Monday, July 31, 2006

Reason

REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.

2006 Update: The majestic gargoyles, rose windows and flying buttresses adorning the cathedral of lust.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Elijah of The Ozarks

Story #55, A prophetic retrospective.

To hear the story, heed Elijah.












To read the story, follow the signs.

This week in The Prattler, "The Economics of Envy."

Friday, July 28, 2006

Genuine

GENUINE, adj. Real, veritable, as, A genuine counterfeit, Genuine hypocrisy, etc.

2006 Update: Authentic, as may be certified by a friend of a friend or the guy at the bar.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Fatigue

FATIGUE, n. The condition of a philosopher after having considered human wisdom and virtue.

2006 Update: The substance of things intended, the evidence of things undone.

Fatigue

FATIGUE, n. The condition of a philosopher after having considered human wisdom and virtue.

2006 Update: The substance of things intended, the evidence of things undone.

Fatigue

FATIGUE, n. The condition of a philosopher after considering human wisdom and virtue.

2006 Update: The substance of intention and the evidence of things undone.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Special Guest Pterodactyl

This week, my guest is Dddragon. Dddragon was asked to define the åword Harried, after I explained the official meaning and usage.

HARRIED, adj. See pestered, vexed, annoyed and/or overworked. Life of parents of children still living at home, esp. children aged 18 years and younger: driving kids to school, band, Girl Scouts, piano lessons, trombone and trumpet lessons, football games and tournament of band competitions (not to mention championships), the grocery store, my part-time "real" job and my part-time art teaching job, avoiding cleaning the house, volunteering for Band Boosters, church committees, adult Girl Scout committees and functions, thinking up meals and maybe cooking them, making sure that my kids are doing what they're supposed to be doing (yes, I still do that ...), helping one of them earn her 50 hours of practice driving, trying to get the other to at least OPEN the driver's manual, hydrating one cat , fending off the other cat, and yes, getting in some blogging, too. Another form of "harried" is expected when my mother reads this and calls to give me some advice.

About Dddragon: My first ever big sister, Dddragon is the kind of warm and giving person you just can't help but ask to do you a favor. Yes, I actually requested original artwork although I was kind of hoping for a bronze. "3D" is a gifted artist and trained animator, a telephone operator for a catalog sales and crisis hotline, a deputy veterinarian, space zoologist, photogeneologist, art teacher, camp counselor, minivan caravan ferryman and marshmallow fan, friend to the friendless and the popular, mother and daughter to the wry, commentator, educator and a purveyor of girlscout cookies, camp fudge and whatever the school band is selling this year, a karaoke vixen and leading lady about town. Most notably, Dddragon is able to cook an egg in the shell on an open grill. Now that her daughters are international do-gooders, please leave your suggestions for a hobby with which Dddragon can fill the void. There are many truly extraordinary things about Dddragon, her warmth and wit, talent and gifts but the most stunning is that she is the mother of twins instead of triplets. I'd have lost that bet. First born of the Pez girls, Dddragon is married to Nod Donald Duck Pez (check behind the couch.)

Dddragon writes Is Anything Truly Random? which excerpts her diary and serves as the contact point for her many blogging friendships. Presumably she has a hand, or at least an opposable thumb in the blogs authored by her two cats, Chatham and Salem. If there's anything that needs fetching for her daughters' blogs, The Booknook and Chevron 2 I'm guessing she's the fetcher. Dddragon turned down a contract as the No-Doz spokesmodel citing scheduling difficulties. She was previously a guest here last August, going well above and beyond the call with some terrific original artwork, and inspired this story, posted here this past March.

Thanks to Dddragon for agreeing to do a second Guest post (I have no idea how I'm going to explain this to St. Peter,) for doing a terrific job of it, and for being a first-rate big blogsister.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

I will be contacting previous guests who regularly comment here to repeat in no particular order. Previous guests who haven't been much heard from since their guest post should recontact if they would like to repeat.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Reversible

REVERSIBLE, adj. A political platform.

2006 Update: One-dimensional.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Motive

MOTIVE, n. A mental wolf in moral wool.

2006 Update: The first fabrication in a simple explanation.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Northwest Passage

Story #54, A tale of progress.

noluck

To hear the story, hold the tree steady.

paulnbabe

To read the story, check Babe's ears for mites the size of dogs.

And happy birthday, Sunday, to the artist, Mo'a!
And just as notice, I'll be travelling tomorrow and the whole next week so my apologies if posts get erratic.

This week in The Prattler, "Curious Character." Fair warning: more or less a mindless rant against the character of the President by a tired, cranky and past-deadline curmudgeon. Hier stehe Ich, Ich kann nicht anders, so hilf mir Gott.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Damn

DAMN, n. A word formerly much used by the Paphlagonians, the meaning of which is lost. By the learned Dr. Dolabelly Gak it is believed to have been a term of satisfaction, implying the highest possible degree of mental tranquillity. Professor Groke, on the contrary, thinks it expressed an emotion of tumultuous delight, because it so frequently occurs in combination with the word jod or god, meaning "joy." It would be with great diffidence that I should advance an opinion conflicting with that of either of these formidable authorities.

2006 Update: v.t. To admire verbally or despise in silence.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

English

ENGLISH, n. A language so haughty and reserved that few writers succeed in getting on terms of familiarity with it.

2006 Update: The only language appropriate to speak, write or conduct official business in throughout the United States, from California to Florida, Minnesota to Oklahoma, Illinois to Louisiana.

And happy birthday to the beautiful and brilliant twins,Goa'uld and Bookworm (Dddragon's daughters,) and God's blessings on each and every one of you who wasn't born in this long, infernal month.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Special Guest Guru

This week, my first return guest is blogging mentor, long time friend and birthday girl, Pia Savage. Pia was asked to define Boomer. Here is her response:

For the one person who might not know this, our Duke Dawg Doug can be sardonic, or did I mean Satan? Whatever. He would ask me to define Boomer, the word that follows me around like a pit bull who hasn't been fed in days.

BOOMER, n. (slang) 1) people who were born between 1946 and 1964, and believe as our beloved President does that they are morally and physically superior, are immortal, and won't ever become old because old age doesn't fit their needs. They also seem to think that every disease will be cured, innovative housing for older people will be magically made without working for such goals to come true.
2) People who devote arduous amounts of time to talking, in person and on the Internet, about how they had the best childhood in the history of childhood, and will drag out their prized mementos to prove it. This includes 50 year old crusts of pizza as well as Davy Crockett lunch pails that are in the same moldy gross state as the pizza crust. Hey, it was only 35 cents and if you look in the right light you can see Elvis's face.
3) People born after 1964, or who refuse to identify themselves as Boomers, and blame every known and unknown problem on Boomers.

About Pia: Pia was born on this day, between 1946 and 1964. Happy birthday, Pia! Where was I? Oh, right, Pia. Pia was, with Karma, the first of my blogging friends beginning back when my blogging was confined to disability policy. That's a true friend, right there. She is the author/maven of Courting Destiny and an eagerly anticipated book to be written any old day now.

Pia is something of a celebrity in the blogging world. Everyone who has ever used Blog Explosion knows her site with the pink background and the Alberto Vargas artwork and those of us who actually read the sites we've surfed to have been treated to the unique Pia style. Reading Pia is like being a tourist in Manhattan. In each of her posts, the reader meanders via several parallel, engaging tales, a reminder of how many stories there are to tell in the naked city, finally reaching a destination that startles even though you knew you were heading there all along. It's a new style to me, and uniquely Pia's, that makes reading a thrill.

Pia is the first second-time guest on this site, having defined Picaresque back in October. She was also the inspiration for the second fictional story and first celebrity imitation on this site. She co-founded Bring It On!, a left-leaning political site. Although I mentioned this in her previous guest post, I'd feel remiss not mentioning the role Pia has played in the evolution of many weblogs of including this one. As many people as read Pia, there are almost as many blogging or blogging better for her influence. Pia lives in New York City, if you couldn't tell.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

I will be contacting previous guests who regularly comment here to repeat in no particular order. Previous guests who haven't been much heard from since their guest post should recontact if they would like to repeat.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Monday, July 17, 2006

German

GERMAN, n. A veller dot vas mighty broud (and might flat) to coom vroom Deutschland, don't it?

2006 Update: The language of Ode to Joy, the reformation and smoked ham.

Happy birthday to our missing mädchen, Minka! Alles gut zum geburstag!

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Spree

Story #53, in which we find Doug once again hitch-hiking for Pete's sake.

To hear the story, follow the flock.







To read the story, stand your ground.

This week in The Prattler "Keeping An Aye on Treason."

Friday, July 14, 2006

Idiot

IDIOT, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.

2006 Update: An engineer using chopsticks, a physicist on a bike, an economist in a convenience store or a poet with a mike.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Philanthropist

PHILANTHROPIST, n. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

2006 Update: Someone who, having taken an orchard by guile, offers the former tenant applesauce.

Announcement: Bon Voyage and safe travels to Karma. Before leaving Karma left me this link at which individuals can register with CNN and the Indian Broadcasting Network. CNN and IBN has offered to donate 1 Rupee to victims of the Mumbai train disaster for each person who "lights a candle" there.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Special Guest Wednesday

This week, I'm proud to have as my guest, G's sometime lunch companion, Puppytoes. Puppytoes was asked to define Chat.

Needless to say, a word like "chat" conjures up a variety of images/meanings, especially for an ADD girl like me. Naturally, the first thing I did was consult Wikipedia, which was an enormous mistake, as I learned the term can be taken to mean, among other things:
A kind of bird
The waste rocks produced in mining
A Belgian comic strip (Le Chat)
A narcotic plant (Khat)
The way British soldiers referred to delousing in WW1
A Jewish secondary school in Toronto
Slang for a derogatory phrase meaning ‘ugly’ or ‘gross’

Whew! Talk about yer head spin. All that, and not one mention of a childhood favorite, Chatty Cathy. What was a girl to think/do/say? I'll tell you what, she did the only thing she could do, she went with her own definition, based on the way a "chat" strikes her on any given day.

CHAT, n. informal conversation. breezy dialogue. small talk. may be used to set records straight ("I'm going to have a chat with her"), for persuasion ("he chatted them up"), means for defining a busybody and/or gossip ("oooh, she's a chatty one"), and/or intimidation ("let's have a little chat, shall we?"). companion of "chit". see also: blab, gab, prattle, and yak.

2006(ish) update: internet communications occuring in virtual rooms, with virtual partners, where virtual relationships are forged, blossom, and often die tragic virtual deaths, sometimes in the course of an evening. conversational short cut, utilizing annoying abbreviated terms (lol, wtf, btw, etc.) and emoticons as a substitute for eye contact, nuance, and touch.

About Puppytoes: Puppytoes, aka Neva, aka One Hot Puppy writes Puppytoes: It's Good To Be The Puppy, which features photos of cute dogs alongside the wisdom of elightened men of peace such as the buddha and Kurt Vonnegut. Interspersed with her canine successories posts come anecdotes, by which I mean rants. Each of these posts begins with an explanation of why she has nothing to say at the moment and continue through breezy dialogue or intimidation. Reading Neva always feels like bumping into your funniest friend on the sidewalk. Some especially funny of these posts are here, here and here.

Along with Kyahgirl, Puppytoes also founded, Central Snark. The first intentional chat blog I'm aware. Central Snark has been a huge success due to you all having so much that needs saying, but largely also because Neva is a terrific host. One Hot Puppy, as she's known at Central Snark not only comes up with terrific topics but she's a master at prodding and directing conversation. I don't go to parties much, but I bet at one of hers I could have fun or so nearly as to be able to fake it. Beyond the blogs she writes, Neva's a magnificent contributor to the blogs she frequents always adding wit and her playful good nature to every conversation. Puppytoes is wife to our friend, the always funny Joel and mother to approximately two sons.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

Starting after next week, I may be contacting previous guests who regularly comment here to repeat in no particular order. Previous guests who haven't been much heard from since their guest post should recontact if they would like to repeat.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Disenchant

DISENCHANT, v.t. To free the soul from the chains of illusion in order that the lash of truth may draw blood at a greater number of points.
Now Mary Walker disenchants
All eyes that on her figure dwell
Apparelled in a pair of "pants"
That fit not wisely but too well.
But Mrs. St-w, bewitching thing!
Charms most where most her trowsers cling.
2006 Update: To stay for breakfast.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Intimacy

INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
Two Seidlitz powders, one in blue
And one in white, together drew
And having each a pleasant sense
Of t'other powder's excellence,
Forsook their jackets for the snug
Enjoyment of a common mug.
So close their intimacy grew
One paper would have held the two.
To confidences straight they fell,
Less anxious each to hear than tell;
Then each remorsefully confessed
To all the virtues he possessed,
Acknowledging he had them in
So high degree it was a sin.
The more they said, the more they felt
Their spirits with emotion melt,
Till tears of sentiment expressed
Their feelings. Then they effervesced!
So Nature executes her feats
Of wrath on friends and sympathetes
The good old rule who don't apply,
That you are you and I am I.
2006 Update: A nearer perplexion.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Venetian Blind Love

Story #52, A tale of romance.

To hear the story, come to Venice.










To read the story, sing to lovers

This week in The Prattler, "Into All The World."

And, Happy Birthday to G!

Friday, July 07, 2006

Sentiment

SENTIMENT, n. A sickly half-brother of thought.

2006 Update: A property of women that prompted the first men to leave the forest and which calls us now to return.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Conceit

CONCEIT, n. Self-respect in one whom we dislike.

2006 Update: The faith that tomorrow brings a grander illusion.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Special Guest Letter

This week, I'm pleased to have Puppytoes' best friend forever, G, as my guest. G was asked to define Conversion.

CONVERSION, n. 1: a change in nature or form. 2. a change in
direct report 3. trading the Christmas tree lights for the Sukkah
decorations. 4. moment of clarity, see "Coulda had a V8".


About G: G is a former Irish Catholic who became a Romanian Jew and a former working mother who became a blogger. Her blog began six weeks ago with a style already in place featuring well-written, concise anecdotes complete with wit and perspective. If she doesn't answer all your comments it will be for the first time. You can also find her holding court at Central Snark, the conversation site started by Puppytoes and Kyahgirl.

G is a new(ish- they grow up so quickly) blogger and quick friend. She learned about blogs from a newspaper article about our own Pia, and quickly showed up on Courting Destiny with an almost stunned comment about how touched she was by Pia's writing. I left a comment after hers suggesting she stick around and Pia and I soon had a blogging friend without a blog. A remedy wasn't far off and Pia and I were soon back to only having friends with blogs. Simply Said was simply forced into existence. Her site is entertaining, funny, well written and I'll be darned if G didn't start putting up images in record time. G is also a great blogpal and a big part of the fun on this and several other sites. Hopefully her job does itself. G is the mother of Julian and Tali, future mother-in-law of Tianna, salami courier to her in-laws and the wife of a hairdresser. Don't get me started.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

Starting after next week, I may be contacting previous guests who regularly comment here to repeat in no particular order. Previous guests who haven't been much heard from since their guest post should recontact if they would like to repeat.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Revolution

REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. Specifically, in American history, the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch. Revolutions are usually accompanied by a considerable effusion of blood, but are accounted worth it — this appraisement being made by beneficiaries whose blood had not the mischance to be shed. The French revolution is of incalculable value to the Socialist of to-day; when he pulls the string actuating its bones its gestures are inexpressibly terrifying to gory tyrants suspected of fomenting law and order.

2006 Update: Progress, cleansed of criminality with the blood of judges. Counter-restoration.



Happy Independence Day to my American friends and to the rest warmth in your hovels.

Happy Birthday to Square Girl!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Talk

TALK, n. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose.

2006 Update: To interrupt.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

The House

Story #51, A tale of the spirit.

To hear the story, come to meet the lady of the house, as drawn by Gustave Dore.












To read the story, come meet the man of the house as drawn by William Blake.

This week in The Prattler, "Knuckle v. Tongue Dragging







Happy Canada Day to Canadians! You guys are still up there, right?

And Rabbit! Rabbit!