Friday, January 27, 2006

Dice

Dice, n. Small polka-dotted cubes of ivory, constructed like a lawyer to lie on any side, but commonly on the wrong one.

2006 Update: Ouija boards for accountants.

34 comments:

Tan Lucy Pez said...

No dice. When I was an accountant we used smoke and mirrors, not dice.

First? Me?

Minka said...

Dice, singular form: a die! Now that already should keep fortune hunters at bay. The name clearly states, that the little money you carry around is likely gonna arrive to new plains and cease to exist in your pocket.

Tom & Icy said...

Dice is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get.

Doug said...

Technology's come a long way since then, TLP. Yes, you're first. It's going to be a great day.

Monika, it might be different the next time. You don't know for sure.

So is Ice, Ice.

Manchego said...

Finally! A cooking term!

Sar said...

Meh, I prefer cards.

Sar said...

Holy Tuna! I was Doug's 5000th blog comment yesterday? Woohoo! That means I get first dibs on all the play equipment in my intellectual playground, right? And chocolate...tell me you talked Semi into donating some delicious chocolate for the occassion. You know I'll share. I've never been one to be stingy, especially when it comes to comments. :)

(TLP - did I do your Holy Tuna justice?)

mireille said...

from Mick and friends, the ancient rockers: Tumblin' Dice...
Women think I’m tasty, but they’re always tryin’ to waste me
And make me burn the candle right down,
But baby, baby, I don’t need no jewels in my crown.

’cause all you women is low down gamblers,
Cheatin’ like I don’t know how,
But baby, baby, there’s fever in the funk house now.
This low down bitchin’ got my poor feet a itchin’,
You know you know the deuce is still wild.

Baby, I can’t stay, you got to roll me
And call me the tumblin’ dice.

Always in a hurry, I never stop to worry,
Don’t you see the time flashin’ by.
Honey, got no money,
I’m all sixes and sevens and nines.
Say now, baby, I’m the rank outsider,
You can be my partner in crime.

But baby, I can’t stay,
You got to roll me and call me the tumblin’,
Roll me and call me the tumblin’ dice.

Oh, my, my, my, I’m the lone crap shooter,
Playin’ the field ev’ry night.

Baby, can’t stay,
You got to roll me and call me the tumblin’ dice, (call me the tumblin’)
Got to roll me, got to roll me, got to roll me (oh yeah)
Got to roll me. got to roll me, got to roll me ( keep on rolling, keep on rolling

logo said...

Well, I haven't got much to say on this topic, for some reason I am really looking forward to seeing what Cube has to say.
Happy Friday, everyone, have a great weekend and don't forget to keep your hand inside the vehicle.

Minka said...

Doug, spoken like a true believer! Good things come to those whole wait...

Doug said...

Yes, Manchego, or at least a Ronco term.

Sar, cards are too social for me. It's easier to shoot crap wearing a knife.

Thanks, Mireille. Good song.

Good weekend, Logo.

Yeah, hey, if I just had a few bucks til Monday I bet I could double it. Triple even.

Minka said...

MIZ B. you must be kidding...they are not delayed. It can not be!

Miz BoheMia said...

Dice...a gamble... not in my favor...

They got delayed again Doug. I am not kidding...

dddragon said...

Is someone rolling dice on Miz Bohemia's In-Laws staying or not?

Em said...

heheheh this is my favorite definition so far ;)

still life said...

dice (n) second string jury brought in when traditional form is hung.

Doug said...

Miz B, I notice Monika knew a minute before you posted. Supspicious. They aren't flying AirIceland, are they? My heartfelt sympathy.

Hahaha, Dddragon. Not me. Not anymore.

Why thanks, Em.

That's so good, Still Life. Where have you been?

Rio said...

used in games of chance, i carry some around for life, its the biggest game of chance

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

I feel like I'm rolling them everytime I click on your link.

Anonymous said...

Dice are not nice, but convenient because you can throw them at people if they don’t lie the way you want them to.

Ambiguous Effect

LeesahEm. said...

Dice-old skool gamer accessories.

Jamie Dawn said...

Dice: I'm visualizing those big, fuzzy ones hanging from the rearview mirror of some lowrider car with the bass up so loud the windows are pulsating.

Doug said...

Rio, and the best part is there's always a game nearby.

Yeah,Alice, sorry for all the snakeyes.

Anonymous, it's true that games of chance and projectiles co-evolved. Always entertaining.

Masil, those were the days, before gambling moved indoors and Doom out.

Jamie Dawn, you should know, everyone should know that I once owned a 1976 Chevy Nova with fuzzy dice hanging from the rear-view. Not much radio, though. Here's the ace kicker, I threw a rod in South-Eastern Ohio and sold it for $50 to a gas-station attendant on credit. I'm still trying to decide if it's better being fat and middle-class or thin and sorry.

pia said...

Dice don't contain lice because that wouldn't be nice however they have rice and ice to throw at vice

Doesn't make sense to me either!

Jenna Howard said...

Dice huh? That's pretty much how I decided my last date. Explains a lot.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

Dice?

I thought they were dead mice with small polka-dots that lay on any side, but commonly on the dead one.

I think I've watched the "Dead Parott" episode of Monty Python one too many times.

a4g said...

Dice, n. One of the more expensive ways to get a complimentary drink.

Jamie Dawn said...

"Dice" reminds me of the many games I played of Yahtzee when I was growing up. Well, even some as an adult too. Games of chance are fun when you don't want to have to strategize. They are really fun when you happen to have a lucky streak!

Jamie Dawn said...

You actually had the fuzzy dice!! How neat! I never did have any. If I ever see them somewhere, I will buy them and proudly hang them from the rearview mirror of our
Volvo.

Mr. Banana said...

A gentleman's business venture.

In response to your proposition, yeah, yeah, sure. Nobody never said Pansi wasn't the star. We just got a new star now until Miss Pansi is better.
I'm happy you have decided not to hurt nobody. Violence is against my nature.

Sal Banana said...

P. S. I just read that you have a broken leg. I just wanted to say again how averse I would be to making it two.

Doug said...

Pia, a poem for men and mice.

Jenna, it works pretty well to decide who's buying.

Poobah, is that possible?

a4g, yup.

Jamie Dawn, I'm still waiting on a yahtzee! I still dream. I do. Fuzzy dice on a volvo has to happen someday. I'm pretty sureyou'll be a pioneer.

I appreciate that, Mr Banana. I think we understand each other.

YOU NO WHO!!!! said...

VERY DISSAPOINTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Omnipotent Poobah said...

Doug,

Do you mean mice with polka dots or watching too much Monty Python?

The former? Sure, it's possible. The latter? Probably not so much.