that all day.

Mojave, though ;-)

Belinda said...

Yup, I sure thought it was the sweet stuff that you eat after you finish your "diner."