Monday, May 04, 2009


UNCTION, n. An oiling, or greasing. The rite of extreme unction consists in touching with oil consecrated by a bishop several parts of the body of one engaged in dying. Marbury relates that after the rite had been administered to a certain wicked English nobleman it was discovered that the oil had not been properly consecrated and no other could be obtained. When informed of this the sick man said in anger: "Then I'll be damned if I die!"

"My son," said the priest, "this is what we fear."

2009 Update: A healing touch with blessed oil, as of Iraq.


TLP said...

Oh, Douglas, sweet one, you have done so well with this word. Truly a marvelous definition! You are just the smartest, the best, the ultimate in wordsmithery.


(Oh, sh*t, were are my boots and shovel?)

pia said...

Agree with TLP. Nothing I can say can top that.

Back home tomorrow night. Have been in NY too long

sauerkraut said...

unction, puncheon, what's your function?

A bit of holy midnight oil sure would make that schoolhouse rock...

As for Iraq... I am sure there is no blessed indulgence there.

Tom & Icy said...

I could use a good lube job so I can go sin some more.

the amoeba said...

UNCTION, n. The forgotten part of Christian communion, which should consist of olive oil for the bread. Forgotten, because, if the early Christians had known aught of human physiology, they would have realized that the Last Summer consisted of the body, the blood, and the lymph.

Where is Soapy Sam when we need him?

(All that work and I didn't come close to the quality of your definition, Doug.)

Jamie Dawn said...

unction: Function without the f.

quilly said...

Well, I can't top your play, so I am taking my toys and going home. Pft.

Nessa said...

Some people need unction to grease their way through the pearly gates otherwise they'd never squeeze through.

Great update, Doug.

Jim said...

when i get the unction things get happinin', even here in Brugge, Belgium.

Cooper said...

You win with this definition.

"Extreme unction" sounds like it might be dangerous.

TLP said...

Happy Cinco de Mayo.

Doug The Una said...

TLP, I feel so annointed.

Pia you mean before or after you moved?

Sauerkraut, I'm a huge fan of Schoolhouse Rocks and yet, only a bill.

Icy, I bet there's an oil spot on the driveway.

Amoeba, it's funny that that seems gross after regularly dining on the blood and body.

JD, right or nction with you.

Quilly, you did well with your toys.

Nessa, is that how a camel gets through the eye of the needle?

Jim, you're in Brusges?

It is Cooper, the mortality rates are off the chart.

Always with feeling, A-bell and 35 years later still by heart.

Felicidades, TLP.

weirsdo said...

Defining quality of campaigning politicians and other scam artists.