Thursday, December 28, 2006


MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.
The bones of Agammemnon are a show,
And ruined is his royal monument,
but Agammemnon's fame suffers no diminution in consequence. The monument custom has its reductiones ad absurdum in monuments "to the unknown dead" — that is to say, monuments to perpetuate the memory of those who have left no memory.

2006 Update: Stone or metal chosen to durably recall achievement and dependably forget motive.


The amoeba said...

First? Is Minka OK?

MONUMENT, n. The apple to an "I".

Anonymous said...

what is built here, word by word, every day

ukmioza: in England, i ooze

Minka said...

Alive and kicking, OC! Thanks for asking though.

monument,n. see: Doug's definition
(my exact thoughts on the subject, only more sublimely put! He´s got a way with words, that one!)

Minka said...

monument,n. a structure of endurance errected for victory over the forgetfulness of our Human minds.

Charlene Amsden said...

monument history textbooks, created to preserve image, not truth

Anonymous said...

hey -- i seem to recall something similar a few months ago, or was that something i *thought* was similar, defined, then discovered i was wrong? heh, ya know, some day someone will build a monument to my memory, made of gauze.

Monument: granite gratitude; marbled memento; token totem and/or all too often, bullsh*t bathed in bronze.

Anonymous said...

Monument: Celebrated excesses of dead white males; subject to revisionist history.

Sassy Dewy


Anonymous said...

Excellent update, Doug.

Monument: In Washington, even the most magnificent of these to a dead politician will cost less than the guy did when he was alive.

Charlene Amsden said...

Al -- hysterically funny, sadly true, and the rest of us can go home now because no one is topping that!

Anonymous said...

Monument: symbolic erections honoring the accomplishments and/or aspirations of Mankind. [see also: Washington's Monument -- WTF??]

Anonymous said...

d'oh! guess that definition was for Monuments...

also, Al? too too funny. Quilly? sorry, i posted my comment before i read yours. i'll go home now : )

Charlene Amsden said...

Puppy -- we posted at the same time. You couldn't have read mine first! Besides, I loved the gause monument comment. However, thanks to Al, we may as well both go home.

[wait, I AM home ...]

Charlene Amsden said...

Ok -- I have to post this because the word verififer is doing definitions, too:

tabugya -- why monuments are built

mireille said...

speaking of Mt. Rushmore, they are recasting it to honor Harding, Hoover, Bush and Nixon ... honest. I saw a picture of it in the New Yorker.

Anonymous said...

I didn't mean it to be funny. I was thinking about my taxes this year when I spotted Doug's word. That comment just popped up outta nowhere -- like an audit.

Its okay to go home. But, before you do, be sure to leave a little monu(com)ment here.

And, Mireille, which issue? Sounds like a keeper.

Anonymous said...

Monument: The roadside plaques honoring past battlefields. Now paved over with the modern equivalent; the filling station/food mart.

Anonymous said...

I say nobody goes home, everyone is witty and charming, but I do especially like Puppy's monument of gauze.

Now mine? I'm going home now. Well actually I am home which I will blame on my inability to think with two squabbling kids. Bye for now.

Doug The Una said...

Good definition, O Ceallaigh and what better monument is there to Minka than that when she isn't first we all assume she fell into a volcano?

Karma, I missed you and your verifiers. Still brilliant.

Minka, that was a really good definition. Bierce would be proud. And I'm glad you didn't break your typing thumb.

Quill, never let the truth get in the way of a good history,

Puppybrose, the gift for poetically using the word bulls**t is given to so very few, although poetry made of bulls**t is cheaper than a snapped finger.

Dewy, its why we have chisels, after all.

Al, that was subtle and true. Well done. Belongs on a plaque.

Quill, stick around, but I agree with the rest of your comment.

Funny, puppybrose. The monuments of the future will be blue.

Good use of the verifier, Quill. It's also why newspapers are black and white and red all over.

Mireille, that's funny. See Puppybrose's first definition for materials.

Tough hooey, Cheesesteak. That was a good one.

Brian, this word is really bringing out the wits. There will be no monuments to blog battles, but that was another fine definition.

G, remember if you arm one you should arm both. A free preview of my upcoming "The Bachelor's Book of Parenting Principles."

Omnipotent Poobah said...

monument - A sarcophagus for the egotistical.

Jamie Dawn said...

Douglas: If you croak before I do, I promise to erect a fitting monument in your honor. If I bite the dust first, I expect you to do the same on my behalf.
"Jamie Dawn" must be in solid gold letters at least four inches high, so you might want to start raising funds for the project now.
For yours, I will have a paw print displayed in cement, and I would be more than happy to paint it gold.

Anonymous said...

Jamie Dawn -- if Doug croaks first, just scratch "Doug Pascover" into the cement above Lassie's paw print on the sidewalk in Hollywood. You'll save a fortune.

Anonymous said...

The Post-It note of the collective consciousness.

Charlene Amsden said...

Doug, I see you are in touch with your feminie side today -- twisting my own words and using them to mack me. Nicely done.

TLP said...

Al is truly witty today. Whatcha smokin' Al, and can I have a toke?

1.Monument is a Valley in Utah.

2. Mon You Meant...: South African explaining to you, what it was that you were talking about.

kiwlhp: o'kay, I will help with Doug's tombstone, monument, whatever.

Charlene Amsden said...

Erg! Now you can mock my spelling, too!

TLP said...

Doug! You are macking Quilly!!!!???? WTF? This was supposed to be a PG13 blog.

TLP said...

Oh. Sorry Quilly. And Doug! It's all good. Smoke if you got'em.

Doug The Una said...

Poobah, that makes a sarcastigophagus.

No need for paint, Jamie Dawn. I trust my ashes to shine.

Al, I am no cross-dresser, thank you.

Haha, Diesel. And the white-out.

Quill, at least I didn't let you chicken out.

TLP, are you sure that shouldn't be Arizona?

Quill, I just maght.

TLP, I smoke 'em when ain't got 'em, too.

TLP said...

Actually, when Niks and I were in Monument Valley we got caught in a big dust storm. I think we were in Utah. But, of course, you are correct, it is in both Utah and Arizona. Your intelligence is your monument. That smoke is comin' outta yer ears. Don't think so hard!

dntmkcuvr: Don't make me come over there.

Anonymous said...

A monument to how much free time I've got.

Anonymous said...

Hey, TLP -- I'm sleep deprived and high as a kite on cheesecake. Ask anybody. That's when I'm at my best.

Anonymous said...

I'm last! I'm last probably. Well nobody ever says that

Monument: what the person who currently calls himself president should be

On a personal and highly dramatic note: what I'm frigging beginning to feel like the blogosphere

Anonymous said...

monument: guided recollection

uokcoj: on our knees his coyotes want us

Anonymous said...


Doug The Una said...

Some monument, TLP. A castle made of wind.

Welcome, Malnurtured. That's a better monument and a worthy idle.

Pia, Courting Destiny is the Church of Blogging and Waking Ambrose is a gargoyle.

Ariel, long time no see. Good definition and a splendid use of the verifier, once again.

Alana said...

Our monuments provide further evidence that we live in a patriarchal society.

Anonymous said...

I'm just here to wish you Doug a very happy new year. You never stop by my blog nowadays :( WHY?? I have a new fictional blog but I won't tell you anything about it until I read you on my blog :P

Anonymous said...

I missed Miz B's monumental guest spot!!! I'm livid!! Livid, I say!!!

The wonderful definitions and comments here are like--well, like pigeons on a monument.

Bravo, everyone--I've enjoyed reading these:)

Anonymous said...

I have to admit, I'm a tad concerned on what kind of monument Doug would have built for me. It would, of course, have to be super-fantabulous...kinda like all these definitions.

I'm too tired to be this witty so I will bask in the glow of everyone else's wittiness.

Anonymous said...

Doug, you are a monument among pebbles.

Doug The Una said...

I don't know, Squaregirl. The Lincoln Memorial could have been designed by Georgia O'Keefe.

Thanks, Sophisticated. I was by today. You have a grand New Year and 365 days of writing you're proud of.

Haha, Actonbell. The pigeon is the final sculptor.

Well, Jenna, it would be all ground floor.

Alice, when pebbles learn to worship, I'll be in the big time.

Jamie Dawn said...

I came back to see if our monument deal is sealed.
I feel assured that it is.

Al's comment and your response gave me chuckle.

Anonymous said...

Attributed to Greta Garbo:
"I am a monument. A monument does nothing. It just sits there."

Doug The Una said...

Jamie Dawn, I'm already saving up.

Cheesemeister, that's the fast way.