Abattoir

ABATTOIR, n. A place where cattle slaughter kine. It is commonly placed at some distance from the haunts of our species, in order that they who devour the flesh nay not be shocked by the sight of blood.

2007 Update: In the United States, an edifice of civilization and wisdom where immigrant labor is valued above native grazers.

Shahrazade's Wedding, Part XI

"The Beowulf of Wedding Planning" -Actonbell

To hear a story, ask for directions.




And thank you all for your patience.








If you want to read the story, come to the Zambezi estuary.

Outcome

OUTCOME, n. A particular type of disappointment. By the kind of intelligence that sees in an exception a proof of the rule the wisdom of an act is judged by the outcome, the result. This is immortal nonsense; the wisdom of an act is to be judged by the light that the doer had when he performed it.

2007 Update:  Any occurrence that causes counting.

Overwork

OVERWORK, n.  A dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.

2007 Update:  An agonizing stress upon the carpal tunnel, sciatic structure, kiester or vocal chords due to the application of effort in excess of 2.2 foot-pound-hours per joule of complaint or carat of compliment.  Insufficient overpayment.

Boxing Day

Now the toys are all broken and the gift cards forgotten.

The little ones' spirits have soared then grown rotten.

The men have all congratulated each other

For choosing the perfect tree to bring the wrong mother.

The women now glow with the light spirits bring

To those who raise glasses instead of their offspring.

Though the the family be tattered and righteousness faded

Each dawn smiles a new Christmas on the grouchy and jaded.

REJUVENATE, v.  To corrupt next door.

Optimism

OPTIMISM, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with the grin that apes a smile. Being a blind faith, it is inaccessible to the light of disproof — an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

2007 Update:  Fatalism with lowered expectations.

Merry Christmas* to all, and may all your Christmas wishes be granted modestly.

*To those who may be uncomfortable with Christmas and Christmas blessings, I wish a day of holiness and rich blessing appropriate to your own faith or rationale, in the spirit of Christmas.

Obsolete

OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer, but if it is a good word and has no exact modern equivalent equally good, it is good enough for the good writer. Indeed, a writer's attitude toward "obsolete" words is as true a measure of his literary ability as anything except the character of his work. A dictionary of obsolete and obsolescent words would not only be singularly rich in strong and sweet parts of speech; it would add large possessions to the vocabulary of every competent writer who might not happen to be a competent reader.

2007 Update:  Able to inspire hope in the aged or love in an engineer.

Shahrazade's Wedding, Part X

"The Beowulf of Wedding Planning" -Actonbell

To hear the story, consult your neighborhood seamonster.














If you want to read the story, please wear your personal floatation device.

Ramshackle

RAMSHACKLE, adj. Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as the Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are of the Ramshackle order, though some of our earlier architects preferred the Ironic. Recent additions to the White House in Washington are Theo-Doric, the ecclesiastic order of the Dorians. They are exceedingly fine and cost one hundred dollars a brick.

2007 Update: In the fashion of every pious scold's childhood home and each bon vivant's current night's lodging.

N.B.  The magnificent Jenn is finding hotel deals for Chicago in March and posting them in the comments at Barncrawling.

Recollect

RECOLLECT, v. To recall with additions something not previously known.

2007 Update:  To re-harvest a field, hoping for a taller crop.