Wednesday, February 28, 2007

On the form, format, structure and taxonomy of blogs, blogging and bloggers upon the occasion of the second anniversary of Waking Ambrose

Nah, just messing with you. Here are two fables.

The Declamation

A great man stood elevated on the marble steps of a great building in a great city with a vast crowd before and beneath him. He raised his arms. "Brothers and Sisters," He cried out. "Now is the people's hour. Now is the time for us to honor one another as we do our celebrities, rulers and dignitaries. Now is the time, my friends, to see our neighbor in the same glow of dignity and find in our brother the same charismatic gravity we accord to the rich, the famous or the powerful!"

A little boy in the crowd turned aside from his affairs and looked up at the man who, realizing he had been noticed, ran behind a statue of a lion, dragging his broom.

Moral: Great leaders are revealed by distracted children and covered with lions.


The Pious Sparrow and The Marmot

On a warm and lazy summer day, a pious sparrow saw a marmot on the creekbank below. The marmot was prone with his head between his two front paws and the sparrow alit beside him. "Are you praying? Are you praying?" the holy bird asked over and over.

The marmot opened one eye at the chirping and answered her: "Indeed, I worship the great God, Morpheus." Satisfied, the sparrow took wing and said a Hosanna to blessed Zephyr. Nearby, the sparrow's cousin, crow, said a thanksgiving to Hades for the flesh of an itinerant rabbit who had been asking the favor of Saint Christopher at the moment the car struck.

Moral: Look both ways before prayer.

Big announcement: Old Mule and I want you and your blogging friends to gather together a year or so from now so we can eat meet you. For more information click here.

ANONYMITY, n. The laureate of every toast, a deputy Dionysus.

38 comments:

Tan Lucy Pez said...

I always check every direction before prayer. Somebody might see me.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Anonymity: The state of chicken-heartedness. Too embarrassed to claim your action or word.

the amoeba said...

Happy 2nd Blogaversary!

ANONYMITY, n. The cherished possession of every malefactor and his champions in the ACLU. See Real ID.

Mo'a said...

Anonymity, something lost in a factory in NYC, when Andy declared that every person in America will have 15 minutes of fame....he had no idea that there would be a pandemic.
I am in the 11th minute of my 15 minutes :)

Omnipotent Poobah said...

anonymity - The condition of being alone in a crowd.

G said...

anonymity: I thawt I saw a puddy cat, I did. Look I'm following some good ones above - I've got nothing.

Happy Blogaversary if it is.

If you're going to insult people is it better not to leave your name said...

For a moment I thought that was an OC title on your post, then I realized it was too short.

Happy Blogoversery! And many more.

-Anonymous

puppybrose said...

Happy Blogoversary, Doug! (if that's who you really are) loveloveLOVED these fables!

oh, and i think a gathering of Blog buddies is a fabulous idea. of course, considering the fact that there are currently something, like, 60 million blogs, i'm guessing many of us have gathered before and just didn't know it, thanks to our various levels of Anonymity.

Pia Savage said...

anonymity: something one wishes for less of and more of, sometimes in the same hour

Two years? that means we "met" 25 months ago when you came out of anonymity to rescue me, oh knight in shining dawg suit

Sar said...

Anonimity: I wear it well.

Happy Blogiversary to the satirical wizard and curmudgeon man behind the curtain, running my beloved intellectual playground.

Kyahgirl said...

happy blogiversary Doug.
pia nailed it I think: anonymity = "knight in shining dawg suit"

cooper said...

Wow, it seems everyone is in or around their second anniversary. It from here on that the boys are separated from the men.

Happy Blogaversary and Chicago?????????????????????? Holy Crap the reason I did not go to school there was because it was so damn cooooold.

I'm in.

Karen said...

You mean to say you've only been here two years...

...seems like a lifetime. :+)

Congrats on your second coming!

Doug said...

TLP, I don't think you could be anonymous at the bottom of the ocean.

Thanks, Amoeba. That's alleged malefactor to you, pal.

Mo'a, I once read a comment on a blog that said in the new media, everyone will be famous to 15 people. I hope that's right because, otherwise, time's up, Lady.

Poobah, I'm hoping to be anonymous at my funeral. As long as I don't get implants, there's a shot.

Thanks, g. It is.

Quilly, that has to be you. Too funny.

Puppybrose, that's probably true. I hope I left your windshield tolerably clean.

Pia, that sounds like you're describing someone I know under a pseudonym.

Sar, you wear it well, but don't spell it so good. Cheers and the swing's free.

Kyahgirl, I blog under the same name I use on my taxes. Thank you.

Cooper, we were talking about where everyone we know on blogs lives and Chicago and Saint Louis seemed to be minimally inconvenient. Iowa City is good, too.

Thanks, Karen. Once a year whether I need it or not.

a4g said...

Anonymity, n. Fame, as obscured by a face.


Two years? Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?

Al said...

Happy Anniversary, Doug! If we're getting together a year from now, let's make it someplace warm, huh? Marmot stories are great, by the way -- and especially of the reverent ones. Nice work today.

Anonymity: God's gift to everyone at birth that, like virginity, once lost is gone forever.

Al said...

Oh, yeah -- Roadkill roadkill, as today becomes tomorrow.

The Old Mule said...

anonymity: not the fate of Doug's dog

Sar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sar said...

Doug, I was merely using the vogue spelling of today's word. I should also add that I can spell it perfectly fine.

it

See? Now I challenge you to define it.

Doug said...

a4g, it flows slower but leaks less often without kids.

Thanks, Al. God point, between us we've covered the North American species of marmot this month. Good for us.

No, Mule, let the names Willie and Walela ring from the rafters and toll across the meadows.

Sar, it depends on what the definition of "it" is.

tsduff said...

I am happy that you've been honing your blogging skills for an entire two years... carry on.

That rogue crow - praying to Hades!

Anonymity is when I prefer to remain nameless

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Anonymity: The mighty astute mother of anonymous, who upon hearing her son's astringent observations, decided the family should not advertise their names and addresses.

Minka said...

Hmmm.....I have to think about the first one, love the second one and ulalalalala ... big announcement!
So are you gonna go, I mean there´ll be people there and stuff. Huge social event, lots of small talk
*looks at a Doug-shaped hole in the door*

Jenna Howard said...

I very much enjoyed your Morals. Not sure what a beow is though and what that means to the creekbank.

I use my not-so-subtle anonymity to point that out.

A birthday party for me next year? Sweet!

Jamie Dawn said...

Two years, and you & Bierce are still funny and interesting. Who'd a thunk it?

BRAVO!! Hooray!!

Happy Blog Birthday and Happy Blogaversary!!

Moral #2: Pray with your eyes open.

Doug said...

Terry, your secret's safe with me.

That was an astute mother, TLP.

Minka, I'll be ok as long as I'm serving the food. Funny image, though. I can picture it too. "Hey! Kool-Aid!"

Jenna, thank you for the editorial assistance. You can pick the cake.

JD, that's cheating! Thanks, friend.

Annonymous said...

The really great men poop marble

actonbell said...

Happy bloggingversary, Doug! And I simply adore that definition. I can be anonymous, too. (Just another cheerful tipsy person)

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

Thats ok Doug you dont have to make me ananonymoust i was aktully the littel boy in the first storie!

Mistress Anna said...

Can I come incognito?

Indeterminacy said...

Happy anniversary! I'm going out and buy a greeting card.

*gets up, walks to greeting card store, buys card*

OK, I got a card - I'm going to read it now. Ahem.

*reads card*

"With noble words, so sly not gross
You went about to wake Ambrose
You did this now for two whole years
So sly so smart so bitter Bearce"

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

Hahaha! He mispelled Bierce!

Elbot said...

I have a spell-checker built into my brain.

Happy Anniversary Mr. Pascover!

May you never be reformatted!

Doug said...

Anonymous, do they eat philosophy?

Thanks, Actonbell. Anonymity becomes you.

Boy, I didn't want to name you without your consent.

Mistress, we should have Groucho Marx masks at the door. I think your eyes will give you away.

Thanks, Indy, for the card and all.

Boy, you'll understand some day.

Thanks, Elbot. And to you.

Indeterminacy said...

And the sparkling poetry, Doug! Next year we can change the two to three and use it again!

weirsdo said...

A belated happy anniversary, Doug.

Doug said...

Indie, that's just practical.

Thanks, Weirsdo.