Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Cute Santa. I'm first, I'm first!!Do I get the biggest present Santa?
Merry Christmas Santa! What a good-looking guy you are!!
Merry Christmas! The voice is perfect, Santa:) (Could you tell me where the lady's room is? I promise that whatever you say, I won't try to get you fired).
Santa baby, that means you forgot the batteries, right? ♥ xoxo
Hohoho, Sugarcornpop, ther'll be something extra in your stocking this morning.Why thank you, Dddragon, you're not so bad yourself. I bet you'd make a great stocking stuffer! Hohoho!Hohoho, Actonbell. It's right around the corner and I'm bringing you the newspaper. Merry Christmas!Mireille, double-A, right? Hohoho!
Being cute is no excuse - there's no potty breaks for Santa! ;)Meeeeeeerry Christmas to you, Doug.
And just why am here in blogland on Christmas Day? Because I love you guys!You're sweet to not leave me the coal that I earned! And to think I didn't get you anything. Merry Christmas Doug!
Merry Christmas from one tired Santa to another.
It's a long sleigh ride, Sar. Hohohoho!TLP, The only gift Santa needs is a lotta love. Merry Christmas!You an excellent helper this year, Weirsdo. Next year you could save some energy and avoid the coal by not trying to unionize the elves, though. Merry Christmas!
Dear Mr. "Satire Clause," if that is your real name:Dumping your "North Pole Enterprises" stock on your elves is NOT the same as providing them with a pension plan, and we feel we were within our rights in suggesting that you were doing an "En-ron" around your contractual obligations to them.We were under no necessity to save energy, thanks to the coal you kindly provided.Good luck in unfreezing your assets.
Merry Christmas Satire Santa, I was quite surprised when you showed up on my blog, you are also here...I guess Doug is renting his blog to you for today?! Say hi to him for me, will you!?
Have a woofy woofy Christmas! *crotch sniff* Yeah! You're the real one!
I assume that's your pic Doug, right, dressed as Santa? Ohhh...so cute! :D And isn't that also your voice? :)So dear Santa, what will you bring me cos I haven't seen you in ages? And you better do a good job this year. I've had it :(How did your X-mas go?
Doug,So now that you know the true me, can we keep it a secret. I've got a rep to maintain ya know.Merry Christmas. And we mean it.
Why is Santa lurking so near the men's room? Just askin'.Merry Christmas, Doug!!
Dear Satire Claus, what lurks behind that mass of white hair?It is true good or true evil?I\'m last so I should get something special. I get to pull off the beard right. ;0Merry twenty minutes after Christmas SS.
Merry Christmas, Satire Claus!
To the Weirsdo family, Merry Christmas. All is forgiven.Monika, I'll tell him when I see him. Down, girl!Marwa, the name is Satire Clause, Delighted to meet you. Doug has said many wonderful things about you. Hope you liked your presents.Omnipotent Poobah, you have nothing to fear from Doug. He's forgetful. That's why I keep a list.It's a long sleigh ride, Belinda. Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho.I just am, Alice. You may pull my beard.And to you, AP3. Ho Ho Ho Ho! By the way, the James Brown Christmas album is my favorite.
Merry christmas to you too!
can i sit on your lap, Santa?
Satire,You must have had a busy day with all of the women sitting on your lap and pulling off your beard. You can go into that men's room now and take a rest. You deserve it! Hope you had a good one and thanks for the extra stuffer in my stocking.
that was one impressing "Merry Christams", it made me take my sins in my mind and regret them all...Santa visits a kindergarten, all the children are very happy. he steps to a cute five year old blonde and says, 'If you give me a kiss, I'll give you a candy'. 'And will you give me the entire bag if I go down on you?', the girlie wants to know.
I mistook you for Doug back in my blog... forgive me Satire Clause... I don't want any coal in my stocking!Love the MEEEERRY-ness of your CHRISTMAS!Hope you are getting some rest after this year's deliveries!
Thank you, Shirazi. Welcome back.Good grief, Karma and Sugarcornpop. The ecology at the North Pole is delicate.Ariel, my list shows you've been a good girl all year, apart from Pedophile Santa jokes.Miz B, I could sleep for a year.
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