Monday, January 29, 2007

Kangaroo

KANGAROO, n. An unconventional kind of animal which in shape is farther than any other from being the square of its base. It is assisted in jumping by its tail (which makes very good soup) and when it has happened to alight on the surprised Australian it is usually observable that his skin is unbuttoned from the neck downward and he carries his bowels in his arms.

2007 Update: A reverse pachyderm of the southern hemisphere designed to demonstrate the coriolis effect. The kangaroo demonstrates the intelligent hand behind the origin of species, as had it evolved in Kansas rather than Australia, the kangaroo likely would have entered politics rather than pugilism.

A joke heard in central Queensland: A man who had grown up alone in the outback sent to Sydney for a wife. When the woman arrived she found an empty house with furniture placed outside in front. She asked the man why he didn't live in his house and he replied "I put the furniture outside this morning. If you're anything like a kangaroo, I figure we'll need plenty of floorspace."

40 comments:

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Good joke.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Holy herbivorous leaping marsupials! I was first!

the said...

KANGAROO, n. An accomplished, veteran Australian. Frequently accompanied by his diminutive, worshipful sidekick, the wannabie. No, wait, that's wallabie. Damn.

Did you know that the genus name for the most familiar form of the kangaroo is Macropus? That's right, Bigfoot. And you thought they came from Seattle.

quilldancer said...

Uhm -- part of that joke is missing ....

Sorry, the only Kangaroo I know is Captain.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

kangaroo - An animal consisting of one part "kanga" (similar to the game Jenga), and one part roo
meaning huge humping legs in Aussie slag. Often seen kicking over small piles of sticks.

puppybrose said...

well, Quilly beat me to the "Captain Kangaroo" punch -- the only other one i can think of (at the moment) is a 'Roo' who's friends with a 'Pooh'.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

Here's a story about them too:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/01/25/australia.fossils.reut/index.html

quilldancer said...

Oh! Thank you, puppy!

Why was Kanga staring in the toilet?


He was looking for Pooh!


Hey, I hang out with 10 year-olds, whaddya want?

Anonymous said...

What ailment do kangaroo who sit for long periods suffer?

Hemmoroo-oids!



Best I can do for a Monday morning. :+)

Minka said...

hey, that´s Joey!

ok, you started it so here goes another joke :

"What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson after solving the case of the missing kangaroo?
"It was roo-dimentary, Watson."

Minka said...

I am still giggling. It´s the little things in life that make a Monday speak up for itself!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

No one has mentioned a Kangaroo Court. Or did I just?

puppybrose said...

What do you call a kangaroo who greets female roos with raised eyebrows and a wagging cigar?

"Poucho Marx."

i know, i know... that's the most roo-diculous thing you've ever hoid.

Anonymous said...

It is my considered opinion that you lot are just plain SILLY.
And I luff it!!
Perfect for a Monday, hope everyone has a GREAT week.
Toodles

Anonymous said...

Other than its kangarooish qualities, I have no smarty-pants comment to add.
As a child I had a soft stuffed koala that had been imported from Australia. I was horrified to find out later on that it was made from kangaroo fur!

Doug said...

Well done, TLP!

OC, who knew an article could hold so much information?

Quilly, I guess it's hard for a Sunday school teacher to fill in.

Poobah, or stacks of 'stralians, I guess. The link didn't work for me.

Puppy, that's one of the best ones, anyway.

Quilly, thanks for the homily.

Karen, it'll do for Monday.

Minka, that is good for a Monday morning chuckle.

TLP, bing*bing*bing

Puppy, thanks for bringing it up a notch.

You too, Logo. Makes sure the things do their homeswork.

Cheesemeister, I guess that's better than making out of kangaroo lips.

Joel said...

Kangaroo = Joey = my nickname growing up

Mutha said...

Hey Cheese! I had the same stuffed animal and same reaction.

The thing about Kangaroos that comes to my mind is how strong and -- from what I've heard -- fierce they can be. I mean look at that picture in the post...he looks as if he wants to kick everybody's....roo.

This is of course ironic considering its playful, fun, and even maternal (see Kanga) cartoon image.

Anonymous said...

Bierce's is hysterical. glad i hopped across

cj said...

Kangaroo Those nifty tennis shoes with zippers and pockets on the side ... I had them in elementary school and THAT is where I kept my lunch tickets. They were white and pink of course....

:) true story.

Mutha said...

Man CJ -- I want a pair ight now. No pink tho...do they come in black?

cj said...

Actually Mutha, I saw them at the mall not too long ago and thought "Gee those were so cool then!!" And they had a big variety of them.... I'd hurry up and get yourself to the mall to snatch up a pair. :)

Anonymous said...

I used to like those balls you would hop on...what the heck were they called? That sounded bad I guess, but it reminded me of being a kangaroo when you would sit and hop around.

Puppy - good one.

Anonymous said...

Knock-knock.....

Roo's there?

(Awful, I know - lame even. But no one else has said it!) D

Anonymous said...

Mutters to self:

Captain Kangaroo: That Quilly again.

Kanga & Roo: Curses - that Puppy.

Jokes? None involving Kangaroos.

Bah...I'm going to back to bed.

Anonymous said...

It was a hoppity hop! I think.

Anonymous said...

I've had kangaroo tail soup ... it was good. Glad it didn't punch back.

Kangaroo: the creature that Sylvester the Cat thought was a giant mouse.

Jamie Dawn said...

EEeeeww to that funny joke!

"A reverse pachyderm" - brilliant, simply brilliant!
Sometimes you really outdo yourself. This is one of those times. I was humored and awestruck all at once.
Well done!

This earworm will be with me for the remainder of the day. Thanks, Doug.

" A donkey named Eeyore is his friend, and Kanga and little Roo, There's Rabbit and Piglet and there's Owl - But most of all Winnie the Pooh."
EVERYbody sing!
"Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, chubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff he's Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, willy-nilly, silly ole bear."

Uh... what was the word again?

Doug said...

Joel, I imagine you were quite the little hopper.

Mutha, I chose that picture from among the many on Google images because he just looks so curmudgeonly.

Glad you did, too, Karma. I think Bierce invented pythagorean biology.

CJ, I had no idea there was any such animal.

Yeah, G, it sounded bad but I remember the ones you mean. Completely innocent, at least in the bars I've been to.

Diane, you know what a fan I am of the knock knock joke.

Jenna, some days you just hate to get out of the pouch.

Dddragon, good to have our cartoon archivist back in the mix. Especially today.

Thanks, Jamie Dawn. That means a lot, especially since this morning I spent ten minutes staring at the screen and thinking "I've got nothing." The word for the day was TIGGER, n. A terrible cat.

Jamie Dawn said...

"The wonderful thing about Tigger is Tiggers are wonderful things. Their tops are made out of rubber; their bottoms are made out of springs..."

I realize I watched too many videos/movies as a kid, and i watched too many with my kids when they were growing up. I challenge anyone to beat me in Disney Trivia! :)

Douglas, you saved the day over at my smut-free blog.
When I changed "muck" to "mock," I felt sure I was in safe territory, but of course YOUR mind saw that the situation could have turned tawdry.

Mutha said...

Thanks Triple-D. I've been trying to remember which cartoon had an over-sized mouse posing as a kangaroo OR a kangaroo mistaken for an over-sized mouse.
Ah yes, Sylvester ol' pal.

So Doug...any brushes with the curmudgeonly species while down-under?

Mutha said...

And while we are on the subject of beasts...I have always wanted to ask: what is that little critter next to the title Waking Ambrose?

Just another Pouch Potato said...

What do you call a kangaroo that doesn't get out much?
A pouch potato.

Anonymous said...

I thought both definitions were fantastic! and cj, I had those, too, in purple and white. I wish that Saucony, Assics, and Nike would start making wallabie wannabies, too--great place for a house key:)

I don't have anything to add, obviously. Happy Monday!

Anonymous said...

I've never been attracted much to that sort of marsupial - they aren't very friendly and besides, they hit. Tiggers are more fun. I used to have some cool shoes that were Wallabies.

That little critter, is a much more interesting little white doggy named Icy.

Anonymous said...

(my best guess)

Doug said...

JD, for that talent, I credit clean living.

Mutha, I had many close encounters with kangaroos but no fights, and no card games. That is a coyote pup in my backyard.

Nice pun, TLP. From a grouch potato.

Actonbell, so does a doorlock but you don't see me wearing one of those. (Gosh I hope you're drunk before you read this.)

Terry, you may be right, but that would be an odd name for a coyote :)

cindra said...

I had no idea I'd things were so silly over here today. Glad I hopped over.
har har

Anonymous said...

Yay evirybody is talking about Winny the Pooh and Kanga. that is my favrit book of literiture i like it beter than all this Ambrows Bearce defanishuns for words i never herd of.

- The S.A.C.A.D.A. Kid

Doug said...

Cindra, there's just something about a kangaroo. Glad you hopped by, too.

Hear, hear, SACADA kid.