Thursday, July 07, 2005

Rear

Rear, n. In American Military Matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.

2005 Update: The part of the body on which a politician makes a stand.

32 comments:

karma said...

you could rest your coffee mug on mine and use it as a table

weirsdo said...

Especially in a Rump Parliament??

Sar said...

Congress + politicians = rear. Yep, sounds about right to me.

I'm also reminded of Bill Cosby's comedy bit about his kids: "Enis done pop me in the behiiind!".

Tan Lucy Pez said...

I'm over the moon on your definition of this one.

Doug said...

Karma, I doubt that's the highest best function.

Weirsdo, yes of course, Pym and Charles I and whatnot. (Thank God for wikipedia) Great pun.

Sar, Cosby does wholesome humor better than anyone, the fraying last outpost.

Tan Lucy, I suspect puns will be the order of the day. Glad you liked it.

GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

Rear, n. A highly prized object in political circles, as congressmen fight to aquire that of others while protecting their own. It is clearly a fragile piece of matter, as it can never face the door, and the doorknob should never hit it on the way out.

)+(

Sar said...

Oooh, I just thought of another one. Am I allowed to come back for seconds?

Rear: bullhorn for politicians.

Doug said...

Gabriel, I think it's highly prized in many circles. True, politics is where they get the most value out of it.

Sar, that's a riot. Come back for thirds.

actonbell said...

(notAP)The Rear of the Year award goes to the entire PA legislature for voting themselves a 16% pay increase. Now, that's using your...bullhorn (good one for sar!)

Doug said...

Actonbell, I think that's the Pennsylvania Rear of the Year award. (notAP) cracks me up.

Sar said...

Hey Actonbell, Doug said "cracks" me up. *snicker*

(Doug does that qualify as thirds?)

Doug said...

Sar, As I said earlier, puns were going to be hard to avoid today. If I pretend it was on purpose will you believe me?

As anyone who's seen me will tell you, at Doug's place, the buffet stays open all day and all night long.

Sar said...

24/7 food for fodder. ;)

Doug said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You betcha, all fertilizer all the time!

Doug said...

(Anyone confused about why Sar's last comment is hilarious should refer to yesterday's comments)

dddragon said...

Did I hear you say Jimmy Buffet? I'll take a cheeseburger, of course. Then I'll butt out.

pia said...

darn, you're all too witty and intellectual for me, butt it!

stupid I know, it's been a long day!

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Rear, n. The part of Alice coveted by many but touched by few.

Zack Brown said...

Come visit The Big Red Blog: A Political Road Sign Transcending State and Party Lines. http://zbrown.blogspot.com

Doug said...

Dddragon, will that be for here or in Paradise?

Nonsense, Pia. You've just been feeling to regal for butt jokes.

How few, Alice?

OK, Zack. Did Sar send you?

dddragon said...

Oh, in Paradise! (Will Soapy be there?) Hold the pickle, please.

Doug said...

One cheeseburger in Paradise, hold the pickle.

Sar said...

Nope, not through me, Doug.

weirsdo said...

O. k., since Alice touched on it, I'm going to leave this song I learned in college:
I wanna kiss her but--
she won't let me.
Wanna whisper sweet nothings in herrr
ear!
I wanna hold her behind
closed doors and more.
Wanna kiss her but--
she won't let me.

Doug said...

Weirsdo, my brother sang that song when we were kids.

actonbell said...

Now I'm wondering if any enterprising person has thought to put a Cheeseburger in Paradise somewhere among the buggie rides.

Tara Tainton said...

Really, how do you do it? I WISH I was just as clever and witty and able to be so on a daily basis.

I love reading your ideas!

Doug said...

Tara, believe me, you have the superior gift. I have to say, I'm kind of surprised you didn't take a pop at this one.

Comfort Addict said...

It was the best of hinds, it was the worst of hinds.

Doug said...

CA, I thought those were deer.

AP3 said...

Ah, so THAT's why it's called a "Rear Admiral"....

Doug said...

Lady, aren't you supposed to be at the beach?