Monday, July 02, 2007


READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.
We know by one's reading
His learning and breeding;
By what draws his laughter
We know his Hereafter.
Read nothing, laugh never —
The Sphinx was less clever!
—Jupiter Muke

2007 Update: The balance of what one has read, is to read or claims knowledge of. In essence a combined literary savings and credit account in which the balances connote, rather than material wealth, intellectual authority, moral superiority and the tendency to drink.

I'll be traveling this week so posting times may be less regular than the regular irregularity.


Anonymous said...

What? (looks around for a pesky Penguin) I first (again)?

Anonymous said...

Reading: 1. The large and growing library of information on which feeds our society's small and shrinking body of knowledge and wisdom; 2. The secondary source of the illusion that we're smarter than our parents, the primary being television.

Minka said...

reading: moving ones eyes quickly from left to right, stringing letters together into words and words into sentences, sentences into chapters and realize that you stopped thinking at word two. Repeat from the top!

safe travels!

Anonymous said...

Reading: activity designed to stimulate brain cells and/or put them to sleep.

hope you enjoy safe/hassle-free travels, Doug. maybe you'll be able to enjoy a good book or two while you're away. assuming you aren't anywhere near a pesky 2 year-old, that just might happen! ; )

Tom & Icy said...

I read with my nose, sniff sniff! And after reading the weeds I do get thirsty.

Unknown said...

1. people regularly read what i write, when i write regularly. if i'm irregular, they think it's regular not to be reading what i don't write regularly

2. i thought Reading was a place in the UK, until i discovered Ambrose

ngheh: not good, heh

Anonymous said...

reading soon to be part of my daily life again. The traveling is almost at an end for at least several weeks. Yay!

TLP said...

Reading: what they make you listen to before the Sunday sermon. Usage: the reading for today is taken from the Gospel of Matthew. If you're as saintly as I am, you can just skip that part and start listening later. Much later.

tthubyy: spouse with a lisp.

Anonymous said...

and writing and rithmatic...

Sounds so intriguing - "I'll be traveling this week...". Safe travels.

Doug The Una said...

Joel, I think maybe the time has come to worry a little.

Applause, Al. I wish I'd written the first one. Both are terrific, pal.

Minka, I was reading Terry Pratchett just that way just yesterday. Danke, und du auch.

Thanks, Neva. It's another red-eye, so I'm betting on the 2-year-old seatmate. I think they use them for Air Marshals on the red-eye.

See, Icy? Part of the travel plans involve Willie and Walela coming to work with me this morning. Willie and Lela read the grass in front of the church next door and then slaked their thirst at the corporate toilet. I usually just use it for good ideas.

Karma, and I thought it was a square on a monopoly board. I read you regularly even when you post irregularly.

Welcome home, Quill.

TLP, you start listening when they say "wake up it's time to go?"

G, if I had said "I'll be traveling to southern Indiana this week" would it still sound intriguing?

Indeterminacy said...

Reading: the opposite of blogging.

Anonymous said...

Even more so.

TLP said...

Indiana? Dang! What a sexy place! Now I'm intrigued.

(I can never sleep in church. I've tried. Too much talkin' goin' on.)

dddragon said...

Reading: what I'm never caught up with (except the Harry Potter books, all of which I've read three times each)

dddragon said...

oh, also a town in Pennsylvania full of (now) fake factory outlet stores.

Anonymous said...

3D: speaking Pennsylvania (Philadelphia, to be exact):

Reading: 1/4 of a choice railroad monopoly in a board game -- 1/2 of a choice railroad monopoly in real life*
*(until 2000, that is, when, ironically, the last of the company's choice real estate was sold off.)

just sayin'... ; )

Unknown said...

Reading, n. At a Catholic Mass, one of three passages read during the Liturgy of the Word; the first being from the Old Testament, the second from the New Testament, and the third from the fundraising committee of the church building fund.

Doug The Una said...

Indie, that's just real true.

G, and TLP of course. You think of Indiana you think of femmes fatales in bikinis. Real big ones. With huge hair.

Dddragon, maybe you need to buy books on vacuum?

Neva, I did not know that.

Thanks, Actonbell. Another pen name.

a4g, 1000 points.

Jamie Dawn said...

It's one of the three educational staples:

Reading, Whining, & Rythmic Gymnastics.

Happy travels!!

Anonymous said...

Traveling? I'm jealous.

Reading: That I can do it once again makes me happy.

TLP said...

A4G: Wonderful. *I bow.*

Sar said...

Reading: the stationary portal to an exuisite respite.

Doug The Una said...

That's a good'un, JD. And thanks.

Cooper, you're the jet-setter here. It's not like I'm going to New Zealand or Costa Rica.

I agree, TLP.

Sar, in this time and this world, nothing moves you quite like sitting still.

Anonymous said...