Saturday, February 24, 2007

The Confessions of an Ex-Shepherd

Episode 8 of The Meditations of Diogenes The Cynic.

To hear the story, listen to the blind man.

This week, in The Prattler, "Spinal Tapdance."

To read the story, gather around Diogenes.


Logophile said...

Poor Polyphemus,
Diogenes is such a demanding philosopher!
What a cheery tale you are weavin us, Doug.
And who knows, maybe rather than just providing depth the second eye also account for the peculiarities of perception.

ariel said...

the cyclopses came back, saw what'd happened and asked him,
'Who blinded you?'
'Then you are stupid.'

the amoeba said...

Somebody oughta find that spot on the road to Damascus and wall it off. It's dangerous. Right, Saul ... er, Paul?


1. A New York fella with a heavy tread and a desperate need for new shoes.

2. A football player from Hofstra, Bill.

3. An ancient Greek elephant joke. You think I'm kidding?!?

actonbell said...

Bravo!! That was great, Doug--the reading and the story.

Cyclop sounds a bit like a descriptive word for walking through a graveyard, to me.

Quilly said...

cyclops person with narrow vision and a foul disposition

mireille said...

hm. arcane ... yet oddly unapproachable. cyclops ... computer applause. xoxo

Minka said...

I love this installment in particular. Your definition at the end is brilliant and your voice sure makes the cyclop sound big and intimidating.
and personally, I think it is mean that Diagones kicked the goblet with the coins, I mean it is not like Pthe blinded Cyclop has an eye to gather them back into it. 'S just mean!
One of these days, I am gonna have to have a word with this first philosopher of ours.

puppybrose said...

Mirelle: that was inspired *clops cyber hands appreciatively*

great tale, there, Doug! "How long ya been philosopherin'?" love that. now, please explain exactly how Odysseus "took advantage" of Polyphemus... i mean, did he really -- or did i misunderstand when the giant mistook Diogenes for "Mary"? (i get so confused)

that said, i agree with Minka -- no excuse for that kind of rude/aggressive behavior, and i hope to heck she does find a way to tweak someone's philosopherin' ear some day.

AP3 said...

One of your best, Doug! Cyclops are the sounds horse-trotting makes in cyberspace?

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Terrific! You did this very, very well.

Lots of men can't be trusted with sheep. Or so I've heard.

Lammy said...

TLP is so right! How well I know.

Jamie Dawn said...

I'm wondering how long it had been since the cyclops had a good bath. I don't know why, but I think I could smell him as I read this story, and it wasn't pleasing to the nostrils. At least I think it was the cyclops that smelled badly.
Did I forget to use deodorant today? Nah.

Cyclops: A stinky, one-eyed lug.

Doug said...

Logo, I'm here to illuminate if not enlighten. Or visa-versa. Whichever is dumber, really.

Ariel, I bet it went just like that. "And where are your sheep? Oh, Polyphemus, not again."

Amoeba, that third article is absolutely fascinating. Maybe horsepucky but a great read.

Thanks, Actonbell. It is a sad-sounding word.

Quilly, I think that's a little narrow. I like to think I can aspire to that and keep both eyes.

Zockso and cyclops, Mireille. Will you do the emoticon?

Thanks, Minka, but it's like talking to a wall.

Puppybrose, what happens in polyphemus' cave stays there.

Thanks, Aral, and that's a perfect sound.

TLP, I've heard that too. And billy goats can't be trusted with men.

Haha, Lammy. Sorry for my brethren.

Jamie Dawn, he is the son of Poseidon, after all. He probably smells like seafood.

mireille said...

thank you, puppy. Um, what happened in polyphemus' cave? *peers around with bright eyes, hoping for something really sordid* xoxo

mireille said...

oh, sorry! You meant the story! *blush* Which, as is customary, was exceptional! xoxo

Minka said...

Any wall can crumble when pressure is applied with just the right force and determination :) I´ll see to it, don´t worry ;)

Tom & Icy said...

When is the movie version coming out on dvd for this story?

G said...

"Pity and admiration are the keys to almsgiving. A good beggar must inspire both.” I love that.

All around - I'd give you an A. The tale, the telling thereof, the interjecting of modern vernacular and well the hint of impropriety with sheep best of all.

Really, twas a good one.

Doug said...

Mireille (whispering) they played poker.

Minka, I guess a brick ain't nothing but a brick.

Tom, if you'll write the screenplay we'll send it somewhere.

Thanks, G. That's my first A. In school, I mostly got g's.

The Old Mule said...

well done...

karma said...

hey, i know a guy who has an eye in the middle of his forehead

cozta: because i'm going

Minka said...

Doug, a brick is powder in waiting!

Doug said...

Thanks, Mule. Well done on Blue Ridge.

Karma, and a nation full of women with that trait and four arms, too.

Minka, "We drift down time, clutching at straws. But what good's a brick to a drowning man?" -Rosenkrantz from Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard.

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

That was a graet beddtime storie. i allways wanted to find a giant sos i can show him whose boss. also i am honest, scowts honer!

Doug said...

Boy, I believe you are. And I bet if you plant a beanstalk you'll end up kicking a giant's backside!