Monday, October 30, 2006


GRASSHOPPER, n. An insect with legs like a couple of step-ladders. The Gryllus campestris of Linnaeus; the Yumyum chawfully of Sarah Winnemucca.

2006 Update: An apprentice stereotype.

Happy Birthday to my twin. May your next year be filled with the backsides of bunnies.


TLP said...

First! Oh. My. God.

Grasshopper: A person who refuses to mow.

FelineFrisky said...

I am here, although quite asleep still. Need caffeine! I'll be back! D :}

Anonymous said...

Grasshopper: 60's nickname for a famously co-dependent co-star of "Easy Rider".

TLP said...

Or a person in need of more patience. (according to your twin)

OR, one who transports weed from place to place.

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

Pansi keeps caling me Grashopper but i cant figur out why. but i like haveing a nickname.

Minka said...

I left a similar wish for AP3 on Actonbell´s site :9 Greta minds, ey?

grasshoper, a delicatesse in Belgium

well, I guess anythign tastes good covered in chocolate!

Minka said...

three more things:

a) I am not sure I am getting your update

b) I know there are spelling mistakes in my comments

c) that is no excuse for you to type birthday wrong!

Til hamingju med daginn, AP3! Gangi ther allt i haginn!

G said...

Grasshopper, when you are ready to snatch the template from my hands
You will be ready to start your own blog.

Happy Birthday to AP3.

Sar said...

one who transports weed from place to place lol, TLP.

Grasshoppers are icky. Simple as that.

Sar said...

Uh, don't worry boy from SACADA, you're not icky.


Happy Birthday Aral!!!

Unknown said...

grasshopper: a cool cocktail to have when bar-hopping

Happy Birthday, Douglas' twin!

The Violent Vixen said...

grasshopper: Someone who bums all of their weed off of unsuspecting potheads.

ehh, I guess that's the best definition I've come up with for any word lately...


Anonymous said...

Grasshopper: procrastinating flibbertigibbet and/or slacker

Happy twenty-eighteen, AP3!!

Anonymous said...

Comte's Courtesan said...
An essential part of the biblical diet:
"All flying insects that walk on all fours are to be detestable to you. There are, however, some winged creatures that walk on all fours that you may eat: those that have jointed legs for hopping on the ground. Of these you may eat any kind of locust, katydid, cricket or grasshopper. But all other winged creatures that have four legs you are to detest." - Bible: Leviticus 11

Charlene Amsden said...

Grasshopper -- a sneaky little green cocktail that tastes like a peppermint patty and is very yummy to small unwatched children. It is not so pleasant when making a return appearance because small unwatched child yummied waaaaay too much.

Miz BoheMia said...

Grasshopper... fun collectible item du jour for a certain bohemian back when she was a wee one... made for some shocked faces when the purse of the cute little girl,a purse that matched her dress mind you, was opened only to reveal a mass graveyard of grasshoppers inside although nowadays come not near me grasshoppers... COME NOT NEAR ME!

Grasshopper... polite way of cussing people out, tends to evoke much laughter when combined with a preceding "damn you"...

Allow me to demonstrate...


Makes for some unforgettable stares when shrieked amongst a slew of pink tourists at the local flea market, that much I do know...

And yeah, I did say polite... it is me talking after all!

dddragon said...

Grasshopper: one of many insects to be caught and pinned for the pleasure of biology teachers.

Happy bday to my baby sister AP3 and to her separated-by-mothers- some-days-and-states twin.

Mutha said...

Was it a grasshopper or a cricket in "James and the Giant Peach"? He was my I have to go look it up.
Quilldancer makes me laugh.

Anonymous said...

don't think i don't know how utterly lame my above offering was, because, of course, i do. it's just that i got here late. i was distracted. my brain wasn't working. i was listening to some bizarre music. i couldn't remember what i wanted to say when i started typing. everyone else took my definition. i used up all my good ideas last week, and forgot to re-stock. you can't blame me for these things... it wasn't my fault.

i shall leave you with this quote which i found justthisminute, and which eloquently expresses my real thoughts regarding today's word:

"Grasshopper?" ~ Carlos Pena

(beautiful new avatar, Mutha!)

The amoeba said...

An apprentice stereotype, Doug? Are you referring to Disney's (Oh, the world owes me a living ....) or Solace's? Ah, to be twenty again and be redeemed from all my virtues ...

How 'bout:

GRASSHOPPER, n. An apprentice holocaust.

Happy Birthday, AP3! May you live long enough to reverse the digits and know the true meaning of horror.


mireille said...

A drink involving creme de menthe, or a pie with oreos and green mint glop or ... my relationship with d, as I aspire to a fraction of the curmudgeonly excellence he's attained ... and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AP3!! xoxo

FirstNations said...

grasshopper: a freaky disgusting green ill pie that has unidentifiable chuks of crud in it and everyone says 'oh try it, its good, really !' but then they won't eat theirs. and it it sits there on everyones plate being all green and getting darker and developing a rind and weeps clear liquid.

FelineFrisky said...

My Mom used to LOVE Grasshopper's - The bar mix, not the insect. Creme de Menthe is just as good as Pepto for upset tummies, although not in Quilldancer's case. Poor thing! D :}

Mo'a said...

Inspiration: Chello player in white tie and tails.

Happy Birthday, AP3 :)

Tomorrow is my one year blogger anniversary ;^)

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Aral!

Grasshopper: A light plane developed by the military during WW II. Given the nickname by General Innis Swift who after observing a pilot land one in a field told him "you looked like a damned grasshopper when you landed..." Or so they say.

What can I say...all the good definitions were taken and it's Monday and I'm not feeling too creative...and, I just got back from a trip to the West Coast...what do you expect from me anyway! Sorry for the outburst.

Doug The Una said...

TLP, so it's like a man?

Diane, take the time to enjoy the coffee. We'll be here.

Al, this site has grown long in the tooth waiting for its first Dennis Hopper joke. Thank you.

TLP, AP3's site is actually what put the word in my mind. Regarding the other definition, isn't that illegal?

SACADA, I think it means she wants to fry you in honey. You should let her.

Minka, thanks for the editing assistance. To be honest, I'm not sure I get my update either. Those of us old enough to remember the TV western, Kung Fu go around calling people "grasshoppa" (see Miz B below) in a phony Chinese accent and I liked the idea of an apprentice stereotype. Why that should be a definition for Grasshopper, I can't explain. Since Neva is a John Denver fan, let's just say "some days a diamond, some days a stone."

g, that's what I'm talking about.

Sar, I think you've made us all feel better.

Karma, I've heard of those.

Gotta hand it to you, Solace, you outdid me today.

Puppybrose, I like "twenty-eighteen."

Allahu Akbar and Amen, Anonymous.

Quill, that's funny and takes me back to my first intoxication. That was unwatched whiskey, though. And vodka. And kahlua, I think. Epic. My parents thought I was epileptic.

Of course, hermana. The image of etiquette.

Dddragon, I'd expect you to sympathize with the bugs over the biologists. I expect O Ceallaigh to agree.

Mutha, I remember cricket but it's been awhile. Great new avatar, by the way.

Puppybrose, that's as much as I had.

O Ceallaigh, I was thinking of Kung Fu's.

Mireille, when you can smell vanilla and imagine an shrieking monkey you will be ready.

First Nations, not even Neruda ever wrote so lyrically about nasty food. You may be the great poet of these times.

Feline, I think it's probably both a topical cure and a communicable illness.

I'll be darned, Mo'a. I hope your blog anniversary inspires more excitement in you than her birthday does for AP3.

Joel, I did not know that. I'll trust that you waved flying over my head and you can be sure I waved back.

Mo'a said...

Well, my birthdays always strike fear in blog anniversary "Wow!!!, I never thought I would last this long"

Mutha said...

Back from "James and the Giant Peach" and it IS a Grasshopper!!
Love him. He was the only member of the insect group that didn't secretly frighten me in that story.
Wow..."avatar" didn't know that was what it was called.
She's purty tho...I do agree.

Anonymous said...

Grasshopper... some odd green mint candy my great grandma always had.

Anonymous said...

thanks... i feel better now. as for the whole John Denver "thing"? what can i say... my taste in music -- much like my taste in blogs -- is varied and *unusual*. i make no apologies.

that first definition of mine was from, what i persuaded myself to be, an Aesop my sleeve. and for that, i *am* sorry.

i ate a chocolate covered grasshopper once, and i have to say i hated it. i'm told they're better when the grasshopper's dead, so maybe i'll try one again, sometime. oh, wait. i'm a vegetarian now, so i can't. *darn*.(i did have grasshopper pie once, but i didn't care for that, either. too crunchy)

gmdvka: my first alcoholic drinking experience was with beer, NOT Grandma's vodka.

Anonymous said...

Puppy: Grasshopper is a vegetable, no? In the (ugggh) squash family, I think.

Or, wait, is it the other other white meat?

Anyhow, Ewww! Ewww squared!

Doug: Smart! Very smart! Today's word is the perfect transition to your new "Bierce-Inspired Recipe Tuesdays" posts.

Doug The Una said...

Mo'a, that's what I think on my birthdays.

Right, Mutha, I remember now, I think. Kind of avuncular and a little loopy, right?

CJ, what is it about grandma's and mints? Mine too.

Puppy, I think anything nasty can be considered vegetarian.

Thanks, Al. When the output is meant to bile, it's best not to try the recipes.

G said...

Nor should you make apologies Puppybrose. She's modest that Puppybrose - now hop on over HERE, Grasshopper to see what she refuses to apologize for.

Charlene Amsden said...

Pan-Roasted Grasshoppers

½ kg grasshoppers
juice of 1 lemon
2 cloves garlic, crushed

Preparation: Remove the legs, head, wings and guts of the grasshoppers. Pan-roast the bodies over a high heat for about 10 minutes or until they turn red. Add the lemon juice, salt and garlic and serve immediately.

Notes: Although delicious on their own, grasshoppers can also be served with mashed avocado and tortillas. Chilli can be added to the pan during cooking to make a spicier dish.

Grasshoppers are eaten daily in Mexico but are particularly popular in Oaxaco in the south. They are traditionally collected by dragging a bag along the ground and catching them as they jump.

Grasshoppers are very nutritious, being high in protein and low in fat. They should be cooked thoroughly to avoid eating any parasites.

Anonymous said...

All I got today is...YUCK!!! :(

Anonymous said...

Quilldancer: "Preparation: Remove the legs, head, wings and guts of the grasshoppers. "

1. But, those are the best parts!
2. What's left after that? Nothing? I think I can eat that.
3. The legs, head, wings and guts, folded into cinnamon custard, make a delightful pie filling.

As one who loves the taste of the famously ugly lobster, I suppose I leave myself little room to criticize...

Mutha said...

Hold on, I need to look up "avuncular."

Mutha said...

"like an uncle in kindness or indulgence"
A loopy scholarly but sweet uncle. Kind of like the scarecrow with a little city learnin
(you learn something new all the times talking to the grown-ups around here...maybe someone left one of those yummy mint drinks lying around...))

Anonymous said...

G: you are too too too kind, NBFF! (of course, since you're in that mess with me, i guess you sort of have to be, eh? kind, that is. not to mention shameless in your linkage)

Doug: "vegetarian" you notice, but "Aesop my sleeve" you do not? guess it's too early in the week for bad puns around here, eh, Grasshopper??

Al: i'm right there with you, bub... actually, that's what i was trying to get at when i said the pie was "too crunchy".

join me inside my own head, won't you? because it's a regular laugh riot in here, and, as you may have discerned by now, there's plenty of room for you all!

G said...

While I'm on a roll in my Linkin, Tali may not want me to bring THIS up again, but it was fun. It's from here she co-opted the "parental unit" lingo all caused by a grasshopper.

G said...

Maybe not such a roll... MAYBE MORE OF A HOP

Kyahgirl said...

Happy birthday AP3 :-)

I can only think of really bad grasshoppa jokes in a really bad Chinese accent so I'll stop there.

Hope y'all enjoy your dinner at Quilldancer's house!

robkroese said...

An indecisive pothead.

tsduff said...

When I was a kid, my dad used to stop on the way home from LAX at the import food store and pick up chocolate covered grasshoppers, and ant eggs. The ant eggs turned out to be nothing more than pinola... pine nuts. But as for the chocolate covered grasshoppers - I never did find out anything more about them them - gross. Quilldancer - that is perfectly a horrible receipe.

Doug The Una said...

g, I don't mind if Neva apologizes now and again. I'm sure she did something.

Quill, that was the perfect Waking Ambrose cooking feature. I dub you this site's food columnist. Even if you did once burn steaks. I'm still a little upset about that.

Brian, that's all you need. I'll file that as a one-word poem.

True, Al. What is the lobster but a kelphopper?

Mutha, I'm sure we left several. Help yourself.

Puppybrose, mark it. 3:53 PST. I finally got "Aesop my sleeve." That was too good for the likes of me and its my turn to apologize.

g, I wondered where she learned that. I remember it frmo the coneheads on SNL when I was her age.

Kyah, when you can make stupid ethnic jokes without remorse, then you will be ready.

Good one, Diesel.

Terry, the chocolate covered grasshoppers were just a gag to frighten children. They were actually just cat fingers.

Anonymous said...

Aren't grasshoppers supposed to be good luck? I think they're the cutest of insects, which is feint praise, but still. They hide in the pallets at work and are the first to announce that summer's over. Wait--that's not good luck.

Happy birthday to AP3!! Cheers:)

G said...

The Coneheads - that's exactly where I got that from now that I give it a thought.

Alana said...

Happy Birthday to your twin! So which one of you is the grasshopper? And does that mean today is your birthday as well Doug?

Anonymous said...

Your words dig in under my skin
I try to get at them but I'm faint
I'm tainted,
Lightheaded like animation
All over me
I think I'm gonna make a run for it until I'm safe
With your eyes to the sky
Your grasshopper hands are starting fires
Too sweet you sweet thing
You appeal to my vanity
I'm enthralled, you're like a cheap perfume
You're science you're the modern moon
All over me
I think I better make a run for it until I'm safe
With your eyes to the sky
Your grasshopper hands are starting fires
Along the way
You start them so carefully
I'm starting to think you really got it out for me

Charlene Amsden said...

Doug, are you upset that I charbroiled $50.00 worth of thick-cut t-bone steaks, or are you upset you weren't invited to the meal? You should be happy you weren't the one who had to chip the charcoal away praying for a bit of pink meat inside.

Jamie Dawn said...

I knew exactly who you meant when you said the backside of bunnies. None other than ARAL!!
I hope her b-day was superb and I hope she has visions of fuzzy bunny bottoms in her sleep tonight. :)

I have heard that grasshoppers can be tasty morsels although I have never partaken of that particular pleasure. If they were all crunch and no juice, I might could handle it, but the slightest bit of inard juice would have me heaving and wretching.

Charlene Amsden said...

Jamie Dawn -- fried, they are all crunch and no juice. I don't know about the "tasty morsel" part though -- to me grasshoppers taste a lot like straw and whatever seasoning you put on them. Chocolate ants taste and sound like Nestle Crunch. By the time I got to the tequila worm I was beyond taking notes, however, judging by the condition of my insides the next morning, I don't think it was dead.

Anonymous said...

Grasshopper: the bumbling student

forgive me if someone already said this...I didn't read all of them!

Cie Cheesemeister said...

Food for tiger spiders.
During my childhood in New Mexico, there would always be giant tiger spiders in the summer. My brother and I put grasshoppers into their webs so they would have food for their babies. We were beloved by the tiger spiders, but the grasshoppers still have a vendetta against us.

Cie Cheesemeister said...

Al's comment reminded me of a story that my Latin teacher told us. It will help you stay on your diet because you won't want to eat after hearing it.
My high school Latin teacher was from France. He fought in WWII. He said that at one point they ran out of rations, but there were plenty of grasshoppers. They caught and fried them. He could remember looking into a grasshopper's eyes before eating it. He said that he tried to swallow it whole so as not to have to chew it. Apparently fried grasshoppers are not very good for people, because everyone got quite sick after eating them.
Thanks, Al, for reminding me of that story. Everyone else thanks you too. ;-)

Lila said...

Thanks, Doug. Aw, I think that's the sweetest birthday wish of them all....

Anonymous said...

You're welcome. Ms. Maitre d'Fromage. :-)

Two things:

1. I don't think they planned it, but Doug's "Grasshopper" post and Sar's latest caption contest are gastrically linked. Between them, I've got something, uhh, leaking a little out the corner of my mouth...

2. Thank you for reminding me to avoid eye contact with cows next time I chow down at Wendy's. (I admire vegetarians, envy their integrity, and, like the plague, avoid talking with them over dinner.)

Doug The Una said...

Haha, Actonbell. I agree and that is faint praise.

Sure, g. Goes back a ways.

Square, it doesn't. This is the separated at birth kind of twin. Not even the same year.

Shayna, that's one quirky lyric. Grasshopper hands?

Quilldancer, I'd have been much less upset if you'd charred a fifth grader. T-bone? I wish I were dead.

Jamie Dawn, bless you again for using the phrase "I might could." I remember who I am whenever that phrase leaves my lips. Waking Ambrose, pah! Who am I kidding?

Quill, I'm trying to figure out if you're serious. You wear pelts, don't you?

Cindra, nothing to forgive. Always good to see you.

Cheesemeister, that generation had stories to tell but not many to hear.

Happy Birthday, Alma frater.

Al, it wasn't planned by me. I had no idea this would be a culinary post.

Jamie Dawn said...

I'm glad Quilldancer set me straight about the lack of juice when grasshoppers are fried. I wll give them a try next time I see them on a menu. Hopefully, it wil not be soon. :)