Friday, July 04, 2008


IMPORTER, n.  One of a class of miscreants whose business received from tariff legislation "the protection which vultures give to lambs."

2008 Update: A sanctioned thief who despicably extracts profit from the appetites of his countrymen and the avarice of foreign laborers.  Also, a patriot who gleans the labor from the immigrant at the border. 

To my naturalized, unnaturalized or unnatural American friends, happy Independence Day.


Unknown said...

to us, it means outsourcing. now don't get touchy, enjoy your freedom :P

Anonymous said...

importer - Oned who bestows the coveted VIP title upon the undeserving.

BTW, Happy July 4 to one and all, even if they aren't Americans.

Cooper said...

Happy Independence Day to you.

Eat not the seed of the watermelon, or the skin of the hot dog.

You definition was delightful.

Anonymous said...

I know Im. He's the night porter at the mall. He spends the entire evening restocking the shelves so the American public can rush in the next day and run up their charge cards on the unnecessary doodahs that give meaning and value to living in the land of plenty.

mireille said...

Happy Independence Day, all! xoxo

tsduff said...

I saw on the weather channel your present rainy existence. Can't think of a single 4th of July I ever spent in the rain... Does that mean you don't get any fireworks?

I was an importer of Icelandic hotdogs and smoked lamb - now it's time to celebrate. Happy Independence Day Doug.

Anonymous said...

If importers should put up billboards advertising their wares, does that make them impostors?

Happy Independence Day - even if that day is an impostor. We should oughta be celebrating Independence either on July 2nd (the day the Declaration was approved by the Continental Congress) or August 2nd, when John Hancock et al. signed the formal document.

We will be playing suitable songs in downtown Honolulu. May we be granted intonation for a change.

TLP said...

Importer. A boat that stays home.

Happy 4th to us all.
How about we celebrate it from July 2nd through August 2nd? Does that work for you Amoeba?

javajazz said...

happy Independance Day, sir
imported from Canada...

Minka said...

acton, it is important to import your worst stuff. No one nation can endure a Britney, Paris or Lindsey all on their own...misery does love company. And that's why Canada will always support your independence on the 4th of July... made them get rid of Celine ;)

Have a great one all you braves!

Ariel the Thief said...

Happy Independence Day! I like the jeans, actually. :-)

Doug The Una said...

Yeah, Actonbell, I think you should maybe check the labels. We export other people's worse stuff.

Karma, I'm not touchy. Mangia!

Thank you, Poobah. Yes, everyone should enjoy the holiday whether foreign or domestic Americans. (Nice definition, too, dude.)

Cooper, eat not the tofu in form of sausage. Hope you had a good one.

Quilly, maybe visual puns?

And to you, Mireille.

Terry, I've spent probably every fourth of July for decades here and rainy and cool is fine with me. The only alternative seems to be hotter'n hell and more humid than heaven.

Aneural patriot, The important thing is to have a day to remember that we can love our country without liking our neighbors.

TLP, that would be too long to spend in Indiana, frankly.

Fair trade, JJ. Thank you.

Thanks, Minka. We frees had a pretty good time.

Ariel, enjoy and wash them!