Friday, July 08, 2005

Conscience

Conscience, n. A morbid condition of the stomach, affecting the gray matter of the brain and producing a mental discord.

2005 Update: A mechanism for lacking what you find.

25 comments:

Manjusha said...

How about the stupid thing that hurts when everything else feels soooo good

Doug said...

Manjusha, you should have that checked.

Ben Allbright said...

Hey man, enjoy the site...you shouls really look into getting you comments done by Haloscan though...they load faster and anyone can comment without having to have a blogger account.

Sar said...

Conscience: defendant on trial, judged by gut.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

The discord caused by having Little Bar of Soap on one shoulder, Ask the Devil on the other.

Doug said...

Ben, welcome and thanks for the tip. I'd look into it except lately half the posts in the entire world seem to start with "&*^ing Haloscan!" I may wait. Meanwhile, people can comment as other or anonymous and put their names in the comment.

Sar, sentenced by psyche and executed by memory?

Haha, Tan Lucy. Good one. You're right, too: Evangelists always make me want to do wrong and nasty people always inspire me to behave. The tension can be almost unbearable. That's what keeps me out of the midnight mission.

Tom & Icy said...

The science of conning oneself

The Gnat's Trumpet said...

Society's attempt to keep the exceptional in line.

Sar said...

Doug - nicely done!

actonbell said...

I like you definitions! They're great:)

Doug said...

Icy, you mean like telling yourself you're a dog?

Gnat, nice to see you back by. I don't know why society would bother, they usually die young anyhow.

Thanks, Sar. Well done to you and Strider today, too! Last I checked you had enough cards on your site to play Bid Wist.

Doug said...

Thanks, Actonbell. Cat gave back the mouse?

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Nice work today.
You get an A-.
That is really an A, but if one gives A's too often no one will work hard enough.

Doug said...

Thanks, Alice. I actually just got back from Wonderland or not. A- is more than generous. Give me an A I'll think you owe money.

weirsdo said...

conscience: n., archaic. Primitive instrument of justice, replaced by litigation.

Comfort Addict said...

Depending upon your perspective, either the enemy or enema of modern American life.

Doug said...

Weirsdo, I didn't know you were an employer too.

CA, I think enema, because both are sorely intrusive.

Jamie Dawn said...

It shrinks as you learn to lie better.
By an early age, some kids barely have one left.
I've heard some real whoppers from four year olds.
I've also seen four year olds kill without remorse (poor little snail - smash!) and find pleasure in torturing others (Molly, honey, kitty doesn't like it when you poke his eyes with the umbrella.)

GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

What's a conscience thing I keep hearing about? If the prefix "con" means "against", and "science" represents reason...doesn't it translate to "bad science" or "against reason"?

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Doug said...

Jamie Dawn, apparently it isn't inheritable.

Gabriel, you know perfectly well that "con" means with. But, maybe.

a4g said...

Conscience: the affliction of the lower class that is most efficiently overcome with wealth or higher education.

Doug said...

a4g, I love it. Sounds like Bierce.

GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

Yeah...a4g nailed it. I concede.

)+(

a4g said...

I proudly trace the roots of my long downfall to my first exposure to Bierce.

A wonderful site, where I have lurked for several months. But all compliments belong with you, our host. Unlike you, if stumped, I can demur.

Doug said...

Gabriel, very gracious.

a4g, I don't think you qualify as a lurker. I recall your leaving good comments here a month or so back. I take your comment as "I volunteer to write a guest definition at some point in the future." And thanks for the kind words.