Friday, June 08, 2007


APRON, n. A piece of cloth worn in front to keep the clothes from soiling the hands.

She wore an apron ('tis a thing I loathe),
A dress beneath-a corset a la mode.
No further seek her merits to disclothe,
Nor draw her frailties from their dread abode.

2007 Update: An outer garment worn by a woman to disguise her rebellion or a man to announce his surrender.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Great new definiton...

No rebellion or surrender in our house...aprons classified as contraband from day one.

Anonymous said...

aprons and station wagons, i hasten to add. ; )

Anonymous said...

Apron: repellent and/or shackle.

Anonymous said...

apron guuaranteed to have strings attached.

You're certainly having an A+ week, Doug.

Mutha said...

Doug! I must throw the sexist flag on this one.

Apron: If you can't stand the symbolism get out of the kitchen.

Minka said...

apron,n. a piece of clothing designed to publically display clumsiness

Sar said...

Wow you go Mutha! *high five*

I clearly recall my mom wearing always wearing a specific apron for both its function and rebellion. The front of her apron sported the saying, "insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids".

Minka said...

apron,n. prototype straight jacket, invented to confine unwanted inclintations

Elbot said...

Apron: a useful article of clothing for keeping fingerprints off ones torso.

Anonymous said...

When worn by a mother-in-law and attached to a husband:

Proven [a]
Offender [of]
New brides.

Anonymous said...

Apron: When affixed to its lacey strings, or so the legend proclaims, no harm shall befall any Mom-tethered young son.

(At the same time, Mom mulls secret recipes for cooking and eating him on his 30th birthday.)

TLP said...

I'm with Mutha. Sexist to the max.

Apron: extensive paved part of an airport immediately adjacent to the terminal area (where the dog will be terminated).

A garment used by real men, such as blacksmiths.

Doug The Una said...

Joel, that was wise. I think it's best that everyone knows what the frying pans are for.

Haha, Neva. Nothing but Porsches, huh?

Quilly, with no planning whatsoever tomorrow's word starts with a, too. Hey, this makes the average of my fifth grade teachers a "C."

Not unfairly, Mutha. Good definition, though, sir.

Minka, every time I cook I look like Henri de Toulous-Lautrec.

Sar, and sanity is zoological. You get it from your dogs.

Minka, that's just sharp. Good job!

Haha, Elbot. That's how you know a robot. They're the ones that have had their torso touched.

Quilly, remember the strings can double as a noose.

Al, that's a kindness.

TLP, I plead guilty and justly scolded, little lady.

Nessa said...

Apron: Part of a shrimp cocktail. Yummy.

Mutha said...

That's ok Doug, you're cute when you're defining.

TLP said...

So, Mutha, you're gonna let him serve his time at home with just an ankle bracelet? (He probably doesn't wear jewelry either.)

I'll grant you that he's cute. Also smart. Sometimes even sweet. But the flag has been thrown, and the offense clearly shown on the replay, so there has to be a penalty.

Mutha said...

I thought my belittling him with my cute comment was punishment enough -- especially after he called me sir.

I predict Doug will claim to wear no jewelry -- but I have faith he is wearing a belly-button ring as I type.

G said...

Doug's going to the penalty box I see. Don't forget your apron as you skip on over.

Minka said...

apron, cloak of submission

Tom & Icy said...

I converted my apron into a cape!

TLP said...

Belly-button ring, bracelet, earrings, lipstick at night...what's ya think is next Mutha? The dreaded apron?

dddragon said...

Apron? What's an apron? I don't understand. Is it associated with cooking? Then I don't have anything to contribute.

Ariel the Thief said...

a domesticated housewife wears nothing but apron to make her husband happy. and maybe the plumber. and the gardener. on Thursdays.

Doug The Una said...

WHich part, Nessa?

Mutha, you make me feel like a piece of wordmeat.

Haha, g.

Minka, I sure like it when you're dark.

Icy, I betcha someone converts it back.

TLP, what happened to shooting me at the airport? I liked that better.

Dddragon, I think you wear it when cooking eggs on a grill.

Actonbell, are her children?

Ariel, what do wild housewives wear?