Wednesday, April 25, 2007


Last night I dreamed of an economist.
(Dreams of the middle years are not
The ones the dreams of youth had promised.)

He stood on a cloud and intoned while he glistened
(Had he stood by a camera, behind a microphoned table
The dreamers might have been many and just might have listened.)

"The poor will be with us, both urban and rural,"
(Leaders always quote gospel
Whenever they scold us in first-person plural.)

"And so it is written, let each scholar be wary
For each man to be king and each child a prince
Would be, in my thinking, inflationary."

"On the other hand" he stuttered as I rose to applaud
"My findings aren't final nor my theory complete
I'm still waiting on some hard data from God."

Happy Birthday to Ariel.

Economics, n. The art and science of hedging.


Anonymous said...

I know I can't be first, but uh..if I am.

Happy birthday Ariel. Hope today is your real birthday :)

Doug you are a man of many surprises

Your poem is making me laugh

And yes Doug people always dream about their college major in their early middle years. Of course, every night. And then begin to dream of each school attended

I would have died of dream exhaustion awhile ago if that were true

Anonymous said...

I am sorry, Doug. Economics is a concept beyond my budget - -though I do get the echo part as in, "Any money in there? There? There?"

Anonymous said...

Happy Birtday, Ariel -- here's my plate. Pass me a piece of that cake please -- light on frosting.

Anonymous said...

this was econofantastic! lovelovelove brevity, the point, and, of course, the rhyming scheme. clever, Doug, very clever. *claps*

Pia: "died of dream exhaustion"? damn girl, that's a great phrase.

Happy Happy, Joyeux Joyeux, Ariel!

Minka said...


Minka said...

How was that for economic?


Happy Birthday Ariel. "Djen raschdenja tebja....ljubit Ariel, djen raschdenja tebja!" Is that Hungarian?

G said...

Happy Birthday Ariel! Your photos are divine. Enjoy your day and uh, I'll take a piece of that cake too.

See, G-d's going to come back and tell you that you forgot all about each woman being queen and what about the princesses? And for that matter maybe some of the men wanted to be queens...oh, economics. Sorry.

On the other hand, must be this blog promoting supply side economics.

Very nicely done - by you that is.

Minka said...

Doug, paradoxically funfriggintastic!

economy, no hot towels!

Doug The Una said...

Pia, that was a comment worth coming first. I knew you'd recognize my major in here.

Quilly, that's mostly it.

Thanks, Neva, brevity is the sould of nothing to say.

Very economical, Minka, except for the Hungarian.

G, you have no idea how hard I worked to bring Queens into it. I should have thought of New York.

Thanks, Minka. $4 drinks, too.

The Old Mule said...

Economics: The art of science.

Doug, my hat is off. Great poem. And "...scold us in the first-person plural" had me in stitches.

You give the Pico-econometricians a run for their money with that one.

Save me some cake, Ariel?

Doug The Una said...

Ooops, sorry Mule. I like "Pico-economics." Australopithicean Neokeynesians?

AsianSmiles said...

rrr... 3rd try.. earlier comments got economized.. lemme try again pls..?

a similar fantasy i had. having an island populated by technocrats from japan, bureaucrats from britain, pulitzer/nobel prize winners/ scientists, engineers (*starry-eyed*) best of the bests. then a question popped: "who's gonna wash the dishes?" (*ho-hum* so much for fantasies)

Economy (of scale): an accountant's invisible weapon to get what she wants.

thanks doug, have a great day!

Anonymous said...

In your dream, Doug, are you, like, sitting in your underwear in a classroom full of strangers, having just been told by a teacher you've never seen before that there's an unexpected final exam that day, on a subject you didn't even know you had on your roster until just now, so you've never even been to a single class all year?

I love that dream. Or, is it a memory? What's the difference again?

The Old Mule said...

"a dream is a memory in pajamas"

Woody Allen

TLP said...

Economics: Smoke and mirrors.

Happy birthday to Ariel, if in fact it is your birthday, and if you choose to accept birthday wishes.

Wonderful poem Doug. You really are a star.

Anonymous said...

Interesting dream Doug...what was for dinner last night? Nicely done nonetheless.

Tom & Icy said...

Our dreams in youth are inflationary leaving our elderly dreams in recession and often depression.

Ariel the Thief said...

Doug and people, thank you for all the good wishes! I had a long day and it is really nice to come home and read good wishes. tones of cakes in the fridge, and beer, Bailey's and tequila, I was somehow expecting visitors today. :) forgot the lemon, though, has anybody have some lemons?

Monika, that is not Hungarian but sounds very nice, just a couple glasses and I'll know it by heart. :)

Doug, I good thing your dream have a title or I'd have thought it was about a politician. :)

Anonymous said...

Ariel: hah! now see? i might have thought landscaper.

no lemons, birthday girl... how 'bout some limes?? ; )

Doug The Una said...

Asiansmiles, it always comes down to the dishes, in the end. Do you have any Americans?

It's OK, Al. Oral exam.

Good quote, Mule. Good source, too, except I don't want to consider Woody Allen's pajama memories.

Thanks, TLP. It's all about choosing the right firmament.

Thanks, Joel. I ate one dollar bills for supper, why?

True, Icy. Luckily, in my youth I dreamt of being a ne'er-do-well.

Ariel, I have tried to learn your gift for titling. I hope it was a good birthday. Lemons are my stock-in-trade.

Neva, in truth, I dreamt of landscaping.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Ariel!

Anonymous said...

actually, i meant landscaping... and now i'm laughing as i think of a certain "landscaping" Penguin wielding a rather large machete... (those work on lemons and/or budgets, too, as you well know...)

chop chop! ; )

Lila said...

Happy birthday, Ariel! Nicely written Doug. I'm with actonbell... I keep thinking of reading Freakonomics.

Jamie Dawn said...

Happy B-day to Ariel!!!!

My econofantasy: Tons of Benjamins trickle down on me... I buy gold shoes...

Doug The Una said...

Actonbell, I recommend a book called New Ideas from Dead Economists. It's a very well-written and often funny history of the dismal science. And with your detachable jaw for literature, you can finish it in an evening.

Neva, there's a reason penguins don't live in the jungle, I think.

Aral, then see my comment to Actonbell above. And thanks.

J.D. and mine is of an angelic Alan Greenspan. You can tell which of us lives in the big house.

mireille said...

I'm so late ... but Ariel: happy birthday to one of the most erudite commenters, one of the most astute, a princess among women and one of the hardest working entertainers in show business. xoxo

Anonymous said...

I think, my friend Doug, that you may be avoiding. Take the first two, amazing stanzas, and rewrite the last three. Make them worthy of glistening before the microphone. Make them serious!

Anonymous said...

Only you doug.

tsduff said...

A happy birthday toast to you Ariel *clinks Brennivin shotglass*

Great update Doug. Economics was a class I missed in school. (dodged is more like it)

Doug The Una said...

Mireille, that was nice. Thanks.

Dannyboy, you have no idea the kind of pressure these people put on me Wednesday mornings. It's like working in a salt mine as a shovel. (Thanks, noted.)

Cooper, you know perfectly well you dream of lectures on matrilineal social organization in agrarian cultures.

Terry, I hope this post helped to catch you up.

Ariel the Thief said...

Neva, into your refined taste I recommend my tequila. you say lime, it will be lime!

thanks again for all the kind words! Mireille, I've learned two new ones. :-P

Logophile said...

Doug, you are, in point of fact, a genius. Have I mentioned this?

So does associating with you make me look smarter, or show off my flaws?

AsianSmiles said...

American? hmm... american immigration lawyers. the fanstasy island will give them the opportunity to make things right (once and for all).

Doug The Una said...

Ariel, Mireille left out "quick learner"

Logo, calling me a genius does not make you look smarter.

Oh, dang, Asiansmiles! I missed that you were talking about Fantasy Island. Yes, you'll need American lawyers there, definitely.