Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Special Guest Vamp

This week my special guest is, once again, the little blue pill, Jenna Howard. Jenna was asked to define Sparkle.

SPARKLE, v.i. When Doug gave me the word Sparkle I had to sigh. What kind of naughty word is Sparkle? I have a reputation to uphold around here. But then I thought about it and I decided that I could work with this word. Really. Watch me.

According to my handy dandy dictionary widget, Sparkle means "shine brightly with flashes of light". So to make your world sparkly, pick up a flashlight and flash it across your eyes repeatedly and when you look'll see bright flashes of light. Go on...try it. I can wait. Now if you don't have a flashlight you can stare into a light but that's not nearly as much fun.

Moving on...

Sparkle is one of those effervescent words that can be used to describe champagne (sparkling wine), gingerale (Canada Dry is the champagne of ginger ale dontcha know) to my princess crown to disco balls (waaaay before my time) to the Kabuki Guns Burlesque dancers who actually sell sparkly red powder that you can put on your lips so that you to can have the sparkly lips of a burlesque dancer. I nearly bought the kit but I ran out of money so I'll just have to make do with my avatar (I'd tell you how I came to almost buy the lips of a burlesque dancer but...oh blog. Sorry!) to, well, me!!

And really once you reach me in the list of sparkly items you can't top it so...shine on my friends. Shine on.

See...told I could smut up the word sparkle. It's a gift.

About Jenna Howard: Jenna is the author of Afterthoughts, which is back in circulation after a hiatus that lasted, say, a month. She is also the author of several short stories, the titles of which are appropriate for your child in his/her late teens or twenties. Her writing is excellent, but before you read one of her stories you need the maturity to understand that lines like that don't actually work that quickly in real life. You can find out about her books, available for download at a price their characters would understand at Jenna's professional site.

Now, Waking Ambrose is not some tabloid filled with racy content, gossip and scandal but literature, nourishment for a life of the mind. Nonetheless, Jenna is the revered Little Blue Pill and for her sake, this week's guest post includes the following lurid dish of dirt: Jenna Howard may be the most wholesome of us all. She is sweet. She is shy. She takes care of her young nephew and feels better after. Yes, folks, you heard it here first and I'll have photos of her in hot scrabble action to back up my claim if the papparazzi I sent is found alive.

Now, if you're feeling a little disturbed and need to get right, try coffee and some of Jenna's fiction here. Jenna's first guest post is here. She reigned in this story. It takes a heck of a woman to wear my sister's name and Jenna deserves the honor. Thanks, Jenna, for smutting up SPARKLE, and for all the good times. You know what I mean.

So, who's got next?


Minka said...

Jenna, you make sparkle work through your words. What a delightful way to start the morning.

No write -up? Lazy bugger! Well, I guess some ladies don´t need an introduction aorund here:)

Brian said...

The sparkle of her heart, and flash of her eyes turned many a man's head. ;)

al said...

Hi, Jenna! I tried that "pick up a flashlight and flash it across your eyes repeatedly" thing you suggested. Where can my attorney reach you?

"But, seriously," said the blind touch-typist, "Welcome! Nice, sparkly post!"

QuillDancer said...

Jenna -- you know you didn't have to buy that burlesque dancer's lips, there are men all over this town wearing that stuff for fre ... Oh! Never mind ... [fanning self]

For shame! ;)

Keep sparkling.

Anonymous said...

Jenna the LBP! I've liked her from the moment we had that raucous...err, never mind. Well nobody sparkles quite like Jenna. I did suspect a wholesome quality about her, but I never dared utter the word in her presence.

I'll have to browse around at her place when I'm home. It's bad enough I got caught staring up into the lights at my desk.

Great job Jenna and Doug, always could to get a fresh look into one of our faves.

puppybrose said...

WooHoo! what a treat to see our favorite pair of glittery -- or should i say sparkly -- lips in the WA spotlight again!

Jenna, as a story device, might i suggest "sparkling"? (actually, it's called "sparking" but close enough...) all you need is a pack of Wintergreen Certs, a dark room (or closet) and a companion (otherwise, what's the point?). once in that closet with that companion, bite down on that Cert -- which will cause a sparkle in your mouth, serving a dual purpose: it looks cool and it makes your breath "minty fresh" -- what you and/or your (closeted) companion do from there is anybody's guess...

hey, i didn't say it was the most fantastic thing you'll ever read, but it is cool, it is fun, and it *does* sparkle. much as you have here, today!

FABULOUS FABULOUS FABULOUS post, sweet girl ('cuz yes... i happen to agree with Doug's assessment regarding your true "self") *claps* xox

Joel said...

Excellent post Jenna and I gaze out the window I see, could it be, the sparkle of snow flurries descending upon Central Park. The first such occurrence of the winter I do believe.

Anonymous said...

I'll be back with my sunglasses. Good going, Jenna!

O Ceallaigh said...

Ah yes, that's me Jenna. Sparkle Plenty, babe. ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm going to have to keep coming back to see what else has been added to my bio! (because, y'know, I need an excuse) I should get Doug to write my bio for my publishers. He makes me sparkle!!

Thanks Minka babe!

Brian I've been told I turn it all the way around like that kid in the Exorcist. Then they spew pea soup all over me. Sigh.

Al, your attorney can reach me at 403-Get-Bent. ;)

Quilly, I think I need to come to your town!!

G, this wholesome quality thing just may kill me! Sigh. Douglas.

Puppy: Really? So now I have to find someone to go Certs with me, huh? Okey doke.

Joel it started to snow here this morning too. OH yeah. January. Sweeeeet.

Pauses...takes a deep breath because this is long and rambling! I've hijacked Ambrose!!!

Thanks Karma.

OOoh I'm gonna have to go click now OC!

NOw I'm off to *cough* sparkle at my job *cough*. Yes...sparkle.

SquareGirl said...

Oooooh sparkle! How fun! Scrabble AND smut, you are quite a gal!

Logophile said...

Well done, ya little blue pill!
The write up was lovely Im sure but my cones and rods are in rebellion after that little trick.

Doug said...

Minka, sorry you missed the write-up. It's Walela's fault.

Brian, I have no doubt.

Al, she meant Bud Light.

Quilly, I'm starting to think you may be part Jenna.

G, she kind of lights up a blog, doesn't she?

Puppybrose,, I can't do it. Thanks.

Joel, Winter is making a comeback, isn't it? Roar on in here, old friend.

Thanks, Karma. You in shades and Jenna in glitter sounds like two good bad angels.

OC, that's kind of like telling the sun to rise but I bet you do that too.

Jenna, Hijack away. And let me know when you want the official bio.

Squaregirl, some women just live on the extremes. Jenna's one.

Haha, logo. I find sitting in dark closets good for recovering my vision and my temperament.

Mistress Anna said...

Yaaaay Jenna. You do realize I still have some stories you wrote in grade 9 at my house muwahahahahah - Don't worry I'll never tell;)

Minka said...

Aweseom write up Doug, she truy is one of a kind. Such innocence, I wonder where she finds the intensity of her words, but silent rivers do run deep:)

*claps again*

Miz BoheMia who will be damned if she goes away to sign in and loses her comment DAMMIT!!! said...

Oooooweeee! 'Tis my Piscean sistah I so owe an email and will get to writing it once the chicken poxy girl and the incubating boy are tucked away in bed sans drama (I hope!)! She is faboo I tell you, FABOO!

I can say that I have the pleasure of knowing the sweet and shy girl behind the mask and if the world sparkle is to apply to anything it is most definitely to Jenna through and through for she is a woman one is not likely to forget and will and shall and must most definitely love, LOVE I TELL YOU!!!

Bravo amiga mia! BRAVO!

Y hermanito, as always, your taste in women is impeccable, IMPECCABLE!

Anonymous said...

Squaregirl & Logophile: I so got skillz.

Doug: Nothin' but charm, charm, charm. Consider this blog HIJACKED! SHAZAAM! Sparkle & Smut...sounds like my kind of law firm. Oh yeah - I know what you mean *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

Anna: Seriously? You still have those pieces of sheeee- ...err...sheer brilliance? Man alive. Grade 9? You're sure? I so gotta read that sheeee- ...err... sheer brilliance again.

Minka: reputation is taking such the thrashing in here. I'm gonna need to smut it up some to recover!

Miz B: You're the best. The BEST I SAY!!! Your check is in the mail.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Jenna sure does sparkle plenty. Good job all 'round.

Sparkle: what it takes to start a fire with someone special, or a cookout, or a car on a cold morning. Also see, Burning Down the House. I love heads that talk.

Anonymous said...

Jenna has a sparkle which eclipes everything else. Nicely done Doug, and Jenna :-)

QuillDancer said...

Doug, every woman is part Jenna -- some of us just admit it better than others.

Anonymous said...

Jenna! Nice going in the sparkly department. Its a fitting word to go with your new avatar.

What would Ambrose say if he knew this place was being ruled by the little blue pill today? What't that noise? Oh, I think I hear him spinning in his grave.

Doug, that was a very nice write up. I'm glad the hiatus was short lived too.

Anonymous said...

Hey? Where'd everybody go? Y'all aren't working are ya? Yeesh. Hell you're probably playing those games at the Snark.

TLP & TSDuff -'re making me blush!

Quilly: some just have more than others and they all seem to be here. Whoot!

Kyah: Hah! I thought I heard a faint "Whoot-whoot!" from him.

Doug said...

Oh, come on, Mistress. Tell us one. I bet she was still writing soft-core at 9.

Thanks, Minka and I know just what you mean. Jenna comes across almost pure until her imagination kicks in with its high voltage. I don't know why it makes sense but it does make Jennasense.

Gracias, hermana! Tu conosces bien chicas y muchachos.

Jenna, I left the keys on your couch this morning.

TLP, those were the days when heads talked. No lots of parts seem to talk all at once. Nice poetry, too.

Thanks, Terry. She does indeed.

Quill, that's true. You used to hide it better, to be honest.

Thanks, Kyah. I wonder, too. Ambrose doesn't seem to have cared much for women generally but I can imagine him liking bauds. As if any of us don't.

Sorry, Jenna. I had to spend a few hours earning this month's paycheck. I'm back at attention.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I loved your sparkle post, Jenna, and the lips are fantastic, too:)

oceallaigh said...

Sorry Jenna. I was too busy moving house. Had to follow Quilly ...

Jamie Dawn said...

Jenna, your avatar is awesome! I LOVE it!!! The lips are like Dorothy's shoes, only on lips. Very cool!

I don't think Jenna smutted up anything. She held back her naughtiness and let her sweet nature shine and sparkle.

It is great to see a photo of you, Jenna!! Very pretty, and is that mood lighting going on there?

Douglas, I stopped by here twice yesterday, but was FORBIDDEN entrance to your comments page. I abhor when that happens.

When I think of the word sparkle, I think of those gay characters on a comedy show years ago that always said, "Hated it!" I can't remember what show they were on, but those personalities sure sparkled.

Anonymous said...

Actonbell: I love the new avatar too. Glittery fun!

OC: I know. Seen the new place. You two rebels you.

Jamie Dawn: the picture isn't me. I made Doug work by finding pictures. I remember that show...well not it specifically because I'm drawing a blank but the skit.

Quilly said...

Doug -- If I were all virtue I'd be boring!

Mutha said...

I'll do a definition for ya dawg.

Doug said...

Actonbell, it was a good one, wasn't it?

O Ceallaigh, as long as we can find you.

Jamie Dawn, I left specific instructions that you were to be let in. Of course, I left the blond photo not the merlot. My fault. As Jenna said, all photos here today are from a google image search for "sparkly."

Quilly if you were all virtues you'd be exciting.

Mutha, bless you. Thanks.

cooper said...

Jenna sounds to be full of sparkle.

Anonymous said...

Jamie Dawn, the show was In Living Color and the skit was Men on Film and that was their tag line "hated it" as opposed to Jenna's guesting today "Loved it!".

Night all.

SquareGirl said...

Doesn't R.E.M. have a song called "Sparkly happy people holding hands"?

Or is it "Shiny Happy People Holding Hands"?

Needless to say, I'm going to start singing "Sparkly Happy People..." in honor of Jenna.

Doug said...

Cooper, that's because she eats her lipstick.

Night, G. You're quickly becoming our Reference Librarian of Cool.

Square, that's some honor.

Anonymous said...

Jenna indeed seems very sparkly, and not near as lurid as her sparkly avatar might make one think!
This is intended as a compliment--sometimes I don't come across properly and want to explain myself before I end up with a literary kick in my sizeable rear part.