Wednesday, April 11, 2007


Gather 'round children, in Heaven and Earth
And hear of a sad war once mounted
For too many things are of too little worth
To be measured ere they can be counted.

Once a mendicant friar ruled over a fiefdom
That was built out of charcoal for roasting
Until the town trollop upended the chieftan
With the army that night she'd been hosting.

For the village's mule had dreamt of a galleon
Taking wind to an island of mares.
In such a blessed place, a mule could be a stallion
Still not virile, but in that land, who cares?

All might have gone well, for all but the ass,
And the future secure for the village.
But the chief praised the mule's ambition and class
And the tramp was incited to pillage.

Soon the village was burning, the friar was frying,
The mule chopped up and fricasseed.
All that remained were the dead and the dying
And the trollop for nomads in need.

So here, little children, is the lesson for learning
And remembering wherever ye wander:
Stick to the familiar and don't get caught yearning
For love that's found outside the brothel.

UPRISING, n. The raising of a people by the razing of their platform.


Minka said...


Minka said...

*sigh of relief*

Minka said...

you showed them, big guy!

yesterday´s comment section helped:

I see Jenna in the third Paragraph, Old Mule in the fourth...who´s the friar?

I am just glad "our little children" got scolded and for once I wasn´t a part of it. Unbelievable, but true :)

Anonymous said...

Hey! The time says you posted this at 6 a.m., but it isn't so! I was here and you weren't. MEssing with my routine could result in an uprising!

Verifier: wtfun, meaning, of course, what fun.

Anonymous said...

So that's how you spell "fricaseed."

Malnurtured Snay said...

Now I just need to find a brothel.

Jamie Dawn said...

Poor, poor ass. Maybe his soul went to nirvana where several high-spirited virgins awaited him.
May he rest in pieces.

I'm feeling much more spry than when I left last night's comment.
There had been an UPRISING in the college algebra class I attend, so I led a three- hour tutoring session for the wayward (dumbasses).

LOVE the poem!!

Doug The Una said...

Minka, I have to admit its unusual for some of my friends to misbehave and none of them be you. The friar would be the self-righteous wanderer in charge of the place where the uprising occurred, I guess.

Quilly, we've been through this before. The time stamp records when the post was started, not published. Hand me your ruler.

Joel, I really have no idea. Friar's run to glib.

Snay, there may not be any in Baltimore. I'm not sure.

J.D., it's always good to have a preacher's wife around when I go unwholesome. Glad to hear you're feeling better and that those of the lamer persuasion in your algebra had a smart lady to help them.

G said...

"For too many things are of too little worth
To be measured ere they can be counted"

I just like the resonance of this part of your prose. It seems I missed something yesterday. That'll teach me to be absent. I do love a good uprising.

Uprising - Bob Marley & the Wailers album.

TLP said...

Fricasseed has a double "s."

My only comment other than that is, "Huh?" You young people have lost me on the Isle of Lesbos. Oh, well. I guess it was to be a chick uprising. Can an old hen play?

Anonymous said...

Fricasseed totally needed two Ss It was the ass that got fricasseed. God, I crack myself up.

There was an uprising and Blogger ate my comment. It was awesome too. Let me see if I can recreate it.
Oh yes.

I'm the last one standing? Sweeeeeeeet. Girl power!

Mo'a said...

Soooooooo!!!!! Late to an uprising...think I might have started one at CS...testy today...used to love cowboy hats...perhaps just tired of the one who wears it...feeling oooooold...and out of sinc...perhaps that is not so bad...many would do well to keep their mouth zipped...
Oh!!!no!!! perhaps I should take my own advise?
Verifier: ido... and ending in br...message there?

Sreekesh Menon said...

have recently been visiting thesee pages on stealth mode...almost forgot how my i enjoyed commenting on your blogs....

Miz BoheMia said...

Uprising... an action bohemians need to take in order to escape the grips of their personal Spanish Inquisitional hell I tell you! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Did someone say brothel? Yeah, I know of one or two... but 'tis not a place for healthy nurturing oh malnurtured one (lousy pun intended! BAH!)

Doug The Una said...

G, hold on for this one. So far people don't seem as uppity as I'd hoped.

TLP, thanks for the edit. While you're there, maybe look for a nice apartment.

Jenna, the prostitute with the heart of gold is always the last one standing. The legend of Rosa May, for instance.

Mo'a, you're always stirring up trouble. What demon drives you?

Sree, no lie I was sitting in this Sacramento hotel room yesterday thinking I needed to give you a call. Good to hear from you, buddy.

Doug The Una said...

Oops, sorry hermana we cross-commented. I suspect what you need to carry your family out of there is a team of mules.

The Old Mule said...

Great thunder! I can't even muster a bray. That was hilarious.

But don't think my pot isn't boiling with some brothy revenge.

Ariel the Thief said...

I've always known that the Odyssey kept back some things...

Anonymous said...

so... they started the Revolution without me? serves me right for sleeping in, again.

Uprising ~ i hate to break it to you, but that word has "double-entendre" written all over it. entendre, i might add, that begs to be let out of the... er... drawers. 'course i won't do it, but i'm bettin' a certain trollop might.

Miz BoheMia said...

Ha, ha, haaaaa! Puppybrose be funny and Ariel's new avatar is pretty... and bohemians have nothing else to say... that's a first!

The Old Mule said...

but an uprised mule is all very virile.

I had to say it.

Anonymous said...

Uprising: For food from Taco Bell, this is the next-to-last stage of digestion.

(Great poem, Dougie.)

Mo'a said...

The demon that drives me is "Computer Problems from Hell and 3 weeks of that would drive anyone crazy or at least dragging a devil"
I have had 6 tech help persons help or at least try to.....just had the 7th one and it seems that he may or may not have discovered the problem......feeling calmer.
Still tired of the cowboy wearing foot in mouth guy whose name I shall not utter here because you know who I am talking about...the only relief is that we now know who the Father is...of a certain baby whose dear departed Mother shall not be mentioned here either...I think I need audio books for my studio time even PBS is reporting all this fluff and stuff.

Neva *shakes head and smiles*
Old Mule, are we bragging?

TLP said...

I notice that you think you can gather angels to you: "Gather 'round children, in Heaven...." Some haughty aristocrat you turned out to be.

TLP said...

I think the mule is boasting, but mules are sterile, no?

ayvagtw: average times to get passed the verifier here.

The Old Mule said...

Well spoken, jh. And with that I resign my foolishness and chest thumping.

Anonymous said...

It's getting too difficult for my mind to wrap around words. I just came to check on what it was so I could ponder it while taking a shower and eating dinner. ;)

Anonymous said...

And that's why I was the last one standing, Mule.

*blows on fingers, buffs them on shirt and sashays away*

Doug The Una said...

Mule, I look forward to a big brimming cup o' revenge.

Ariel, this was the deleted scene from Circe.

Neva, you freak, you probably think "slithering reptile" is a double-entendre.

Well, hermana, that was your second comment.

Mule, and keep telling yourself that.

Al, that sounds good to me right now. Stage 1, I mean. (and thanks)

Mo'a, I've had committed Murder most foul. I hate to ask, I shouldn't ask, but what did the prez do now?

TLP, my blogmama didn't make no junk.

Jenna, I'd testify your innocence but that would be funnier than the poem.

Never, Mule, don't let her beat you down. I mean...ah, heck.

Actonbell, I can't remember what I meant. I was tired from hyperpoesy. Thanks.

Alice, you really have graduated, haven't you?

Oh how you sashay Ms. Howard. That is why you're the last one walking.

Anonymous said...

No not yet, why?
Am I to become totally stupid once I do?

Doug The Una said...

Alice, my last weeks of college, I remember as an intense period of juggling too many things I wanted to do well, short nights and long days. The morning I woke up with my last paper written and my last exams taken I found myself in a as diffused a daze and as bad a mood as I can remember. Your comment reminded me of that.