Saturday, December 02, 2006

Couldn't stay away, could you?

OK, then let's play a game. This is, more or less, a backwards treasure hunt. The object of this game is to lead people back here to learn what's happening after confusing them so here are the steps:

1. Pick five sites in the blogroll to the right, whose author has left no comment on this post.
2. Leave the prescribed comment, with no explanation.
3. Come back and replace the prescribed comment in the comments below.

The idea is that people will see a nonsensical nonsequitur and react to it. As they browse around, they may see the same comment from you or a different one from someone else. Over time, if they are sharp, they'll realize that all the strange comments are coming from the Waking Ambrose community and being made on blogs in the Waking Ambrose community. If it works, when they get back, they laugh and join the game.

To keep it fun, the strange comments should change. So, if there are no comments below, you are first and your job is to leave the comment "I just saw an elephant fly" on five blogs. Then come back and leave a comment with a new sentence for the next person to leave somewhere. If there are comments below, use whatever sentence the last commenter left.

On Etiquette: Just in case some of y'all are of the unholdable tongue variety, if someone asks you what you mean by whatever you said, just keep still. You don't have to answer every question someone asks. Ask TLP. Also, if you're already playing and someone leaves a weird comment don't say yeah, I saw that on Waking Ambrose. It's a game. When I get back we all get to laugh at whoever received the most of these comments without leaving one here.

Sound good? OK, get to it. I'll be watching.


Sponge Girl said...

"Not without my loofah, I won't!"

Anonymous said...

Morning... *yawn*... ??? *blinks*...

Wow, Doug, your drunk tests are, like, really hard...

Anonymous said...

My toes have turned green.

Indeterminacy said...

But does it taste like tang?

Anonymous said...

this has everything to do with evanescence, and nothing to do with crazy pills, right?

TLP said...

I'm pretty sure I had ten toes yesterday---one seems to have gone missing during the night.

Mutha said...

(YEY!!! A surreal game! My favorite!)

I remember that time when you and that girl did the thing. It was around the corner from that place that used to be a dry cleaners.

Logophile said...

Laughing at people is fun, isn't it?

But its way more fun when you are NOT LAUGHING AT ME.

Mistress Anna said...

I must be really tired today...The game is not making sense to me. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

(haha, Mom. You put it in my head, and I'm here.)

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Unknown said...

i have not understood this stupid game at all. who cares? i'm all for trashing this place in Douglas' absense. anyone game???

*dances on table*

Indeterminacy said...

(A couple of times the comment I left "My toes turned green" actually fit the post! So I wonder what they thought.
Karma: I do my bit in trashing by leaving comments from time to time).

Anonymous said...

Hats off to you Mrs. Nesbit!

Anonymous said...

Indie! I'm cracking up because I read your comment and thought, "hmmm, he's a literary type of guy, maybe he's green with envy at the artist's songwriting ability". I'm so laughing and then TLP left the "crazy pills" comment and I thought "hmmm maybe she doesn't like the artist", then Neva left the tang querie and I began to get a little suspicious.

This is a great exercise in just how we overthink things. Loved it. That rascal Doug!

Anonymous said...

And also, mine was great - Actonbell's "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!". I'm cracking up imagining the blogger's reaction to that one.

G'night all.

tsduff said...

It was a dark and stormy night...

Anonymous said...

G: i agree! i also lovelovelove Squaregirl's "Not without my loofah, I wont!"

Mistress Anna & Karma: I believe this particular game is not only confusing, it's evil. Fun, but evil. Not unlike a certain curmudgeon, I might add.

Unknown said...

indi, i always suspected your remarks were very cutting :P

neva, i love Evil with a vengeance. thank god he's not around right now. and what about the dogs? does he not have any concern for them? the poor poppets must be miserable, they're nowhere around. hey, who let the dogs out???

*takes swing at Ming vase with baseball bat, but misses*

heufmk: huge F****** mistake

The Lazy Iguana said...

How about this for the next game. We all leave random "code word" sounding comments on random blogs - such as "the red weasel is driving the yellow toadstool". Then we wait to see who is visited by Homeland Security first!

Anonymous said...

I agree with your first point, but shifting allegiances make it difficult for me to give you the support you require for a coup.

Anonymous said...

I've read the rules a few times and I don't get them either. But then again I am pouting until Dougie returns so...


Methinks the rules aren't meant to make sense, ladies. And so I shall rebel and just fill this comment section up with inaneness for 2 weeks. Haha!

Anonymous said...

You opposed to my other inaneness. ;)

Anonymous said...

Since Doug has left us without any care as to how we feel, I think we should write a running story about what he is doing without us. I'll start and then each person can add to his adventures.

On December 1st 2006, Doug left on a trip to France. He drove to the airport, excited about his two week adventure. Unfortunately, he did not read the carryon rules very carefully and so security tagged him for a full body search.

Like Bridget Jones, he finds himself in a foreign jail singing Madonna songs with oriental women.

Sponge Girl said...

This is actually quite funny, goldennib, because it's true!

Anyone who's had a quick peek at the Indonesian customs register from that particular month will know that a certain lexicographically oriented* friend of ours was held overnight in the local lock-up for carrying - and I quote - "suspicious maracas and an indecently shaped piece of cheese", purportedly for use at a French interpretive dance festival.

I was doing a pro bono case at the time (U2 needed a favour) and happened to witness the poor sap, who was in surprisingly high spirits, teaching a jailful of... hm, personages of questionable gender origin... a pretty elaborate "wax on-wax off" routine.

Of course I have photos, and am easily bribed.

*fortunately, the practice was no longer outlawed in his stopover destination - things could have gotten a lot worse otherwise...

Anonymous said...

Sponge Girl, i owe you an apology... your first line in the comment section for this crazy post was great! *and* may i add, that was an excellent continuation of Nessa's story! if you guys don't mind, i should like to ponder and come back for my own contributuion.

oh, and Jenna?? is it hard to pout in glitter lipstick? xox

Indeterminacy said...

This is actually a reverse-pyramid scheme. Whoever waits the longest to get into it gets the most comments out of it.

Anonymous said...

"Doug stopped and blinked, and he wondered. Transvestites behind bars, where had he seen that before? Shifting on his cot in that crowded cell, turning away from the other prisoners, Doug's thoughts drifted to memories of a safer time.

"But, just then, a strange smell, from nowhere! What...? He fell from the lumpy mattress, springs squeaking loudly, onto the cold concrete floor."

Unknown said...

"Those exotic spices ... cloves, cardamom, saffron playing a menage a trois. The pure virgin white fragrant grains of Basmati rice intermingled with ones that blushed a deep orange. The succulent morsels of lamb just about to melt ... all making a perfect marriage and holistically teasing the senses.

It could only be one thing - authentic Hyderabadi Biryani. And only one person could be secretly carrying it under her swishing silk sari. Karma!

She had often told him she could be in several places at the same time..."

Anonymous said...

Doug is lurking, you know. He was not really successful in mailing himself anywhere, so he's hanging around the post office with his laptop, lapping up all this attention like a dog. The real dogs are the ones who at some posh doggie resort in Southern California, getting massages, skin treatments, and manicures.

mireille said...

Yes, the dog is getting a manicure in the French suburbs. He favors Essie "Ballet Pink," a sheer shade that complements his skin -- er, fur -- tone. xoxo

Anonymous said...

"Karma!" said a startled Doug. "Did you bring a file? Or a hacksaw?"

"'Better than that, Doug. Far better than that!'" As her scented sari swished silently around him, Doug felt himself moving, floating. Around him, erupting in a raucous but very tasteful riot, the jailed transvestites lunged at the evanescing Doug, grappling instead the thin air he had once occupied.

"But, he wondered, where was he going? What would be his next stop?"

Anonymous said...

(This is fun. Take your time, Doug. We don't need you. Just your URL. :-)

Anonymous said...

"Through some well placed bribes (putting the money in the guards' pockets by hand) Doug walked from his cell a free man. While he had given up a few dollars, he left with several phone numbers.

"I need a change of clothes and a change of scenery. He retrieved his luggage, found a gas station restroom, washed in the sink and change into his only clean clothes, his Doctor Dentons.

"Doug hitched a ride to the airport and since all of his liquids were 3 ounces or less he was allowed to board the plane.

"Unfortunately, it was not the plane to France.

"Fortunately, it took him to Iceland."

Anonymous said...

"Iceland wasn't at all what Doug had expected. Surpisingly, he could feel, through the thin dots of pink rubber on the soles of his baby blue pajamas, a radiant heat rising up from the rocky ground, and he could smell something, faint but familiar wafting by from a distance, like a barbecue...?

"Just then, he heard many voices approaching behind him, and turned to face a crowd of Troglodytes running straight toward him. He crouched instinctively, arms folded, head down. Had they selected him as a target?

"'Hurry!" they shouted as they passed, "Hurry! The Ice Queen is coming!"

"Oh no! thought Doug. He was realizing at last that, far from being over, his vacation had just begun."

Anonymous said...

Ah, Doug, I have so missed your sense of humor....

TLP said...

I'm not a good story writer, so I'm skippin' back to Diesel's,
"I agree with your first point, but shifting allegiances make it difficult for me to give you the support you require for a coup." and leavin' it on some folks who haven't dropped in here yet.

And now back to your regularly scheduled program:

Unknown said...

"Where?" said Doug, his blubber quivering with excitement.

"From yonder iceberg", shouted the prettiest Troglodyte, her matted hair streaming behind her like an errant wind sock, "But be careful, she doesn't like tourists, and often eats them for breakfast. If you want to escape to a warm place, come with us. We're all going to Spain, but I must warn you, it sometimes rains there in the plains."

Doug took one last look behind him as he ran off with the pack of Troglodytes.

In the distant horizon, he could see a black dot sliding down the hill on its belly, and as it became bigger, he realized it was teh penguin.

Anonymous said...

Doug, you really need to leave much clearer instructions next time. I don't think one person here was able to follow your instructions.

Oh yea hope you're having fun...we are miserable and pretty pissed off, but OC has stolen your flock.

Mistress Anna said...

Jenna...are you insinuating Doug is gone for 2 weeks..Cause we could just wreak havoc...Not that I ever would, but we could;)

Hobbes said...

I don't know, Doug. That sounds like a lot of work, and I just came here in the course of answering a comment (o. k., I'm behind already), but at least now I know why G was threatening me with the Spanish Inquisition, forsooth.

Doug The Una said...

Well, I see some of you follow instructions well and a few went 100% the wrong way. I'm usually in the latter category so all is forgiven. Tell y'all what. I'll put a new post below this one for continuing the story and for those who thought the game was neat, continue here with:

The Jackyls ate my baby! again!

Anonymous said...

But it's my only line!

TLP said...

Do these body Thetans make me look fat?

Unknown said...

i don't think anyone is in the mood to listen to you, Douglas. although i noticed the new backdated post.

now shoooooooooo!

niearrzb: so near, yet so far

Charlene Amsden said...

Doug? Who let him in!?

Logophile said...

Do we have to use them in order, there is nothing like a good Spanish Inquisition comment out of the blue.
Good one, Actonbell!

What kind of byzantine mind concocts such convoluted entertainment anyway?

Anonymous said...

Now I'm beginning to understand. A bit. Can tell, but won't, what kind
of mind brings such convoluted entertainment

Remember my original, and only, blogging motto? Steal Doug's blogroll. Might
have to rethink that. As you're offering it so readily

Unknown said...

think i'm too daft. i can't get the instruction thru my head.

i'll watch too.

Anonymous said...

We could, Anna. We could!

Our way!!! Bwahahahahaha.

You and adult supervision.

tsduff said...

I thought it was a dingo?

Anonymous said...


*my head hurts*

Anonymous said...

Jackyls? Dingos? They're both dogs, right?

tsduff said...

Besides, when did Doug have a baby?

Anonymous said...

*snicker* tsduff, I'm laughing at that AND the impromptu-strange comment left on Dddragon's blog by Hoss. He doesn't come over here, but he plays along so well, anyway!

Mistress Anna said...

the baby ate my dingo....AHHHHHHH!!!

Minka said...


I go away for a couple of days and then this:

a) The traveling curmudgeon checks in
b) he instructs a game and it is complicated to comprehend and followed for about five minutes until others come up with somethign else
c) 6 of those dafts comments I got and let me tell you i was puzzled :)
d) I think it is a wonderful play and I hope i tsill find 5 in teh blogroll that haven´t tried to wrap tehir brains aorund these instructions yet...I need painkillers.

The colour of poo is brown!

TLP said...

Actually Minka, you were supposed to leave the comment, "the baby ate my dingo....AHHHHHHH!!!" But since I see that you have left "The colour of poo is brown!" on a couple of sites, maybe I should leave the "dingo" comment... life is difficult. So many decisions.

Tell you what: it seems to be that the few folks who have not visited are Aral Peppermint Patty Pez, Dddragon, and The Village Idiot. Maybe we should just bombard them with the "poo" comments. Or not. Whatever.

Anonymous said...

TLP: OR we could all leave *several* comments on those sites (i've already visit your daughters'... at least i think i have. if i haven't i meant to. i really did.) where was i again? oh yeah... i think we should go in and leave variations of all of the above. or not. maybe i'll be the only one to do so, and look so utterly stupid you can all just start making fun of me. no wait, i don't need to do that for you all to start making fun of me, do i?

what was i saying? bet it was funny. or was it stupid? crap. i can't remember. start with the "poo" comments you say? works for me.

Cie Cheesemeister said...

Nobody likes me everybody hates me, think I'll go eat worms!
Actually I don't think I'd have played the game correctly. But nobody came and asked me to play, so I'm gonna go cry now!

Cie Cheesemeister said...

Ok, I'm going to try it and if I get it wrong, it wouldn't be the first time.

Loose lips sink ships.

Cie Cheesemeister said...

All right, Doug, just for you I have made myself look crazy--er. So I will blame you if any of the people upon whose blogs I posted that nonsequitor comment come hating on me!

Kyahgirl said...

You see, a girl steps away from her blog for a few days and comes back to a baffling array of comments. If she was smart should would have thought of a naughty Beagle right off the bat. You are such a troublemaker Pascover!
(My favorite kind of dog. )

The Village Idiot said...

poo is brown, unless you eat large quantities of banmboo leaves, then it is green.

Pass that on to TLP

The Village Idiot said...

and yes I am back in fine form typos lack of spell check and punctuation and proper capitalization

Anonymous said...

Kyah, people have been trying with me but comments on. I am almost tempted to turn the comments on to see what I would get!

Oh sure I'd get a lecture for turning them back on but I rarely heed what the lecturer ever says to me anyways. Hm...choices.

Mistress Anna said...

I represent the chickaneer contingent. Come on come all. Ride my big red balloon.

Anonymous said...

Logo, I may have offended some with "What kind of byzantine mind concocts such convoluted entertainment anyway?", but I'm still laughing.

Doug The Una said...

Spongegirl, good start.

Al, three steps. You wish the New York cops would be so kind.

Goldennib, I hate when that happens.

Indie, I knew they made wine from something.

Puppybrose, yes?

TLP, gotta watch your piggies over here.

Mutha, all the games I play are surreal. You ever try chutes and ladders?

Logo, I was laughing with you.

Mistress, making sense is plus canadienne.

There ya go, Actonbell! A good one with a literary heritage. You're so refined!

Karma, now where will I play cards?

Indie, that's great. All the better.

G, I'm glad it worked at least once.

Terry, this exercise needed Bulwer-Lytton. Thank you.

Puppybrose, what better compliment? That was Sponge Girl, though, not squaregirl.

Karma, the dogs are with their mother eating hamburgers. Um, that "ming" vase was my piggy bank.

Iggie, welcome! Glad you're here. OK, next time we'll lpay the Gitmo Game.

Diesel, that was a great one.

Jenna, nice lipstick. What's in it?

Ah ha, Goldennib! The treachery begins!

A. Spo, that's my best technique.

Not for her, Puppybrose.

Exactly, Indie. I learned it from Iznop!

Et Tu, Al?

Karma, I remembered your Hyderbadi Biryani post by the second sentence.

Oh, yeah, Actonbell? Then why is the stamp on my butt cancelled?

C'est chic, Mireille!

Cheers, Al!

Iceland, Goldennib! Thank you, tropical climes like Indonesia and Finland make me sweaty.

Al, I'm sort of enjoying the time off. All rise!

Thank you, Nony! I'll be home on the 14th and we can reacquaint.

Thank you, Blogmama for getting us back on track. You're the best.

Good news, Karma! I'll be saved for sure!

OK, Alice. Here are my clearer instructions. Write your comment, log in and then, click on "Publish."

Go ahead, Mistress. If I can be bad, you can be better.

Weirsdo, I didn't mean to strain anyone. You go have fun.

Participating Pezes, thanks, those were good. And TLP? Not at all. Honest.

Karma, my prawn pulao, who said to listen to me?

Quill, Argus fell asleep all but the last eye.

Logo, however you want to play it, play it.

Pia, it may be an odd mind, but its the only one I've got. Had.

Treespotter, welcome. Grab the soft chair.

Jenna, so up to now you've been supervised? You're shameless!

Good, Terry!

Karen, we'll pick you up in round two.

Right, Actonbell.

Since Minka found that blood test in the post below, Terry.

Actonbell, that is funny. I should maybe call "Playin' Hoss"

Now, Mistress, that's just gross.

Minka, elegant. How many do you think we'd have got in if Al and Goldennib hadn't sold me out?

Yes, TLP, let there be poo.

Puppybrose, an excellent starting point.

Cheesemeister, I've read your blogs. I take full responsibility if your reputation for sanity suffers.

Kyah, woof!

Hey, welcome back, VI!

Jenna, if I'm going to lecture you, I'll keep it short.

Haha, TLP. But not busy-ness.

Chickaneer? Nice!

Not me, G.

Minka said...

TLP, I rerlaized it immediately after I re-read teh instructions. I am sorry! IU really know I like to follow teh rules aorund here. Always been teh quiet type myself :)

Doug, we would have gotten in a lot. Especially since I had no intention of checking your blog for teh next 14 days...what with you being n Europe and all and not posting and commenting (sorta!). I think Al made me go ove rhere though and goldennib too :)

Anonymous said...

I was this close ][ to getting lectured last night, I'll have you know, had I turned the comments back on because he actually snooped on the blog yesterday. Oh sure I got lectured anyways but it was on something else entirely. An hour of it. Aurgh! Methinks he likes to lecture just to hear me go "Okay! Fine! You're right! Shut up will ya?" And damn I hate it when he's right. Bah!

My lipstick is top secret Doug. I still think Anna and I should run amok amok amok. We do amok really well. Whaddaya say, Anna? Wanna amok it up with me? Oh heck - anyone else because I still don't get this comment thing. Utterly over my head but most things are.

And so concludes today's inaneness.

Oh wait...right *pout*

Mo'a said...

OK!!! I was not going to come here...thought enough that I wrote copiously on post below.....also I was enjoying the one liner I got on my site....they stoped coming....why? And why do we continue coming? Are we slaves to the Doggie Face? He is cute I give you/us that?

Mistress Anna said...

I can run amok. I do that well.
An now for something haunting.

"Cold as the northern winds

In December mornings,

Cold is the cry that rings

From this far distant shore."
Exile, Enya

Jenna: Never give them ammo...because they usually use it.

Oh and "Bah humbug" to the spammer.

Anonymous said...

Anna I know you can run amok well. We've been doing it for, um, many years (I started to count then cry so I gave up)

Oh my friend there's plenty of ammo with me never fear! Whoa!Methinks you have plenty on me.

You so pretty, Mistress Anna.

Hobbes said...

O. k. I did it. If it weren't for your steadfast devotion to Pansi I wouldn't have. Btw, did you know the Weirsdos are making plans to invade France this spring?

Wait--that's not my sentence!

Anonymous said...

I can't do it yet because I have to review what pansi did and then think about it. It sounds a little complicated.

I'm a simple girl.
Please direct me to the authoritative post on this.

Lila said...

Spanish inquisition and poo poo on YOU!

Lila said...


TLP said...

Don't be bitter baby. It's not becoming. The colour of poo is brown, btw.

3D is the last to catch on. heheheh

Doug The Una said...

Minka, it was sort of the point, though. Maybe next time a simpler game?

Jenna, who is this mysterious he?

Thanks, Mo'a. I find a wag now and then to be a great way of getting return visits.

Nice amok running, Mistress. And yes, spammers have no hope of heaven.

Jenna, my first glance of your comment to M.A. read "I know you run amok well. I've been to court for it."

Thanks for playing, Weirsdo. I saw that on Puppytoes blog, directed at me. I almost feel like I haven't been there because I spend all my time in France in Alsace so it's really greater Germany. That will be big fun. Have the kids been before?

Cooper, maybe an anthropological explanation would help. The natives of the blogosphere, a matriarchal and matrilineal society place a high degree of emphasis on self-identification, coming as they do from an extensive and sparse community. They mostly eat leaves and onion dip.

Hahahaha, AP3 gotcha.

And envy green, right TLP?

Hobbes said...

Doug: No. I haven't been since 1990.
I had a really fun time in Alsace in 1983, but we will just be seeing Paris this time.