Friday, July 29, 2005

Liar

Liar, n. An attorney with a roving profession. A journalist of any occupation, trade or calling. See PREACHER.

2005 Update: An expert in speaking while on another topic.

49 comments:

A Little Bar of Soap said...

PREACHER???? What filth you display here! Devil, get thee OUT!

Goa'uld said...

Liar: someone who has stretched the truth a bit farther then its maximum stretching capacity.

Minka said...

Liar: If done by the normal human being an act of wrong doing. If done by the government: sound economics and perfectly ok.

Indeterminacy said...

Here's a neat parable about a preacher:

Parable

Lie: An acceptable form of behavior if you become publicly "born again" and say you're sorry, after the lie is exposed.

Doug said...

Little Bar of Soap, I still fantasize about you.

Goa'uld, you are my Charlie Bucket.

Monika, is it true you grew up in the DDR? I think that's universal, though.

Indie, I like that parable. Thanks. What do you suppose the master would have done for a blogger? Christopher is fuzzy indeed!

karma said...

liar, liar, pants on fire :P

Sar said...

Oh, this one's ripe for the pickin'!

Liar: one who spews verbal diahrea in a selfish attempt to manipulate others.

Liar - Bush
Liar - Chenney
Liar - Rove
Liar - Condi
Liar - Rummy

Tom & Icy said...

If Truth is Nakedness, we are all overdressed.

Doug said...

Phew, Karma, I was afraid I had jock-itch.

Yep, Sar, today should be fun.

Icy, change we to you and I'd want that on my tombstone.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Liar: Something everyone else is.

See Elected Offical.

planetmoron said...

Liar: Anyone who has ever been asked the question: "Does this make me look fat?"

dddragon said...

What I frequently am when asked if I vacuumed behind the couch.

weirsdo said...

Liar: SOME one who SAYS they care for me and THEN says its really their freind, and THEN says they are all better, and THEN says they still need help and THEN says Christofer is fuzzy and THEN says they are still Christinane and looking forward to seeing me in heaven like we planed and THEN says they REALLY have feelings for LESBOS (Little Everlastingly Soapy Bar of Soap) and THEN says Christoper is fuzzy again!!!!!!!!!

Doug said...

Tan Lucy, why would you see an elected official? They're all liars.

Planetmoron, correction: Anyone yet living.

Dddragon, you should have your husband vacuum like Actonbell. Then you could use Martyr.

Pansi, you seem very upset. Since my dream I feel like I've found real harmony. Christopher is fuzzy and you are beautiful I hope we can always be friends until I see you in heaven. Oh, and that thing with Soapy was pure physical lust, and has nothing to do with the transcendent intellectual compassion I have for you.

morningdew said...

Glad I stopped by! ""liars!""

Where? Did you see one?

John Litzenberg said...

Liar, n.

An obviously incorrigible blackguard whose version of the truth disagrees with your own.

What I thought blue, you claimed as red;
My water, you called fire.
Where I am right, you disagree;
That makes you, sir, a liar.

Doug said...

You gotta look quick, Morningdew. They're rare and stealthy. Glad you dropped by.

John, Awesome. Is that an original lyric?

a4g said...

Liar, n. That type of Honest Man born with an unfortunate congenital deformity which leaves him inartful in his deceptions.

GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

Liar, n. 1. Recreational evangelist; 2. Spontaneous or arbitrary fiction writer.

)+(

dddragon said...

Doug, my DH does 98% of the cleaning in our house. He even vacs the basement before he mops the floor.

Aren't I ashamed of myself? No, but I try to look like I am.

(ooooh, I'm still a Liar)

actonbell said...

liar-2. omitting a certain truth, such as losing another gas cap.

Doug said...

a4g, I count three layers of irony there. You must be pretty good, yourself.

Gabriel, you aren't speaking Ill of Indie, are you? I'll fight ya!

Dddragon, so you're pretty much in charge of vacuuming behind the couch?

Actonbell, you Pez ladies are scandalous! I'm going to have to sit down with Tan "The car drove into the garage door on its own" Lucy.

dddragon said...

Couch? It has a behind?

Stargate is on, please get out of the way ...

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Sar I actually see it like this:
Liar: one who manipulates others in an attempt to make his verbal diarrhea appear feasible.

Marwa said...

Liar: someone who poisons the truth to avoid confrontations and trouble.

Retardo is one (you know who that is dear Doug ;)

Thanks for everything :)

Doug said...

Sorry Dddragon, my comments will be continued.

Sar, I think I have to go with Alice on this one. She's single and has a more diverse population to study.

Marwa, so good to see your name here! I'll see if "Lecher" is in Bierce's dictionary so you can mention M____t too.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Liar: A person who tries her best to protect her husband from tiresome truths. For his own good. Of course.

ActonBell, you lost another one?? Good God Gertie, girl. Buy a case of them. Hide them over here. I can omit truths with the best of them.

Doug said...

Cute, TLP, but we still need to talk.

AP3 said...

You are all too clever for me!

Doug said...

Aral, that's puck-y. Are you relieved or sad to be done with Goalie Camp?

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Okay, Doug, let's talk.

Liar: It all started with EVE and the first faked orgasm. Or was it with Adam when he said he had to work late and then came home with whiskey on his breath...? MMmmm...I need to Ask the Devil and get back to you. Sometime. Soon. You'll be too busy for this tomorrow, what with the story tellin' and all.

actonbell said...

doug, I was checking out Oldhoss's links, and found this--http://bugsbutt.blogspot.com/
it's very topical:)

Tan Lucy Pez said...

And anyway that &*#$ car DID SO drive itself into the garage. I wasn't even in the friggin' thing...

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. ;P

Sar said...

Alice - Sure, I'll buy that. Those I reference are all master manipulators, suffer severe bouts of verbal diahrrea, and are hung up on appearances! ;)

Doug said...

Tan Lucy, I accept your story and, based on what I read from Actonbell's link, I accept that it was necessary. First Faked Orgasm? Your granddaughter reads this site!!!

Actonbell, that was a great link. I have to bookmark that site, she's hysterical. Hoss sure knows how to pick his friends.

Gracious Sar, you're the best. I notice no-one challenged your list.

Sar said...

Aww, thanks Doug. :)

As for no challenge to my list, I guess that means I'm correct (lest I be referred to as right).

Sreekesh Menon said...

Lier's - they are not born, they are made.

Doug said...

Sar, not by anyone who knows you. I have to say I feel protective of Condi, though. She's sweet in cut your heart out and eat in front of you kind of way.

Sreekesh, they're not made, they're caught.

dddragon said...

Yea! Stargate SG-1 didn't end with "to be continued"

Doug said...

Huzzah!

Jamie Dawn said...

Sinner: Pastor, do liars go to hell?
Pastor: Yes, Of course.
Sinner: Are you lying about that?
Pastor: No, I assure you.
Sinner: If you were lying, then that would make you a liar, and that would mean that liars go to heaven, right?
Pastor: Uh... yes, I guess so.
Sinner: I'm a liar. I lie all the time. So, are you a liar?
Pastor: No, I am not a liar.
Sinner: Does your wife know about that ministerial visit you paid your secretary at Willows Motel yesterday afternoon?
Pastor: Ummm, Uh, yes, she knows the secretary and I were reserving a conference room there for an upcoming church event.
Sinner: Praise God! I'm going to heaven!

Doug said...

Jamie Dawn, that's great. Bless you, child.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I like the taste of this blog.

Doug said...

Welcome, bugbutt. I read your post on honesty last night. Hilarious. Plus, any friend of the Pezes is a friend of mine.

LeesahEm. said...

Liar-any person who states that they drink beer because they like the taste.

Doug said...

Masil, I'd have a response to your comment if I weren't trying to keep this site clean.

John Litzenberg said...

Doug:

Any verses I leave are my own creations, offered in the spirit of Father Gassalasca Jape, S.J., whose insightful verse peppered Bierce's original.

If you'd like something special for a particular definition, let me know. Always a pleasure :)

Doug said...

John, I think you just volunteered to be a future Wednesday guest, epigram and all. You're on the list, pal.

Comfort Addict said...

One who sees truth and mendacity as tools which, like any others, each have their appropriate uses and misuses.