Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Conceit
CONCEIT, n. Self-respect in one whom we dislike.
2006 Update: The faith that tomorrow brings a grander illusion.
94 comments:
Anonymous
said...
I am so clever and so wise and so inventive and so insomniacic and so not humbled by being the very first respondee on W.A. today!
... and puppy, thanks for the concern. the sun is out today, the birds are chirping, and i'm my talented, witty, sharp, intellectual, drop-dead gorgeous self again ;))
Hmph... I am not too happy with the way things are going in this here site. Nope. Not at all! It should be all about me because, bottom line, I am better than all of you put together and nothing, not even the frizziest of all frizzy haired people come close to my frizzy haired charm! NOTHING and NO ONE!!!
Well, yes, it is conceit in the rest of you, 'cause you don't have that much to be proud of. Now, in my case, it's not conceit. I'm special. In fact I've got so much going for me that one of my biggest regrets is that I can't have ME, myself, as a friend.
I wish I could tell you that that were true but alas, it just comes naturally to me! 'Tis the way with this bohemian! I am simply flawless! As for the rest of y'all, I think the word that would be the most fitting would be delusional and so here I am, laughing, LAUGHING I TELL YOU, at your illusions, or should I say delusions, of grandeur when it is obvious that I am the shi... ooops... the shiznits!
CONCEIT, n. Yep, we all got one. 'Cept maybe Shayna's hubby. But the word is reserved for those who sit in the presence of royalty, thinking themselves equals, when the rest of us see only asses.
Doug, thatdefinition of yours. Forgive me, but I couldn't help thinking about "hicks from the Styx. Especially those that pronounce it "cornceit".
Now, you're getting it. And you can't forget the bow. You must always bow in the presence of royalty.
A friend I get to meet next week asked if I was like this in real life. I assured him that I'm much worse. He sighed heavily (I know it) but we all know he worships me. Adores me! Looooooves meeeeee. Because it is me. Me. MEEEEE!!!!
There's a store in the mall that sells tiaras! -stares dreamily- Sparkly tiaras! Is that too much for a first meet? I know I'll fit in at Disneyland. A princess needs her crown. I mean...how else will he recognize me???
How could I possibly get any grander tomorrow? Can you really improve on an ideal?
Ambrose really did do well on this one.
I appear to be incapable of coming up with anything original and no quotes spring to mind. I guess this is the best I can offer, bravado and admiration. Spread thinly, I've heard a little of either goes a long way.
CONCEIT: n. A condition in which a beautiful person thinks he/she is as intelligent as he/she is beautiful, or an extremely intelligent person who thinks he/she is as beautiful as he/she is intelligent. This condition is most prevalent in the U.S. on the West Coast in a small town called Hollywood, and on the East Coast in another small town known as the District of Columbia.
Conceit: n. Unusual metaphor, esp. in poetry. Seen in this description of lovers quite full of themselves: My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears, And true plain hearts do in the faces rest; Where can we find two better hemispheres, Whithout sharp north, without declining west?
Ambrose is genius on this one. It captures what I think of when it comes to conceit: the feeling that this self-love is really self-loathing all compressed and repackaged. Lammy your definition is a very close second.
5/7/5/5 haiku with an extra line is a very cool poetic conceit, Lammy. I was impressed, and if I was impressed, you know it was impressive. Because you know how I am. Although God knows, I've made every attempt to be humble about it. *retch* then brushes teeth before: xoxo because I am nothing if not humble. And hygienic. xoxo
Oooh! You said mental masturbation! How naughty! There is much I could say on the matter but alas, my big brotha would not be too happy! *sigh*
Conceit~ actions restricting the freedom of bohemians (especially one as amazing & talented & flawless & spunky & awesome as me though I consider myself not conceited just perfectly right thank you very much!!!) with the safeguarding of one's own selfish interests in mind!
WHAT is wrong with being naughty I ask! WHAT?
And there you have it... MEOW!
*GASP* JENNA!!! I want a tiara too!!!! Big, sparkly and ooooh so pretty!
Well of course you want a tiara, Miz B. All of my ideas are brilliant. But are you as amazing & talented & flawless & spunky & awesome as I? Pfft. I think NOT! Impossible. I am the one...the only. An original! So fantabulous I could not be duplicated nor replicated. Because I am MEEEEE! And you are not. I'd almost pity you but I don't because there can only be me. One...me!!!!!!!!
thank goodness i'm not so concerned by what anyone else thinks of me that i would allow myself to obsess over such a thing as misspelling a simple word like MASTURBATION. i'm just conceited enough to believe it doesn't matter.
Jenna: your crown is very sweet. maybe someday, when you're all grown up, you'll get to wear a *real* one on your head...like i do.
*GASP* But have you not seen my gorgeous frizzzzed out red hair? That is me as Miz B! Then Catty Yummy Mummy is a glorious and milky blonde! I am double the sizzle and there ain't no fizzle! Fo' sho'!
nntsl~ NoNe Too SexaLicious as yours truly! K-KISH!
You walked into the party Like you were walking onto a yacht Your hat strategically dipped below one eye Your scarf it was apricot You had one eye in the mirror As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner They'd be your partner, and
You're so vain You probably think this song is about you You're so vain I'll bet you think this song is about you Don't you? Don't you?
LOL: Especially cause I meant those as two separate threads - more of a To Do...but then when I read back once posted I realized...ah - I'm going home.
Brother, nothing against a well-nourished hip but chips do not good nourishment make!
As for y'all I am too sweet and pure and all in all amazing to even call myself conceited! Losers are conceited and me, I am beauty and purity of heart, soul and mind personified!
Let's try this for the third time... I hate blogger
LOL... O'Ceallaigh. Yes, my hubby has no bum. My poor son inherited his daddy's bottom. I, on the other hand, have a ghetto butt... so I suppose I make up for where they are lacking in a tush! :)
How did we get on the subject about my hubby's bum anyway??? ;)
There's a whole lot of people suffering tonight from the disease of conceit Whole lot of people struggling tonight from the disease of conceit Comes right down the highway straight down the line Rips into your senses through your body and your mind Nothing about it that's sweet The disease of conceit.
There's a whole lot of hearts breaking tonight from the disease of conceit Whole lot of hearts shaking tonight from the disease of conceit Steps into your room eats into your soul Over your senses you have no control Ain't nothing too discreet about the disease of conceit.
There's a whole lot of people dying tonight from the disease of conceit Whole lot of people crying tonight from the disease of conceit Comes right out of nowhere and you're down for the count From the outside world the pressure will mount Turn you into a piece of meat The disease of conceit.
Conceit is the disease that the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it but what it is they're still not sure
There's a whole lot of people in trouble tonight from the disease of conceit Whole lot of people seeing double tonight from the disease of conceit Give you delusions of grandeur and evil eye Give you the idea that you're too good to die Then they bury you from your head to your feet From the disease of conceit.
by God, G, you've earned your place in that spotlight... having been denied the opportunity to bask fully in it yesterday. there'll be plenty of time to stick that lampshade back on your head, my pretty... but not yet.
what? i don't get to tell people what to do here, either? are you sure? cuz i thought i did a fabulous job filling in for ya yeste... huh? oh. heh heh. my bad. (you're on your own, G... i'm done here)
Sure is, Actonbell. Did you see Anomie-Atlanta's? Who planted her?
OK, lookit, TLP and Logo, I'm working on it. I slept past 4, does that mean the world's gotta end? CONCEIT, n. Thinking people just sit around waiting for you to post and expecting them to forgive you for tardiness.
Doug, if I am conscious at 4 AM, there better be a nice cuppa tea and a good word to define, my demands are small. It happens only twice a year, is it really so much to ask? :p Yer forgiven... don't let it happen again.
94 comments:
I am so clever and so wise and so inventive and so insomniacic and so not humbled by being the very first respondee on W.A. today!
mama, it's a well-known fact you're second to none
fsvunlz: first, savvy and vivacious unless sleeping
... and puppy, thanks for the concern. the sun is out today, the birds are chirping, and i'm my talented, witty, sharp, intellectual, drop-dead gorgeous self again ;))
Hmph... I am not too happy with the way things are going in this here site. Nope. Not at all! It should be all about me because, bottom line, I am better than all of you put together and nothing, not even the frizziest of all frizzy haired people come close to my frizzy haired charm! NOTHING and NO ONE!!!
So, how's that for conceit?
Well, yes, it is conceit in the rest of you, 'cause you don't have that much to be proud of. Now, in my case, it's not conceit. I'm special. In fact I've got so much going for me that one of my biggest regrets is that I can't have ME, myself, as a friend.
Wow, Mama, good morning!
Karma, you left out "prophetic"
No fair, hermana, you've been practicing!
TLP, you should buy a hand puppet.
Me, myself & I - what it's really all about.
I wish I could tell you that that were true but alas, it just comes naturally to me! 'Tis the way with this bohemian! I am simply flawless! As for the rest of y'all, I think the word that would be the most fitting would be delusional and so here I am, laughing, LAUGHING I TELL YOU, at your illusions, or should I say delusions, of grandeur when it is obvious that I am the shi... ooops... the shiznits!
FUNKIFIED!
There is no you...you are MY illusion.
It's a person with their head stuck where the sun don't shine but thinks he has to wear sunglasses
Using a mirror bent for lying
The racehorse with blinders that thinks it's first.
Enough about me, what did *you* think of my guest letter day?
One of the paintbrushes used to paint over reality.
Jenna, you're overcomplicating things.
Miz B, we know and yet your conceits undervalue you.
Joel, keep dreaming big.
Haha, Lammy, it is bright there.
Icy, good dog! A rose-colored mirror.
Another good example, Dusty. At least that horse didn't put the blinders on him/her-self.
G is for glorious, G.
Mistress Anna, the amazing thing is that they make brushes bigger than the canvas.
So, O Ceallaigh, the kingdom has no clothes? Where is this kingdom.
CONCEIT, n. Yep, we all got one. 'Cept maybe Shayna's hubby. But the word is reserved for those who sit in the presence of royalty, thinking themselves equals, when the rest of us see only asses.
Doug, thatdefinition of yours. Forgive me, but I couldn't help thinking about "hicks from the Styx. Especially those that pronounce it "cornceit".
[see if I can actually type this time]
:)
Pardon me...it's Princess Jenna. Get it right.
yeah good one!!!
I tried to comment earlier but there are so many swelled up heads here, I couldn't get in the door!!!
I think Bierce's definition today is a thing of beauty Doug.
Princess Little Blue Pill, maybe?
Brian, are you sure you're not?
Thanks, Jodes!
Kyahgirl, that's why he's the man.
shhh Doug, don't want Ambrose to get conceited!!
Conceit with deceit
The congenial curmudgeon
Oh so bitter-sweet
Tons of cunning fun
Now, you're getting it. And you can't forget the bow. You must always bow in the presence of royalty.
A friend I get to meet next week asked if I was like this in real life. I assured him that I'm much worse. He sighed heavily (I know it) but we all know he worships me. Adores me! Looooooves meeeeee. Because it is me. Me. MEEEEE!!!!
There's a store in the mall that sells tiaras! -stares dreamily- Sparkly tiaras! Is that too much for a first meet? I know I'll fit in at Disneyland. A princess needs her crown. I mean...how else will he recognize me???
How could I possibly get any grander tomorrow? Can you really improve on an ideal?
Ambrose really did do well on this one.
I appear to be incapable of coming up with anything original and no quotes spring to mind.
I guess this is the best I can offer, bravado and admiration. Spread thinly, I've heard a little of either goes a long way.
ahh, the agony of conceit.
blogger is lowering my opinion of myself by the minute...shall we see if this gets through?
word veri ejxtsob: eject you SOB
Now that bloggere loves me again
conceit -- the face in front of Dorian Grey's Picture
CONCEIT: n. A condition in which a beautiful person thinks he/she is as intelligent as he/she is beautiful, or an extremely intelligent person who thinks he/she is as beautiful as he/she is intelligent. This condition is most prevalent in the U.S. on the West Coast in a small town called Hollywood, and on the East Coast in another small town known as the District of Columbia.
Conceit: n. Unusual metaphor, esp. in poetry.
Seen in this description of lovers quite full of themselves:
My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,
And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;
Where can we find two better hemispheres,
Whithout sharp north, without declining west?
Ambrose is genius on this one. It captures what I think of when it comes to conceit: the feeling that this self-love is really self-loathing all compressed and repackaged.
Lammy your definition is a very close second.
Oh, and for you literary minded folk out there
I say Picture, you say Portrait
5/7/5/5 haiku with an extra line is a very cool poetic conceit, Lammy. I was impressed, and if I was impressed, you know it was impressive. Because you know how I am. Although God knows, I've made every attempt to be humble about it. *retch* then brushes teeth before: xoxo because I am nothing if not humble. And hygienic. xoxo
Conceit: emotional self-love, mental mastubation.
"Nature abhors a vacuum. When a head lacks brains, nature fills it with conceit.” ~ Unknown
and, yes, i *can* do better than this. i know it. you know it. the American people know it. (i just don't want to...)
Oooh! You said mental masturbation! How naughty! There is much I could say on the matter but alas, my big brotha would not be too happy! *sigh*
Conceit~ actions restricting the freedom of bohemians (especially one as amazing & talented & flawless & spunky & awesome as me though I consider myself not conceited just perfectly right thank you very much!!!) with the safeguarding of one's own selfish interests in mind!
WHAT is wrong with being naughty I ask! WHAT?
And there you have it... MEOW!
*GASP* JENNA!!! I want a tiara too!!!! Big, sparkly and ooooh so pretty!
Well of course you want a tiara, Miz B. All of my ideas are brilliant. But are you as amazing & talented & flawless & spunky & awesome as I? Pfft. I think NOT! Impossible. I am the one...the only. An original! So fantabulous I could not be duplicated nor replicated. Because I am MEEEEE! And you are not. I'd almost pity you but I don't because there can only be me. One...me!!!!!!!!
thank goodness i'm not so concerned by what anyone else thinks of me that i would allow myself to obsess over such a thing as misspelling a simple word like MASTURBATION. i'm just conceited enough to believe it doesn't matter.
Jenna: your crown is very sweet. maybe someday, when you're all grown up, you'll get to wear a *real* one on your head...like i do.
oybnr: robyn. nice name.
Jenna, ready? Cause this'll hurt!
Here goes..
But I am YOUNGER!
Ouch - and the defining low blow is delivered!
She "pfffft-ed" me!
Yes but I LOOK younger.
The ref acknowledge MizB...ooh, but Jenna counters with a right hook!
*GASP* But have you not seen my gorgeous frizzzzed out red hair? That is me as Miz B! Then Catty Yummy Mummy is a glorious and milky blonde! I am double the sizzle and there ain't no fizzle! Fo' sho'!
nntsl~ NoNe Too SexaLicious as yours truly! K-KISH!
OOOh! There is refin' going on? MEOW!
doug: I hear you're a man of faith.
Conceit: arrogance of youth
Then again, you're a canine. Man's most faithful friend.
Primates are the object of a Darwinian faith. What's that make me?
Jake: my first thought was "That makes you a monkey's uncle".
K-kish all you want, Yummy Mummy, I'm still all that AND a bag of chips
Chips go straight to the hips! This yoga mama ain't havin' none of that cause I live it all up to perfection, PERFECTION I SAY!
Pssst... as for the age thang? I am timeless! TIMELESS! *sigh* It hurts to be so fabulous!
wduyfbeb~ Why do you yoddle and funk with Miz B when she's a babe? WHY?
Wow...just tuned back in...exciting stuff going here, eh? Such rapier wit and unbridled conceit!
...guess the night shift hasn't shown up yet?
Ah, Brian. It makes more sense this way. Somehow more flattering too.
Kyahgirl, I suspect right now he's probably editing the Devil's incantations.
Wow, thanks, Lammy. Will you read that at my funeral?
Jenna, tiara or no the friend is in for a treat.
Logo, don't sell yourself short.
Yay, G!
V.I. I'm pretty sure Dorian Gray never wore "protection" in the portrait.
Jake, was it Diogenes who said "The wise man knows he's ugly?"
I know, Mr. Donne! On an island?!?
I agree, Mutha, and I find it amazing that Lammy is wise for a young girl.
Mireille, I feel cleaner just reading your comments.
Puppybrose, that's a terrific quote. You're too good already.
Miz B, because satire is a greater heresy than profanity. That's why. And because I hope to warp young minds inconspicuously.
Jenna, you sure have taken to this word. It must be special to you.
Haha, Puppybrose, to do well is better than to spell perfectly.
Meow, Hermana la gata!
G, glad it's you in the ring with them.
rrrrrrrearrr, Jenna!
Miz B, Jenna, I'm going to let Puppytoes referee and G judge. I'll carry the round numbers.
Yes, Jake. How can I help you my son?
Youth itself, Puppy.
Jake, it makes you a God to the faithless and an illusion to believers. Congratulations.
Jenna, Miz B, round 3. By the way, Miz B, there ain't a thing wrong with a well-nourished hip. Just my opinion.
Joel, I never know which words will wax the moon. Shoulda guessed at this one, though.
Oh face it, Miz B, you're just jealous you're not me. I am fantabulous!!
Was gonna rule in favor of MizB - then she started talking about my hips...let's go the review tape (do they have those in boxing?).
Doug - might I say heads turned as you strutted into the ring on heels?
G! That brings to mind the Conceit Themesong!
You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
So. Mick Jagger, by definition?
xoxo
Round 3 goes to my new homey - Mireille for being on the MONEY!
DING!
oh Douggg - get in there.
Must hear that song right now!
Jenna, I'll leave that for the ref.
Nice of you to say, G. My feet are killing me.
Mireille, how did I not see that coming? As soon as I read "the CONCEIT themesong" I knew where you would go.
G, If you think I'm going to sing Carly Simon to you, you've taken today's topic way too far.
Mick J. sang the background vocal on that (uncredited).
several candidates for the "conceit" title. with the smart money on Elliott Gould. but Carly's not telling.
LOL: Especially cause I meant those as two separate threads - more of a To Do...but then when I read back once posted I realized...ah - I'm going home.
Speaking of conceited - humph!
Not Warren Beatty?
O Ceallaigh and G, what are you talking about? I'm pretty sure that song is about me.
Dontcha!
Claim it if you wish, Doug. I ain't wearing an apricot scarf for nothin'.
G, of course I do.
I forgot, O Ceallaigh. Unbleached hemp ascots for you, right?
Conceit: Thinking Doug will recognize me right away and email me the answer :-)
I'm not scaring you, am I, Doug? *insert evil laughter*
Brother, nothing against a well-nourished hip but chips do not good nourishment make!
As for y'all I am too sweet and pure and all in all amazing to even call myself conceited! Losers are conceited and me, I am beauty and purity of heart, soul and mind personified!
Jenna, there, there, sure you are! *wink, wink*
frgionv~ Frog ions are vain!
Ooooh! That settles it! I was #69! Dawgy my dear, profanity seems to pull me in whereas satire well... we'll leave that with the puppies.
69! *sigh*
pdsauce~ Paid Sauce!
I am. Y'know it. So fantabulous I have an author day. You?
Okay author 2 hours.
Oooh a battle royale between Doug & the amoeba. But they got nothin' on you and me, Yummy Mummy! We're the cat's meow!
Well, Sophisticated Writer/Princess, what's the question? I recognized you before you posted.
Miz B, if it's good to ya it's good for ya.
Jenna, he took my propellor and I'm supposed to just live with it?
Actonbell, I guessed the author and it was pretty easy from there.
He took your propellor? Well...of all the conceited things. Fetch it back. Harrumph. Steal your propellor.
Let's try this for the third time... I hate blogger
LOL... O'Ceallaigh. Yes, my hubby has no bum. My poor son inherited his daddy's bottom. I, on the other hand, have a ghetto butt... so I suppose I make up for where they are lacking in a tush! :)
How did we get on the subject about my hubby's bum anyway??? ;)
There's a whole lot of people suffering tonight from the disease of conceit
Whole lot of people struggling tonight from the disease of conceit
Comes right down the highway straight down the line
Rips into your senses through your body and your mind
Nothing about it that's sweet
The disease of conceit.
There's a whole lot of hearts breaking tonight from the disease of conceit
Whole lot of hearts shaking tonight from the disease of conceit
Steps into your room eats into your soul
Over your senses you have no control
Ain't nothing too discreet about the disease of conceit.
There's a whole lot of people dying tonight from the disease of conceit
Whole lot of people crying tonight from the disease of conceit
Comes right out of nowhere and you're down for the count
From the outside world the pressure will mount
Turn you into a piece of meat
The disease of conceit.
Conceit is the disease that the doctors got no cure
They've done a lot of research on it but what it is they're still not sure
There's a whole lot of people in trouble tonight from the disease of conceit
Whole lot of people seeing double tonight from the disease of conceit
Give you delusions of grandeur and evil eye
Give you the idea that you're too good to die
Then they bury you from your head to your feet
From the disease of conceit.
By the delicious ~Bob Dylan~
conceit,n. Thinking you are what you write; the truth is you are what you are.
i can't believe you people continued commenting while i was away.
Conceit: delusion of a "blogorama queen", someone who can't believe people would continue to comment on WA when she's not around.
Precisely Puppytoes, precisely.
cooper, why couldn't you just have been first and saved us all the trouble? You're right, somehow, it would not have mattered.
What's that Doug? Right, oh yeah yesterday was my day, um hum. Well, just up unwinding, okay, yeah I know got my own place now...
by God, G, you've earned your place in that spotlight... having been denied the opportunity to bask fully in it yesterday. there'll be plenty of time to stick that lampshade back on your head, my pretty... but not yet.
what? i don't get to tell people what to do here, either? are you sure? cuz i thought i did a fabulous job filling in for ya yeste... huh? oh. heh heh. my bad. (you're on your own, G... i'm done here)
Jenna, he won it fair and square. My only recourse is call him a hippie.
Don't look at me, Shayna. Hubbie's bum has never been the word of the day.
Cooper, phenomenal. Thanks for the reminder I'm not a Pennsylvania gambler or a West Virginia railroad man.
Puppytoes, sometimes you gotta scratch that itch.
G, you have two places now.
Anomie, well done! Where did you come from. I mean, besides Atlanta.
Conceit: Paying yourself a compliment that no one else has yet thought of.
Conceit: Expecting you to get up and post the new word for ME. It's morning TLP time. Is there anyother time?
I'm with TLP on this one.
I am awake at 4:15 and there is not even a word to make it worthwhile?
Ppppppppth
Haha, Indie, Originality.
Sure is, Actonbell. Did you see Anomie-Atlanta's? Who planted her?
OK, lookit, TLP and Logo, I'm working on it. I slept past 4, does that mean the world's gotta end? CONCEIT, n. Thinking people just sit around waiting for you to post and expecting them to forgive you for tardiness.
Doug, if I am conscious at 4 AM, there better be a nice cuppa tea and a good word to define, my demands are small. It happens only twice a year, is it really so much to ask?
:p
Yer forgiven...
don't let it happen again.
word veri-lrvtea
I luuuurve my tea
You are merciful and kind, Logo
and humble, Doug, don't forget humble.
Oh, and gracious, I like that one too, nice air of condescension about it, don't you think?
I am pretty sure I've got nothing further to add to this coneited rambling of people who should know better!
I myself...
why bother?!
Logo, may I never be so cruel as to refuse to condescend to you.
Minka, we're unworthy.
I am glad you did realiye it on your own :)
Worthiness is one of many conceits I've had to shed.
well, while you are at it...:)
Yeah, yeah. Which one is still standing that you'd like to knock down, now?
let#s talk about your plus-list, we#ll be through quicker ;)
By golly, you got teutonic in a hurry! What's it been a week?
Admit it, you missed me too :)
You ar enot all that bad, your bark is quite nice :)
I never confess to what's obvious.
How conceited of me to think myself worthy of 100? Why, you have someone else in mind for this slot?
I didn't think so...
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