Tuesday, July 29, 2008


ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude — a privation appealing with a particular eloquence to all that is sympathetic in human nature. When young the orphan is commonly sent to an asylum, where by careful cultivation of its rudimentary sense of locality it is taught to know its place. It is then instructed in the arts of dependence and servitude and eventually turned loose to prey upon the world as a bootblack or scullery maid.

2008 Update: The elect child in office.


Nessa said...

Orphan: An inventor of fast food hamburgers and if he were alive today in CA he'd be out of the pan and into the transfat.

Ariel the Thief said...

Are you still an orphan when you make your own child?

Jamie Dawn said...

Orphan: Not only "Who's your daddy?" but "Who's your mommy?" too, also, in addition, as well.

My dad always told us he wanted us to marry and orphan so he & mom would not have to share their grandkids with anyone. Jason is still looking for one, and I rebelled and married a guy with a family.

Jim said...

Orphan: Technically I'm one, at least my mother and father have both died.

Orphan: My 1974 Mustang II (look for it on my blog) is an orphan car. It is so hard to get parts for and most of its parents and siblings are long gone.

Orphan: I was thinking 'Clark Kent' for that orpan red red phone booth my daughter is calling from today (my blog again).

Orpan: My kids may soon be ones if I don't quit pushing my blog over here. Is there such a thing as blog rage? Mr. Doug would know.

Jim said...

Orphan: Yes, I'll answer my own question, there are about 6,780 per Google.

TLP said...

I've been careless. Sorry.

Unknown said...

this is not a good word, so i'll be orph and away

ihbib: catcher of intensely hot food

Anonymous said...



"Are you an orphan?"


"I said, 'are you an orphan?'"

"Oar fan? You seen something on X games that I ain't, dude?"

"No, dude! I'm asking if you're an only child!"

"Dude, that's hurtin'. I'm all growed up!"

"Really? Coulda fooled me. If ever there was a dude who needed a paddlin' ..."

"You and what army, dude?"

"Go back to bed, dude."

mireille said...

Orphelin, i.e., Madeline. xoxo

Anonymous said...


Poor Annie. Except for Punjab, everyone's forgotten that she's everyone's favorite orphan.

ut oh... OC is into paddling. Someone, quick. Go warn Quilly. Send him down into the coal mines. There, he might just find an ore fan with which to paddle a dude.


Anonymous said...

The sun'll come out
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!

Just thinkin' about
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!

When I'm stuck with a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,

The sun'll come out
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!

Anonymous said...

Are you alright with all the whole lotta shaking going on?

I don't want to be a Waking Ambrose orphan.

Nessa said...

Yeah, speak up Mr. D so we know we are not orphans.

Did you ever see The Advocate? I just joined NetFlix and put it in my queue.

Cooper said...


Doug The Una said...

True, Nessa. You can't boil a frog in a deep fat fryer, as my daddy always told me.

Ariel, I have no idea.

JD, that sounds like something my dad would say, too.

Actonbell, do you have all of The Importance Of Being Earnest committed to memory? I think I'll reread that.

Jim, there is. I'm not sure there's such a thing as blog peace. (Try a 1961 IHC L112, by the way.)

TLP, it took awhile, though.

Orphagonally, K?

Amoeba, the dudes will never be orphans as long as they have the family of other voices in your head.

Mireille, you have every one of those books, don't you?

Ore fan, Sauerkraut! You've outone yourself.

Shall, the Amoeba can answer that question better than I.

Cooper, nice of you to ask. It was a pretty mild earthquake and, actually, I was in Oakland when it happened.

Nessa, it's in my queue but hasn't come. And you shouldn't worry about me and earthquakes. I am as one with the stones.

Howdy, Coop. Sorry for the late commenting.

mireille said...

Actually, Doug, I do. xoxo

Anonymous said...

The Pirates of Penzance are my favorite orphans. They are all noble men, who have gone wrong, and they don't do well as pirates because their noble sympathies won't let them victimize fellow orphans, so all of their wouldbe prey allege orphan status.