Friday, December 30, 2005

Distillery

Distillery, n. An institution for the facture and dissemination of the scarlet snout. It is to the distillery, also, that we owe that precious inheritance, the talking teetotaler.

2005 Update: A refinery which once served in opposition to the Church and its promotion of purity. The Church having entered politics, the distillery now has both refinement and purity of spirit to itself. Results can be seen here.

42 comments:

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Distillery, n., A place where all the natural tendencies are removed. All original ideas are expelled, all spirit extracted. Also see elementary school.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Oh, yeah. First. First prize is a bottle of wine, maybe?

dddragon said...

Distrillery: source of revenue in the Hills of Kentucky, Tennessee and other southern states. See Kissing Cousins starring Elvis Presley.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Oh, yeah! There's a link at the word "here." Missed it. How could I? Very appropriate!

Minka said...

This is the perfect oportuniy to remind all of you that:

The consumption of alcohol:

*may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

*is a major factor in dancing like a w@nker.

*may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.

*may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

*may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your clothes.

*may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

*may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose name, and/or species you can't remember).

*is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

*lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home.

*may lead you to believe you are invisible.

*may make you think you possess mystical Kung-Fu powers.

*lead you to believe that people are laughing with you.

*may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

*may actually cause pregnancy.

Minka said...

I know it is such a long list, but New Year´s Eve is just around teh corner and somebody should be looking out for you guys! *she says ever so saintly*

Doug said...

You're dead on, TLP. I coulda been a contenda. Thanks for pointing out the link, my template must have gone funny.

Do I have to, Dddragon? Wait, was Natalie Wood in that one?

Great list, Santa Monika. Can I use it for my resolutions?

karma said...

i'll raise my glass to that

[Monika, now you tell me]

hey i must be under some influence. actually typed the verifier wrong. darn! why do they make it so tough?

lvyxa: when they make you walk in a straight line

pia said...

I tried leaving a comment on Acton Bell's site. The refined click refused to open for me.

A distrillery of ideas has forsken me this morning as I get ready to distill something to help fortify me in my mad plot to take over the world, uh blog world?

Happy New Year! Just so glad there is one thing we can say safely without having consumers of distrillery's throw the contents on me, or worse the contents of their stomachs

Fred said...

Distillery: Acton's home away from home.

dddragon said...

Doug: no, you don't. And no, she wasn't.

Doug said...

Karma, they left that out of Catholic School? No wonder.

Bottom's up, Pia.

Now, Fred.

Dddragon, thanks.

Sar said...

Distillary - The act of having expressed disdain towards a former First Lady and current NY Senator.

Monika - I'm afraid I can relate to more than a few things on your list. Ah, the good old days. *sigh* ;)

Doug - Nice nod to Actonbell.

GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

Distillery, n: Alchemy, as practiced by the Irish.

)+(

Nony Mitchell said...

Distillery - nope...I have got nothing...no wait...

Ditellery - that which the evening news passes through before delivering half truths to its audience. Producing an effect likened to a form of intoxication in which the intoxicated person demonstrates a form of self importance while leaving reality behind.

AP3 said...

What Fred said! actonbell is the most refined drunk I know!

Comfort Addict said...

A place where tremendous concentration is directed toward effecting its opposite.

Doug said...

Nice pun, Sar.

Well done, Gabriel.

Patience, Spiritdancer, that was great.

Now, Aral.

Nice, CA. Chemistry and irony make an unstable mixture. Well done.

Cairo The Boxer said...

Yes I like PiƱa Coladas and getting caught in the rain. woof woof were from Irvine.

kpncooper said...

I can only hope to be so distilled.



Aloha Dear Doug and readers of the the Dawg.

mireille said...

where the mind is greatly concentrated on the bladder ... where the urinal cake is the prevalent perfume ... where those who are afraid they are missing the great adventure go to perch, seek solace and wait for the myopia of last call ... a place where you don't want the lights to come up. xoxo

Doug said...

Santa Clarita, Cairo, the Tulsa of L.A. County.

Ah-ha! I had suspected that either the Alice or the Cooper were pseudonyms! I have my guess. Aloha!

Mireille, that's beautiful in a Tom Waits sort of way.

Day by Day said...

Ahhh... the Jack Daniel Distillery is 30 minutes from my home. Jealous? :)

My high school buds and I would go to the moonshine "distillery" for our "party" supplies. Ahhhh... distillery.

Yes, moonshine still exist in TN... and it is some powerful stuff. I suppose I am really showing how much of a country girl I really am...LOL!

LeesahEm. said...

distillery-getting couples together since fermented grapes became drinkable.

Kay Richardson said...

Distillery? Pah. My internal organs.

Doug said...

Ah, Day-by-day, Lynchburg TN. I remember speaking reverently of it. I used to drive by the exit on I-24 near Murfreesboro and think about it every time.

Yes, Masil! The greatest earthly source of love.

Cheers, Kay

Miz BoheMia said...

I've arrived late into this conversation feeling as though I have fresh come out of a distillery... yes Sar, the good old days... although I could swear my kids must have some magical powers that without touching a drink I am left fulfilling most of the points on Monika's list... oy!

Thay haf gone to bad and I want to set down... *bohemian hiccups and walks away*

Jamie Dawn said...

Distillery: My brother's liver. He has a great affinity for alcohol.

Tom & Icy said...

Life is but a distillery for our body, mind and spirit

Doug said...

Don't forget your chaser, Miz B.

I hope you stocked enough, Jamie Dawn. Happy New Year.

Icy, I can see why you'd feel that way. Remember: the white snow.

karma said...

i am sure the Catholic nuns in my convent school were making hooch on the side. they may have even slipped it into our food. they were evil

cpmxmaw: convent perverts, mostly in your face

Solace Cai said...

Hmm, it appears that most of the *good* comments have already been taken, but I want my 2 cents on this one (considering I go to a church that thinks drinking is a sin. Bah!)Oh, and yes I'm still alive!

Distillery: A source of revenue for most Southern Churches Nascar, and the majority of my family...

Oh, someone made the comment about moonshine still being sold... Go to an ABC store. It's called White Lightning :)

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Sar said...

May I say, *bravo* to Spiritdancer.

And aloha & hello back at you Coop!

Doug said...

Karma, it's kind of a Catholic tradition.

Thanks, Solace, and I'm delighted you still walk among us.

um, ls, thanks?

Sar, you may.

actonbell said...

Good morning. Thanks for the link, and sorry I missed this party!

Distillery-turns coal to diamonds. (Or however that Johnny Cash song went...)

Doug said...

Actonbell, I love that song. You were listening to Air Talk yesterday, too, I take it? I used to have Jon Anderson's recording. Good morning to you, madame.

actonbell said...

I thought you'd catch on to that--wasn't that a bizarre interview?

Doug said...

It sure was. When I went to Australia, I recognized Kinky Friedman in first class (as I walked back to steerage.) When we got to Australia I remember seeing ads for his "Come Home in My Pouch Tour." I remember that Billy Joe Shaver was on the underbill. I remembered all that when he talked about going to Australia with Kinky Friedman after his heart attack. For all I know, the guy we were both listening to yesterday was in the seat next to Kinky and I didn't recognize him.

Oh, it would have been a different tour, though. I went in, I think, '90.

actonbell said...

Wow, a brush with kinkiness:)

Doug said...

Hahahahahaha, Actonbell! I can count them on one hand.

weirsdo said...

Distillery: Antidote to temperance, and other annoyances.