Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, August 06, 2010
Magistrate
MAGISTRATE, n. A judicial officer of limited jurisdiction and unbounded incapacity.
2010 Update: A functionary charged with maintaining peace and good order in a courtroom.
In Texas the magistrate can be a busy and important job.
Magistrates set initial bond (if any) and conditions for release; issue Orders for Emergency Protection; determine probable cause for arrest--if the magistrate is also a licensed attorney; ditto for search warrents; appoint counsel for indigent defendents; may accept guilty pleas and set the case for a proceding before a judge for sentencing; and act as judge of the court if the sitting judge has allowed this.
The following are magistrates according to our Texas Penal Code: Art. 2.09. WHO ARE MAGISTRATES. Each of the following officers is …: The justices of the Supreme Court, the judges of the Court of Criminal Appeals, the justices of the Courts of Appeals, the judges of the District Court, the magistrates appointed by the judges of the district courts the larger counties, the county judges, the judges of the county courts at law, judges of the county criminal courts, the judges of statutory probate courts, the associate judges appointed by the judges of the statutory probate courts, the justices of the peace, and the mayors and recorders and the judges of the municipal courts of incorporated cities or towns. ..
once spent three days..washing and waxing ranger vehicles..received a cig after wash,an oj after wax..the view of yosemite falls was excellent..the federal magistrate returned after three days of fishing..i was then allowed to resume normal camping life
Are the equal rights people looking into this? I mean, unless one is anticipating a romantic encounter along with their three wishes from the Magi, why would it matter whether s/he was straight or not?
Doug, everyone knows that South Carolina magistrates are appointed by the Governor. You really do need to consult The Great Wikipedia on a more frequent basis.
For example, I'm quite sure you had no idea that the HBO series True Blood premiered on Sept. 7, 2008. The show is about Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic bar waitress who falls in love with the vampire, Bill Compton.
13 comments:
Magistrate: If Doug were one there would be order without hostility
Magistrate: replacement for the old Court Jester.
In Texas the magistrate can be a busy and important job.
Magistrates set initial bond (if any) and conditions for release; issue Orders for Emergency Protection; determine probable cause for arrest--if the magistrate is also a licensed attorney; ditto for search warrents; appoint counsel for indigent defendents; may accept guilty pleas and set the case for a proceding before a judge for sentencing; and act as judge of the court if the sitting judge has allowed this.
The following are magistrates according to our Texas Penal Code:
Art. 2.09. WHO ARE MAGISTRATES. Each of the following officers is …:
The justices of the Supreme Court, the judges of the Court of Criminal Appeals, the justices of the Courts of Appeals, the judges of the District Court, the magistrates appointed by the judges of the district courts the larger counties, the county judges, the judges of the county courts at law, judges of the county criminal courts, the judges of statutory probate courts, the associate judges appointed by the judges of the statutory probate courts, the justices of the peace, and the mayors and recorders and the judges of the municipal courts of incorporated cities or towns.
..
In South Carolina, magistrates are appointed to four-year terms by the Governor upon the advice and consent of the Senate.
They serve the county in which they are appointed and exercise county wide jurisdiction.
once spent three days..washing and waxing ranger vehicles..received a cig after wash,an oj after wax..the view of yosemite falls was excellent..the federal magistrate
returned after three days of fishing..i was then allowed to
resume normal camping life
let
other
visions
exsist
MAGISTRATE, n. A wnna be police officer. But someone has to do it :)
The former bossman.
Are the equal rights people looking into this? I mean, unless one is anticipating a romantic encounter along with their three wishes from the Magi, why would it matter whether s/he was straight or not?
Pia, if I were one, I'd bet on hostility without order.
TLP, one of my favorite characters in all fiction is the jester from Ivanhoe. That's sort of a trivia fact but still.
Jim, I'll know whom to talk to next time I'm in Texas. They usually take me there anyway.
Karen, see, I didn't know that.
Bear, I can guess the backstory, but I prefer not to.
You bet, Thom. But I think of the magistrate as more of a stationary bus driver.
And the next, Sauerkraut.
You're half on vacation already, aren't you, Actonbell?
Quilly, it's good puns are made out of rubber because that was a stretch.
Quilly - I had the same thought. Don't let Doug pull your leg.
I like TLPs definition :D
Magistrate:The decapitated vampire from last weeks True Blood episode.
Doug, everyone knows that South Carolina magistrates are appointed by the Governor. You really do need to consult The Great Wikipedia on a more frequent basis.
For example, I'm quite sure you had no idea that the HBO series True Blood premiered on Sept. 7, 2008. The show is about Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic bar waitress who falls in love with the vampire, Bill Compton.
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