Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Monday, July 17, 2006
German
GERMAN, n. A veller dot vas mighty broud (and might flat) to coom vroom Deutschland, don't it?
2006 Update: The language of Ode to Joy, the reformation and smoked ham.
Happy birthday to our missing mädchen, Minka! Alles gut zum geburstag!
54 comments:
Anonymous
said...
i'd love to be teh first to wish our dear Minka Happy Birthday... are we supposed to wait for her? if so... ignore this! otherwise HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINKA!
When I think "German" Ode to Joy is not the first thing that pops into my brain...but thanks for putting it there Doug. The 9th is one thing I like best in this world.
in honor of Minka's Birthday, we've provided a German Instructional Disco Video (hot off the Eastern European Disco Dance Floor)at the Snark Park. what better way to pay homage to teh little Penguin, eh?
When I think of 'German' I think of bratwurst, schnitzel, and my favorite wines. But the best German item of all comes in a black and white suit and goes by the name of Monika!
#2 is soooo not me, Doug, but in honor of Minka's birthday I'm celebrating everything!
When I think of German I think of the pig roast out in Canmore with the German Canadian Club and they're all liquored up on beer and they haul out the accordian. Seriously. The accordians. :::Shudder::: You ever been trapped in a campground with drunk Germans who play polka music and your mom who's tone death decides to sing? :::shudder::: I don't care that it's her birthday too. That woman should not sing...drunk or sober.
when i think of German (besides the fact that i'm part german) i think of what Harvy Korman (Hedley Lamarr) called Madeline Kahn (Lili Von Schtupp) in Blazing Saddles:
Teutonic... what? i wasn't gonna say it. but it *is* what came to mind. then i can't help but think of her singing "I'm so Tiowed". Lili was a fan of schnitzengruben, as well, right? (it's twue, it's twue...)
With very happy birthday wishes for Minka and my deepest apologies I have to share this.
“German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.” Willy Rushton quotes (English Comedian, 1937-1996)
Sehr gut, G! Ich auch so hoffe. (it's suddenly amusing to me that we're butchering Minka's native tongue on her birthday. So be it.)
You bet, Kyahgirl and kochkäse for breakfast. The stuff of life (and many a death arteriosclerosis.)
Joel, I don't know that dance. Maybe you can demonstrate?
Thanks, Squaregirl.
Jenna, sounds like a good time for a good lager.
Puppybrose that's either the silliest good movie or the best silly one, and Madeleine Kahn epitomized.
Logo, I think I'll just thank you for your input. Cussing in German is special as a result.
Genau, Mireille sehr viel.
TLP, and it spread to Iowa. I think in either state you could think the Germans never discovered the automobile.
Cooper, there aren't many things in this world that scare me but I was on the autobahn in a blizzard last February and I'll admit to acute nervousness. 120kph is kind of fast in a blizzard but someone managed it and either survived or flew so far off the road that I never saw the flames.
in this very moment "German" makes me think of that episode Fawlty Towers where Mr. Fawlty are expecting some German guests to his hotel, and is extremely worried that nobody say the word "war" in their presence. I've just seen that and was in pain with laughter.
And you think we are butchering die deutsche Sprache, Doug? Wait 'til you see what Mark Twain did to it. I showed this to Minka one time, and she nearly fell off her perch. (If I've posted this link before, my apologies. Blame it on amoeba no neurons.)
Doug - My source (no not a Romanian anything) just gave you props on your German, so I don't thinka Minka will be too offended which is all I ever aim for.
How about Der Komissar? Dance hit that it was!
Ariel - That is funny! Although I don't know Fawlty Towers it does sound vaguely familiar. Nice new picture.
Happy birthday Minka--wow, great month for birthdays
My German is based on Yiddish, and you don't know what I thought the first time I walked into a German department store and saw "kinder Shmuck." Still makes me laugh
Happy Birthday my dearest Minka! Oooh yes! May you have an eye candy filled day and hey, if you can grabbing and the like is sooo in! Fo sho!
German... synonimous with pretzels with this one Spanish guy I knew back when I was 21. He kept dropping by with his bike and pretzels were his passion and anything German going on in town meant only one thing to him... pretzels.
I took a year of German in high school, but I've forgotten most of what I learned. I taught my brother a few phrases, and we would have fun insulting each other in German: "Du bist dick und fett und gross!" "Du bist ein Hund!" "Du bist varucht!" I don't even know if I spelled the words correctly, but it was fun remembering what we used to do. :-)
German: If all Germans were as wonderful as Minka, then Germany would be the world's super power.
Thanks, Brian. I'm sure Minka will let us know what counts and I bet she'll be liberal about it.
Terry, I know I'm in the mood for a nice polka.
Ariel, that's pretty funny.
O Ceallaigh is that the essay where Twain describes the German emerging on the far shore with his verb in his mouth?
Joel and Jenna, *snap*
Actonbell that sounds like an after-yoga German beverage.
G, not offending Minka is a nice low bar to set. I approve.
Sophisticated, maybe you could wish her a happy birthday in Arabic?
That's funny, Pia. I remember when I first saw the train station in Franfurt there were big signs advertizing "Schmuck" I remember thinking I may as well have been in New York.
Miz B, you just keep on making me smarter.
Jamie Dawn, Ich bin dick, fett, groß, verücht und ein Hünd. Dein punkt?
a4g, at least the Germans have their priorities right.
On the street where I grew up, one of the set of sisters who were part of our core group were (and are) 1st generation Americans of German descent. This was quite exotic to most of us who were at the very least 2nd and 3rd generation Americans. When we would be out playing in the Summertime, their Mom would call them to Essen or Kaffetrinken (not worried about offending any longer) for their 3:00 light meal. They taught us how to count in German sitting on the back of my father's station wagon in the driveway. One of them now lives out in California in Costa Mesa (your neck of the woods?).
I don't understand most of this, and I took German in high school and college. As an engineer the relentless logic of the german language was interesting.
Anyway, Minka, happy birthday.
Miz B, you don't call, you never write - after all i have done for you. Where have you beeeen
how 'bout a little US History just to round things out?
Germantown, PA, where:
George Washington and the capital were located in 1793.
The Battle of Germantown was fought (during the Revolution) up and down the main street, with muskets firing from house windows.
The first American Bible was published.
the first kidnapping in the United States also took place.
The writer Louisa May Alcott was born.
*now*, don't we all feel just a little bit smarter? maybe not O'C and/or VI and/or Kyahgirl and/or Doug smarter, but still... it's good to know our German heritage (those of us who have one) runs deep in the history of this nation.
oh... and the first dog i ever had (when i was a little girl) was a German Shepherd...so, you know... German is a very good word. (did i mention i'm part German? my maiden name is an old/common German name? does anyone care?? yeah... that's what i thought...sigh)
G, Costa Mesa is in Orange County, the Bavaria of Los Angeles.
Dad, I just had an amusing memory of your getting angry and bellowing "Setzen sie sich!" after you went to Germany. You don't whine that way at Jenna.
O Ceallaigh, did you google that or do you, in fact, know everything? I could have sworn I read that in one of his essays.
Weirsdo, if that's you, you're starting to scare me.
Puppybrose I did not know most of that and... ..."Now that I do know it I shall do my best to forget it."-Sherlock Holmes, A Study in Scarlet (sorry, you guys were making me feel stupid.)
i can't speak for your dad, but google and i are old friends. okay, so maybe joel and i lived in PA for 2 years, and i actually know where Germantown is and that it was important to the American Revolution. but the rest... pure Googlery. (a word i justthisminute made up...
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.”
Which Jenna are you referring to, dog? Because I refuse to be adopted. I shall clutch my German Chocolate Cake to bosom, guzzle German ale and pine over your dad. PINE!!!
Yes...an Una is? Hm...a troll. Trolls are grr so very, very grr.
I didn't think I was dumb until I came to this blog. That's all I'm saying. There's a damn good reason why I trollop my way through life. Damn good reason. I may not know what it is...but it's there...
Doug, I keep hearing little birds and use the web search to check out what they say. They tell me there are therapies for this sort of thing.
And begging your pardon, I seem to know about everything but love and money. My charitable foundation wouldn't buy a streetcorner panhandler a bean, and if a girl looks at me at all, the look says "Ewwww". Twain's a poor trade.
It's not I, and I'm not Alexander Sozhenitsyn, either. My quotations spring to mind spontaneously and are usually drawn from my love of witty writers or my years teaching college surveys. While I am at it, here's another Twain/German connection I like. He said, "Wagner's music is much better than it sounds."
Pops, I meant your whining at Miz B. I was scolding you. SCOLDING YOU! (¿Mejor, hermana?)
Puppybrose, you know in my entire lexicographical life, I never coined a word. And that there is a good one. *Applause*
Mireille, it's a creature from Stargate SG-1! Duh! (Ask Dddragon's kids. (Heck, ask Dddragon.)) xoxo
Jenna, I was referring to his daughter. The (presumably) biological one.
Well, O Ceallaigh, here's one to make your heart easier: "A woman's love is like the morning dew. Just as likely to settle on a horse turd as a rose." Larry McMurtry from Leavin' Cheyenne.
Hermana, no tengo la menos ideita. Nuestro padre es, mas o menos, poquito locito. O muy locasso. Pero no te vendo bajo el rio. ¡NUNCA!
Weirsdo, I don't know whether to be relieved for my own sake, but I sure am for yours. That's another great Twain quote.
German: (I'll plagiarize Douglas Adams) - Mostly harmless
German: (quoting Tom Lehrer) Once all the Germans were warlike and mean, but that couldn't happen again. We taught them a lesson in 1918 and they've hardly bothered us since then.
An entire post and comment section all about MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! How appropriate! Seriously though, I am really touched. There were a couple of comments where I thought "Oh wow!" None of them were from you, Doug! :) I am gonna post in a few minutes and tell you all about my birthday. Until then I leave you guys with my heartfelt appreciation! You made this Penguin flutter and they say we can't fly...but you sure are lifting my wings.
54 comments:
i'd love to be teh first to wish our dear Minka Happy Birthday... are we supposed to wait for her? if so... ignore this! otherwise HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINKA!
Happy birthday Minka! Yay! Whoo! I am #2 to wish her best wishes on her day.
What Doug said Minka...Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
When I think "German" Ode to Joy is not the first thing that pops into my brain...but thanks for putting it there Doug. The 9th is one thing I like best in this world.
Happy Birthday Minka!
in honor of Minka's Birthday, we've provided a German Instructional Disco Video (hot off the Eastern European Disco Dance Floor)at the Snark Park. what better way to pay homage to teh little Penguin, eh?
Happy Birthday to my Icelandic sistah from Germany!
May your day be plentiful in sweets and treats, especially eye candy. ;)
German: I'm 3/4 German! I'm pretty certain it's my tummy that's the missing 1/4 because I'm not a fan of sauerkraut and bratworst.
Puppybrose, it's enough that you remembered her. I'm guessing she'll log in if she can but who knows.
Jenna, #2 just doesn't seem you but if you're celebrating, I'm celebrating.
Danke, Joel.
Mutha, the 9th is awfully good roll up your windows music, isn't it?
Puppybrose, that's good of you. I think.
Sar, I just drooled a little. Willie and I love bratwurst.
Here goes: Herzlichen Glueckwunsch zum Geburtstag Minka!
I have it on good word that the celebration of this Grand Day includes an amusement park - I hope so!
When I think of 'German' I think of bratwurst, schnitzel, and my favorite wines. But the best German item of all comes in a black and white suit and goes by the name of Monika!
Happy Birthday to the penguin.
speaking of disco...German is also the name of a dance...and also a party in which the dance is, well, danced.
Happy birthday Minka! Glad you're enjoying yourself, but we're missing ya!
#2 is soooo not me, Doug, but in honor of Minka's birthday I'm celebrating everything!
When I think of German I think of the pig roast out in Canmore with the German Canadian Club and they're all liquored up on beer and they haul out the accordian. Seriously. The accordians. :::Shudder::: You ever been trapped in a campground with drunk Germans who play polka music and your mom who's tone death decides to sing? :::shudder::: I don't care that it's her birthday too. That woman should not sing...drunk or sober.
when i think of German (besides the fact that i'm part german) i think of what Harvy Korman (Hedley Lamarr) called Madeline Kahn (Lili Von Schtupp) in Blazing Saddles:
Teutonic... what? i wasn't gonna say it. but it *is* what came to mind. then i can't help but think of her singing "I'm so Tiowed". Lili was a fan of schnitzengruben, as well, right? (it's twue, it's twue...)
With very happy birthday wishes for Minka and my deepest apologies I have to share this.
“German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.” Willy Rushton quotes (English Comedian, 1937-1996)
Mag sie viel mehr Jahre von Blogposting haben! Auf Englisch. xoxo
Happy birthday to the Ice Queen!
When I think of German, I think of Pennsylvania. Our area was founded by Germans and Pennsylvania "Dutch" is actually Deutsch.
happy birthday Minka.
German - go fast think less - autobahn
Sehr gut, G! Ich auch so hoffe. (it's suddenly amusing to me that we're butchering Minka's native tongue on her birthday. So be it.)
You bet, Kyahgirl and kochkäse for breakfast. The stuff of life (and many a death arteriosclerosis.)
Joel, I don't know that dance. Maybe you can demonstrate?
Thanks, Squaregirl.
Jenna, sounds like a good time for a good lager.
Puppybrose that's either the silliest good movie or the best silly one, and Madeleine Kahn epitomized.
Logo, I think I'll just thank you for your input. Cussing in German is special as a result.
Genau, Mireille sehr viel.
TLP, and it spread to Iowa. I think in either state you could think the Germans never discovered the automobile.
Cooper, there aren't many things in this world that scare me but I was on the autobahn in a blizzard last February and I'll admit to acute nervousness. 120kph is kind of fast in a blizzard but someone managed it and either survived or flew so far off the road that I never saw the flames.
Doug, very nice post today. As for Monika, I shall haul out my oft scorned accordian and play my best birthday polka for her today.
Happy Birthday, Fraeulein!
in this very moment "German" makes me think of that episode Fawlty Towers where Mr. Fawlty are expecting some German guests to his hotel, and is extremely worried that nobody say the word "war" in their presence. I've just seen that and was in pain with laughter.
nbwny: nobody knows why
Happy Birthday to teh Penguin, Burgess M... Oops, sorry, wrong penguin.
:)
And you think we are butchering die deutsche Sprache, Doug? Wait 'til you see what Mark Twain did to it. I showed this to Minka one time, and she nearly fell off her perch. (If I've posted this link before, my apologies. Blame it on amoeba no neurons.)
I keep thinking of German Chocolate Cake.
Mmm...German Chocolate Cake.
Doug - My source (no not a Romanian anything) just gave you props on your German, so I don't thinka Minka will be too offended which is all I ever aim for.
How about Der Komissar? Dance hit that it was!
Ariel - That is funny! Although I don't know Fawlty Towers it does sound vaguely familiar. Nice new picture.
Minka is missing?! 0_0 Happy Birthday Minka anyway. I know no German, is that okay? :P
Happy birthday Minka--wow, great month for birthdays
My German is based on Yiddish, and you don't know what I thought the first time I walked into a German department store and saw "kinder Shmuck." Still makes me laugh
Happy Birthday my dearest Minka! Oooh yes! May you have an eye candy filled day and hey, if you can grabbing and the like is sooo in! Fo sho!
German... synonimous with pretzels with this one Spanish guy I knew back when I was 21. He kept dropping by with his bike and pretzels were his passion and anything German going on in town meant only one thing to him... pretzels.
So yeah... there you have it... german = pretzels
Who knew? Well now y'all do!
I took a year of German in high school, but I've forgotten most of what I learned.
I taught my brother a few phrases, and we would have fun insulting each other in German:
"Du bist dick und fett und gross!"
"Du bist ein Hund!"
"Du bist varucht!"
I don't even know if I spelled the words correctly, but it was fun remembering what we used to do. :-)
German: If all Germans were as wonderful as Minka, then Germany would be the world's super power.
Happy B-day to Minka!!!
Thanks, Brian. I'm sure Minka will let us know what counts and I bet she'll be liberal about it.
Terry, I know I'm in the mood for a nice polka.
Ariel, that's pretty funny.
O Ceallaigh is that the essay where Twain describes the German emerging on the far shore with his verb in his mouth?
Joel and Jenna, *snap*
Actonbell that sounds like an after-yoga German beverage.
G, not offending Minka is a nice low bar to set. I approve.
Sophisticated, maybe you could wish her a happy birthday in Arabic?
That's funny, Pia. I remember when I first saw the train station in Franfurt there were big signs advertizing "Schmuck" I remember thinking I may as well have been in New York.
Miz B, you just keep on making me smarter.
Jamie Dawn, Ich bin dick, fett, groß, verücht und ein Hünd. Dein punkt?
a4g, at least the Germans have their priorities right.
Oh, bother. I keep forgetting to change costumes on my way back from the twins'
Two faced ay?
German:
On the street where I grew up, one of the set of sisters who were part of our core group were (and are) 1st generation Americans of German descent. This was quite exotic to most of us who were at the very least 2nd and 3rd generation Americans. When we would be out playing in the Summertime, their Mom would call them to Essen or Kaffetrinken (not worried about offending any longer) for their 3:00 light meal. They taught us how to count in German sitting on the back of my father's station wagon in the driveway. One of them now lives out in California in Costa Mesa (your neck of the woods?).
Just thought of that.
I don't understand most of this, and I took German in high school and college. As an engineer the relentless logic of the german language was interesting.
Anyway, Minka, happy birthday.
Miz B, you don't call, you never write - after all i have done for you. Where have you beeeen
Doug, the "verb in his mouth" quote was from Twain's A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court.
A Compendium of Mark Twain's Encounters with German.
Let's have some new cliches.
how 'bout a little US History just to round things out?
Germantown, PA, where:
George Washington and the capital were located in 1793.
The Battle of Germantown was fought (during the Revolution) up and down the main street, with muskets firing from house windows.
The first American Bible was published.
the first kidnapping in the United States also took place.
The writer Louisa May Alcott was born.
*now*, don't we all feel just a little bit smarter? maybe not O'C and/or VI and/or Kyahgirl and/or Doug smarter, but still... it's good to know our German heritage (those of us who have one) runs deep in the history of this nation.
oh... and the first dog i ever had (when i was a little girl) was a German Shepherd...so, you know... German is a very good word. (did i mention i'm part German? my maiden name is an old/common German name? does anyone care?? yeah... that's what i thought...sigh)
G, Costa Mesa is in Orange County, the Bavaria of Los Angeles.
Dad, I just had an amusing memory of your getting angry and bellowing "Setzen sie sich!" after you went to Germany. You don't whine that way at Jenna.
O Ceallaigh, did you google that or do you, in fact, know everything? I could have sworn I read that in one of his essays.
Weirsdo, if that's you, you're starting to scare me.
Puppybrose I did not know most of that and...
..."Now that I do know it I shall do my best to forget it."-Sherlock Holmes, A Study in Scarlet (sorry, you guys were making me feel stupid.)
Setzen se sich, sit down" is parenting - not whining. Did I adopt Jenna - Oh, that Jenna
i can't speak for your dad, but google and i are old friends. okay, so maybe joel and i lived in PA for 2 years, and i actually know where Germantown is and that it was important to the American Revolution. but the rest... pure Googlery. (a word i justthisminute made up...
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.”
sorry. but you were making *me* feel stupid!)
What's an "Una"? xoxo
Which Jenna are you referring to, dog? Because I refuse to be adopted. I shall clutch my German Chocolate Cake to bosom, guzzle German ale and pine over your dad. PINE!!!
Yes...an Una is? Hm...a troll. Trolls are grr so very, very grr.
I didn't think I was dumb until I came to this blog. That's all I'm saying. There's a damn good reason why I trollop my way through life. Damn good reason. I may not know what it is...but it's there...
...
...
...
somewhere.
Doug, I keep hearing little birds and use the web search to check out what they say. They tell me there are therapies for this sort of thing.
And begging your pardon, I seem to know about everything but love and money. My charitable foundation wouldn't buy a streetcorner panhandler a bean, and if a girl looks at me at all, the look says "Ewwww". Twain's a poor trade.
I blame it on my brother Doug Dad! I blame it on him! I have sent letters to his addresses figuring he would forward them to you! *GASPETTY GASP*
Dawgy Doug! I have an OCDish reputation to live up to you know! Que esta pasando?
Sorry Dad but it simply is not my fault! Doug did it!
It's not I, and I'm not Alexander Sozhenitsyn, either. My quotations spring to mind spontaneously and are usually drawn from my love of witty writers or my years teaching college surveys.
While I am at it, here's another Twain/German connection I like. He said, "Wagner's music is much better than it sounds."
Pops, I meant your whining at Miz B. I was scolding you. SCOLDING YOU! (¿Mejor, hermana?)
Puppybrose, you know in my entire lexicographical life, I never coined a word. And that there is a good one. *Applause*
Mireille, it's a creature from Stargate SG-1! Duh! (Ask Dddragon's kids. (Heck, ask Dddragon.)) xoxo
Jenna, I was referring to his daughter. The (presumably) biological one.
Well, O Ceallaigh, here's one to make your heart easier: "A woman's love is like the morning dew. Just as likely to settle on a horse turd as a rose." Larry McMurtry from Leavin' Cheyenne.
Hermana, no tengo la menos ideita. Nuestro padre es, mas o menos, poquito locito. O muy locasso. Pero no te vendo bajo el rio. ¡NUNCA!
Weirsdo, I don't know whether to be relieved for my own sake, but I sure am for yours. That's another great Twain quote.
"Wagner's music is much better than it sounds." ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sigh* it's just not the same without minka here.
bet she's having fun without us. good for her. really.
German: (I'll plagiarize Douglas Adams) - Mostly harmless
German: (quoting Tom Lehrer) Once all the Germans were warlike and mean, but that couldn't happen again. We taught them a lesson in 1918 and they've hardly bothered us since then.
Ariel, great new avatar. Although, and don't take this the wrong way, you've aged 20 years in a day. What happened?
Gracious of you, Squaregirl.
Indie, PACIFY, v.t. To provide with distractable engineers.
thank you. 24 years in a day. life can do that to a woman. :-P
An entire post and comment section all about MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
How appropriate!
Seriously though, I am really touched. There were a couple of comments where I thought "Oh wow!" None of them were from you, Doug! :)
I am gonna post in a few minutes and tell you all about my birthday. Until then I leave you guys with my heartfelt appreciation!
You made this Penguin flutter and they say we can't fly...but you sure are lifting my wings.
Ariel, I have no doubt.
Minka, I didn't want you to hit your head. I hope it was grand.
Can someone please inform Pia that Boomerness started in 1944 NOT 1946...I refuse to be classified as a Pre-boomer!
Uncle Mike
Hey, Uncle Mike! You're never to old to plan a wedding, huh?
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