Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, August 21, 2009
NOVEMBER, n. The eleventh twelfth of a weariness.
2009 Update: The month in which young men's thoughts turn to spring, and to which old men's thoughts turn in April.
Spring and April are girls' names, right? Former girlfriends?
November is my birthday month, giving it a misery index of just about 68%.
But at least I'm first. And second.
Doug, you are right for over half of the world. And Spring and April can also be 'girls.'
We in the other half are enjoying the last month of everyday top-down weather until March.
And don't anyone tell me it's top-down weather every day of the year in Hawaii or the Caribbean, by noon it is top-up and A/C on weather every day.
so was that
or the annual
migration to the
as for the november of our
think you can have a
and yet a
fifty year mind,
as is travel...
as it is said
kick those ovaries/balls
in high gear
and engage the world
eyes wide open
"What's a vember, dude?"
"Don't know, dude. Tell me why I care."
"You gotta have some of it before you can have none, don't you?"
"Nitwit. November is the eleventh month."
"No, that's September."
"Dude, are you going to come with me to the nut house quietly, or do I have to stun you?"
"Hold the phaser setting and listen. Sept is seven, oct is eight, novem is nine, decem is ten. November is the ninth month. Danged if I know what's new about the ninth month ..."
"That's when the baby's due."
"You're having a baby?!?"
"I'm having a cow, dude. By now, so's the Dawg, I reckon. Say Happy Birthday to Hawai‘i, dude."
"'Happy Birthday to Hawai‘i, dude.'"
Love your definition.
I have a view of the nearby creek for several days in November so I can honestly say I have a water view. Might be in December too--wasn't spending time here as it was so depressing
November 12th is our 26 anniversary. I guess I really am as old as my kids say I am.
I like November because I like the build up of the holiday season. Our Hobby Lobby in town already has Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas decor for sale. It's a bit ridiculous, but I was tempted to buy some stuff. I refrained from temptation, hallelujah, amen!
I will catch up on the weekend story before too long. Things have been hectic. Trial is next Wed, Thurs. Fri... then we take Courtney back to school after that. We also have a court appearance on Monday afternoon. I like our judge so far, so I hope he cuts through some of the BS and rules in our favor that day. So far, he's ruled 100% in our favor, so he gets a gold star in my book.
I hope all is well in your world these days.
Take care and always eat well.
:-) November will be here before we know it.
Oh, so that's where the Dudes have gotten to. Please feel free to keep them until November.
to me the definition of november is:
1.nancy makes money. 2. the weather becomes normal again.
i cannot wait until november!
Quite honestly, this is the most ridiculous group of commenters on any blog I have EVER seen in my life! I mean really - I hesitate to comment at all.
to quote lina lamont:
"am i dumb or something?"
"Gee, this wig weighs a ton! What dope'd wear a thing like this?"
Lina: Oh Donny! You couldn't kiss me like that and not mean it just a teensy bit!
Don Lockwood: Meet the greatest actor in the world! I'd rather kiss a tarantula.
Let's all just trash the place. Where the heck is that dawg?
Spring, TLP? Really? I don't remember her.
Jenn, you're thinking like an old man. Go enjoy August.
Here, too, Jim. I'm rarely priggish about LA weather.
Happy birthday to Hawai'i, Amoeba and invisible friends.
Pia, you still kind of think like a Manhattanite, don't you? Every day writing your real estate ad.
Good luck with the trial, JD. Waking Ambrose will wait for your return, semi-patiently.
Quilly, I found them in a box.
Tilden, welcome. The next time you show up, will ir be as H.P. Lovestinks?
Anonymous, I think it's safe until you give out a name.
Another family trait, Tilden: Making me google.
TLP, I'm here and your beer bong is empty.
How can I enjoy August when you've thrown November at me? -sigh-
I know, Jenn. I regret that now.
As I was unable to comment last Friday due to being without a connection until the late hours of the night) I will now speak my comment with much aplomb: November is a very good month - one in which Mark Twain, Billy Idol, TLP and Myself (among others) were birthed.
You forgot to answer the Bear - whom also forgot what an important month November really is.
You forgot Bahaullah.
And bear, that was a nice non-gender-specific way of involving the gonads.
So you're saying April is not as cruel as November?
Weirsdo, I'm saying that the months merge after awhile.
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