Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Special Guest Wednesday

young 2007 This week, please help me welcome my guest, 2007. 2007 was asked to define Prognostication.

PROGNOSTICATION, n. The amalgamation of numbers, statistics, trendlines and theories into a concrete trial balloon. An alchemy transforming dull and unreliable data into sexless, dragon-poor fantasy.
Some say in fire, some offer by ice
That before this year ends, the world will end twice.
Some say in prosperity the next year will find us,
And especially you, if, investing, you mind us.

Some say the nations will die of man's peace
And some predict war if deployments decrease.
Some say the next big thing will be a new number
And the next star musician like last year's but dumber.

But two things are certain and promised eternal,
As we make each new circuit past Apollo infernal:
When winter returns laying this year on it's bier,
The droning of experts and the prating of seers.

old 2007

About 2007: 2007 is a sniveling little infant. Will someone bring me a bottle? I said bring me a bottle!

For the last time, Happy New Year!

How to be a guest on this site: To be anointed, I will need your email address and permission. So, were you to send an email to dpascover at mac dot com and say in the subject line something like "OK, ok I'll do it," that would definitely work unless I thought it was spam and deleted it. On an upcoming Wednesday, after posting that week's guest I would then send you an email with a word not in The Devil's Dictionary which you could then spend the next three days writing a definition for and return to me with a graphic or two of your choosing. The only rules are no profanity, no novels and anything else I make up. If you've done this before, I may ask you again if you're around a lot. If you've done this before and not been heard from since, just let me know that you want to be a guest and then disappear again.


Minka said...

2007 is gonna be awesome :)
Welcome to it, there is a hole in the ground where you can hide and watch from a distance the spectacle that is our lives :)

Sar said...

Bouncing icons, nifty! Now for today's word...

Prognosti...Zzzzzzzzzz... *thump*...omakejfoigvjkn

2007 wake me up when it's over.

O Ceallaigh said...

PROGNOSTICATION, n. Advertisement. Positive for me, negative for you.

Minka said...

yeah, what´s up with todays words...I mean somewhere I saw prognostication and amalgamation in one line. What was in your drink for New Years? Vitamin C?

*hands him a bottle of the good stuff*

QuillDancer said...

Allow me to make my own prognostication: The earth will keep spinning and the sun will keep shining. Most everything else is subject to change.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Prognostication: What Punxsutawney Phil, the world's most famous groundhog, give us all on February 2. Be there or be square. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Gives us. Not give us. *sigh* I predict that I will continue to make typos forever, or as long as I live, whichever comes first.

Doug said...

Minka, Saddam tried that. What are you suggesting?

Sar, get used to it, College Girl.

O Ceallaigh, I thought propaganda was win/win.

Thanks, Minka. Geritol liquid just doesn't take olives well.

Quill, you're pretty brazen for a schoolteacher.

TLP, I'm sending a delegation this year. The secret to avoiding typos is not reading.

puppybrose said...

so what are you saying here? that 3 freaking days into the New Year all is lost? or you THINK all is lost? or *will* be lost? yeesh. i say leave the prognostication to stock brokers, meteorologists, and little bald men behind big velvet curtains. go back to bed. your bottle isn't empty, my friend, it's just full of hot air.

QuillDancer said...

Yay, Puppy! You're my hero! (It is my prognostication that your comment will make a certain dawg howl.)

al said...

Cool, Doug, I'm into it, but looking at it from a different angle:

Retrognistication: The phrase "See? I told you so!", especially as expressed through the anus.

Excellent guest today, Doug! Remember that, as the little bugger's willing host, you've tacitly agreed to wipe the snot off his blank little face before turning him loose again.

And, we're holding you to your promise that this will indeed be the very last time.

Doug said...

Um, no, Puppytoes. Actually, I was only predicting prognostication. I'm looking forward to a year that promises many great things including, but not limited to, bipartisan satire of foolish assumptions.

Bowow, Quilly.

Well, the last time for this year, Al. Inshallah there will be other new years for me to wish you well in. That's a hope, not a prediction.

puppybrose said...


mireille said...

I like the geezer jumping on 2007 as if it were a posturepedic. Heh. Geezers jumping on beds. Heh. I want to say something else but I made a resolution about insulting geezers. Also, I liked the apocalypic tone of your poem. Nice. xoxo

mireille said...


Jodes said...

here is to a great year!!

SquareGirl said...

My prediction is that 2007 is destined for greatness!

Logophile said...

I had no idea that 2007 was going to prove so verbally adept at such a tender age.

Anonymous said...

Ah well, he shan't be a snivelling little infant for very long. In no time at all he will be a snivelling old geezer!

Anonymous said...

I hesitate to make any predictions for 07. As long as it wasn't as crappy as 06 I'm good.

Doug said...

There, there, Puppybrose. Here's a shiny nickel.

Mireille, as people celebrate so should they tremble.

That's my point exactly, Jodes!

You expecting a Nobel Prize this year, Square?

Logo, if only she'd keep her diapers on.

Prodigious little things, aren't they, Cheesemeister?

I don't make predictions either, Jenna, other than the ones I posted. But I wish you a 2007 as sweet as ought-six was sour.

Anonymous said...

There there 2007 - my prognostication is that Doug's calling for a bottle and you're breastfeeding. We're just getting to know you, give us time - say 362 more days.

pia said...

2007 wrote that?

Any year that ends in 7 signifies a new beginning in my life

I love 2007 being your guest. He cute

Brian said...

Prognostication: Nostication, an affliction that was brought back from an Eastern European capitol. Similar to the fruit fly invasion but usually burrows in fur of surly canines.

Anonymous said...

Can't we just relive some of the old years?

Doug said...

G, by his stripes ye shall know him.

He is kinda, isn't he, Pia?

Clever, Brian. Praguenostication.

Indy, I'm still working on 1967. Flu still has you, doesn't it?

G said...

Don't smote me, I'm already smitten. Was it that I forgot to mention your poem oh so grand?

puppybrose said...

'twas a grand poem, at that, G! tho' that bouncy geezer seems a bit too upbeat for this site, but maybe that's just me. (i'd like to say it was all that jumping that initially distracted me from the original "point" of this post, but that would be a lie from the pits of hell. also, it would sound like a crummy excuse, and well, i'm better than that. or i can think of better excuses than that. or maybe i better go back in the corner and play with this shiny nickel i just found...)

of course, in "predicting" annoying prognostications, you are staying true to your curmudgeonly self, Doug, which leads me back to that bottle of "hot air", which i'm sure has given you gas.

Jamie Dawn said...

Prognostication is too big a word for me today.
I'm SO mad that I missed yesterday's word.
Back-slide... boy have I heard that word a THOUSAND times over the years in church!

I look forward to many blog-related joys in 2007!!

Doug said...

Naw, G. Just quoting Isaiah to one of my favorite followers of the Old Testament in regards to getting to know someone. I try not to smite my friends.

Puppybrose, hot air is my stock in trade. I just wish the price would rise.

Jamie Dawn, onward, upward and forward.

Anonymous said...

PROGNOSTICATION (that's in all caps because I did the cut-paste thang. Gettin' extra lazy, here)

that's what insurance companies try to do, right? I don't think I like prognostication one bit. (except when it's just for fun)

Groovy poem, Doug--I'm impressed.

Anonymous said...

Minka, I thought the good stuff was Icelandic Cod Liver Oil...?

Doug - fancy wording there young fella. I thought only weathermen did prognosticating...? I love it when you bark.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

prognostication - Apparently something that Pat Robertson does annually on instructions from God.

(If I was him, I'd speak to God about his winning percentage though. It isn't looking real good.)

shayna said...


It all awaits you,
A lustrous view,

Creation, evaluation,
Damnation, salvation stimulation,
Evolution, levitation, inspection, election --
Prince of Peace

Hate shall cease.

Happy 2007, Doug! :)

Doug said...

Actonbell, groovy is the standard to which we here aspire. Dude!

Growr, Terry.

Poobah, and in turn, Robertson was one of my inspirations. Gods lips to his ear, his lip to my, uh, pen.

Shayna, you're a wonderful counselor.

Anonymous said...

Doug, I have a great definition of prognostication. Per my standards of procrastination I'll get it to you soon.

Happy Thursday!!!

Anonymous said...

Don't be too hard on 2007, he'll grow out of it.

Happy New Year.

Doug said...

Morgan, welcome back. I can wait. This is recreation.

Goldennib, we have to get on him quick or he'll turn out like his brothers.

Anonymous said...

Doug: Spare the rod?

cooper said...

You mean fortune telling, right?

For the last time from here, and because I missed special guest Wednesday as things are gt ting hectic and my mind is going......Happy New Year.