Monday, January 21, 2008


LIVER, n.  A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The sentiments and emotions which every literary anatomist now knows to haunt the heart were anciently believed to infest the liver; and even Gascoygne, speaking of the emotional side of human nature, calls it "our hepaticall parte." It was at one time considered the seat of life; hence its name -- liver, the thing we live with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose; without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg pate.

2008 Update:   A larval die-er.


Ariel the Thief said...

Liver, the only part of our body increased by alcohol.

TLP said...

To liver or to dyer, that is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler to live with your white hair or to color it.

Anonymous said...

.....with bacon and onions.

mireille said...

I'm not buying the rationale for it being the seat of life: "liver, the thing we live with." Did Ambrose really write that??? Ok, now that I've vented my spleen, carry on. TLP: have you considered stripes? I think that might be the way to go. Then you get the nobility of silver PLUS some stylin' streaks. It would be very babeish. Doug loves beauty tips on the blog. xoxo

Nessa said...

I like liver pate.

Are you trying to scare us with mean Lemur ghosts, Doug?

TLP: Perhaps you could go with wigs, so you could change your hair with your outfit.

The Old Mule said...

liver: a sieve for salubrity, an aspirin for the four a.m..

Jamie Dawn said...

Chicken livers fried up nice & crispy along with some onions are mighty tasty. I do not fix this at home because my family will wretch and gag.
Liver wussies!!
I also like fried gizzards. My mom is the best chicken fryer! I grew up on gooood fried chicken.
I say this as I'm currently drinking a veggie blend of broccoli, cucumber, spinach, lemon juice, low cal OJ, and ginger root. (It's not as good as fried chicken.)
My mom keeps almonds in her desk, but you'll want to visit their onsite store and steal a big gift package whenever you go by there. Better yet, sneak into the cold storage and haul out a 25 pound box or two. Just tell anyone who sees you that Marguerite told you to take them, and you'll have no problema getting out of there with a good haul. They opened a new store just off of Interstate 5 at the Patterson Exit right in the midst of all those fast food places.
I'm done talking now.

Minka said...

liver, n. St. Peter's gate de corpus

Anonymous said... thank you.

Doug The Una said...

Ariel, you're forgetting the tongue, heart and spleen.

TLP, you're cute as a button with your white hair.

Bacon and onions sounds good, Mo'a.

Mireille, what would be a good scent to go with stripes?

Nessa, no?

Mule, you have the poet's art of making a hangover romantic. You could be Hemingway.

Adios, JD. I am definitely stopping next time I drive up that way. I'll give my regards to Marguerite.

Minka, is that a dessert?

Joel, I'm with you on beef liver but with jamie Dawn on the liver of the feathered hen. Them's good eatin'

Anonymous said...

-pouts- my definition disappeared. I was right below the old mule and now...I'm not. Not that I remember what I wrote or anything but I know I tried!

tsduff said...

Sorry - I don't get the update.

Not much good about liver, other than I've still got mine.

Will have to see your new store off the 5... it isn't far from here. I like almonds. (you know, those pastel colored ones show up at weddings alot...)

Anonymous said...

According to Wikipedia the liver plays a major role in metabolism ....which means mine isn't working.

Anonymous said...

liver: A good reason to become a vegetarian.

can't eat it, can't live....without it.

Thinking about it is making me sick though, thanks for that.

Ariel the Thief said...

When a woman wants to go to bed with every man she sees, we say that she has a white liver.

Elbot said...

Ha! I'm liver than you. It's the electricity.

Anonymous said...

Leopold Bloom ate with relish the inner organs of beasts and fowls. He liked thick giblet soup, nutty gizzards, a stuffed roast heart, liver slices fried with crustcrumbs, fried hencod's roes. Most of all he liked grilled mutton kidneys which gave to his palate a fine tang of faintly scented urine.

Anonymous said...

Liver: the color of a coward's lily.

what? i'm late... and that -- by my odd way of thinking -- is better than:

Liver: one who doesn't die.

Anonymous said...

PS: i actually do get the update... and find it disturbing-yet-brilliant. (assuming it means what i think it means) ; )

Doug The Una said...

Jenn, it was a brilliant definition, too, I'm certain.

Terry, if you want to see a list of the products available at JD's mom's store, you can click the Stewart and Jasper button in the side bar. Waking Ambrose endorses their products.

Quilly, I didn't know that. I thought it just separated nutrients for the blood from toxins for the tongue.

Actually, Cooper, the best reason to become a vegetarian.

That's interesting, Ariel. Bierce's poem, Colonel Jackson's Prayer, includes the line "you know my liver's white."

Elbot, batteries are replaceable and blood runs thin by the thirties.

Weirsdo, is it Leopold Bloom Day?

Neva, if its disturbing then you probably do get it. I always loved "lily-livered" as an insult. That I never got but repeat often.

Cie Cheesemeister said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again: liver is offal.