Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Misfortune
MISFORTUNE, n. The kind of fortune that never misses.
Our baby, thirty-seven, has the misfortune of being stuck in London until at least next Monday--she was scheduled to be back last Saturday--when she has another flight booked out. She went for work, I think if she does 'Houston work' while there that will be permissible. Of course her family misses her and vice versa. ..
Sung in my best cowboy voice... Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little dogies It's your misfortune and none of my own Whoopie ti yi yo, git along little dogies You know that Wyoming will be your new home
Gloom, despair, and agony on me, Deep dark depression, Excessive misery, If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all, Gloom, despair, and agony on me.
"Ya know what, Gordo?"
"No what, Leroy?"
"Las' night I thought m'luck had finally changed. I met a prudy little lady at the bar who said her name was Miss Fortune. Sos I tooked her home with me."
"Oh-oh."
"Yep. I woke up this morning and the purdy little girl was gone and so's m'wallet." _________
MISFORTUNE, n. also known as "opportunity" -- someone else's.
Jim, sorry to hear. When you're down on your luck, and you ain't got a buck, in London you're a goner.
Amoeba, I was wondering when the dudes would morph into Abbot and Costello. Well done.
TLP, I agree. Getting mugged by a quaker isn't statistically significant.
Aye, Mo'a, but whose misfortune?
Terry, back in my cowboy days we used to do variations of that songs whenever tourists driving through would stop to take pictures. I don't remember how exactly, but "Yippie ti yi yo" morphed into "Yicky icky!" which we all thought was a knee-slapper.
Mule, that's another grand one.
Well, Thom, maybe or maybe good fortune for the folks at the destination.
Right, Quilly.
Sauerkraut, good fences are hard to listen through.
18 comments:
misfortune: An unmarried fortune?
Our baby, thirty-seven, has the misfortune of being stuck in London until at least next Monday--she was scheduled to be back last Saturday--when she has another flight booked out. She went for work, I think if she does 'Houston work' while there that will be permissible.
Of course her family misses her and vice versa.
..
"Dude, can you spare a dime?"
"Are you kidding, dude? From that far away, I can't even see it, never mind hit it. Not even with a 16-pound ball. Which I can't even lift."
"Wuss. But that's your misfortune."
"How could I possibly miss fortune, dude, when I never had one in the first place?"
"Which, I suppose, dude, explains how come you can't spare a dude a dime."
Look, dude, I explained this already ..."
Talk about misfortune: "My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a Quaker." (Woody Allen)
I would have thought that just looking like Woody would have been misfortune enough.
Eyjafjallajökull
Sung in my best cowboy voice...
Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little dogies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Whoopie ti yi yo, git along little dogies
You know that Wyoming will be your new home
misfortune: fools gold, or lack thereof.
MISFORTUNE, n. - Volcanic ash over the Eurpoean nations
Gloom, despair, and agony on me,
Deep dark depression, Excessive misery,
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all,
Gloom, despair, and agony on me.
"Ya know what, Gordo?"
"No what, Leroy?"
"Las' night I thought m'luck had finally changed. I met a prudy little lady at the bar who said her name was Miss Fortune. Sos I tooked her home with me."
"Oh-oh."
"Yep. I woke up this morning and the purdy little girl was gone and so's m'wallet."
_________
MISFORTUNE, n. also known as "opportunity" -- someone else's.
My neighbors have this odd saying about fences and neighbors, although I don't quite get it.
Dahling, I do believe I must have a target on my posterior that this sort of "fortune" hits without fail.
Why is serendipity so cold and cruel when she visits me and so kind to those around me?
That B****
Love your definition. Hard to top
sauerkraut,
It's a Robert Frost poem:
Mending Wall
Something there is that doesn't love a wall ...
Poobah, that was exceptional.
Jim, sorry to hear. When you're down on your luck, and you ain't got a buck, in London you're a goner.
Amoeba, I was wondering when the dudes would morph into Abbot and Costello. Well done.
TLP, I agree. Getting mugged by a quaker isn't statistically significant.
Aye, Mo'a, but whose misfortune?
Terry, back in my cowboy days we used to do variations of that songs whenever tourists driving through would stop to take pictures. I don't remember how exactly, but "Yippie ti yi yo" morphed into "Yicky icky!" which we all thought was a knee-slapper.
Mule, that's another grand one.
Well, Thom, maybe or maybe good fortune for the folks at the destination.
Right, Quilly.
Sauerkraut, good fences are hard to listen through.
Never misses, huh, Tempest?
Logo, fear the day misfortune gets GPS.
Thanks, Pia.
Right, Karen.
I like the serendipity over the fence rewrite Doug.
2B: I got it I got it !
2B UMPIRE: (Right arm, hand clenched in a fist) YOU'RE OUT
The kind of fortune whose privates are Rosencrantz and Gildenstern.
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