Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Two Poems

My Lonesome Lover

I made my wife of corpses' skin
And found true love deep within
She says just what I want to hear
When, breathlessly, she calls me near.

My love to her I represented
With wine of vintage less fermented
And flowers that would make her blush
If the ones she offers weren't so lush.

The road we travel, we travel often.
Me on my feet, her in her coffin.
Though the miles we cover aren't many,
She stays with me, my lucky penny.

And when my time on Earth has passed
And finally, I breathe my last.
I have no fear of what's in store.
Making love in her bed as mine before.

Come live with me and be my love,
Here on Earth and below, above.


There are two kinds of people I have known
One suffers misery, stoic alone.
And drinks at night a wine of soured fruit
And greets each dawn in turn, a howling brute.

The other kind fills our prosp'rous nation
With grinning kids, clubs and conversation.
And there, inside a bustling hectic house,
Afflict their misery on a spouse.

And you, who love true, despite the danger-
Happy Valentine's Day, matchless stranger!

Cupidity n. Prevenge.
Wedding Cake, n. A rich tort.

Happy Ogre Day Eve to all


actonbell said...

Now, that was quite an Ogre Fest! Necrophilia on Valentine's Day.

Prevenge--I like that.
I hope you have a great day, despite yourself;)

Minka said...

I second actonbell, in positioning and mind :)

Can we expect some extra growling today?

Have a lovely Wednesday and stay indoors today, I am sure people that know you will understand ;)!

al said...

Our wife says you're a hopeless romantic, but me? I think you're nuts. (The good kind.)

Funny post today, Dougie, thanks. And thanks, Hallmark, for setting the grouchy Doug up today.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

"Wedding Cake - A rich tort"


puppybrose said...

*wipes tear from eye*

that was touching, Doug, touching. fab poems/fab definitions, too. tho' "Cupidity"? i thought that meant: one who goes freaking insane in the name of "l'amour". (but that's just me and/or my cupid passion for bad puns...)

puppybrose said...

d'oh! speaking of "cupidity", i guess my own passion to get out my comment caused me to make an error -- albeit a minor one. that should read:

Cupidity: the condition of one on an insane and/or muderous-arrow-shooting rampag, in the name of "l'amour".

or something like that... sigh.

Karen said...

Happy Valentine's Day, Doug!!!


puppybrose said...

arrrghhhhh. i meant "rampage". rampage. RAMPAGE.

i give up.

Old Mule said...

Doug - "breathless" ... well done. And to be honest, I am not too chippy either.

wilted feather said...

Fitting. Thanks.

Mutha said...

I had a feeling today might bring out the grouchier Doug.

Happy Valentine's Day anyway -- and look out for Cupid's arrows. ONe might catch up with you on today of all days. Wouldn't that be ironical?

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Uh...I'm so glad that at least you're not bitter.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Prevenge: Does this mean that you shot Cupid yesterday?

Mo'a said...

Do I detect shades of Tim Burton.

Happy "Supid Cubid Day" or if you prefer Prevenge Day....I would call it Prevenient Day...Well a girl has to keep her hopes up :)

Is it Hallmark?

AP3 said...

I see you're a big fan of Valentine's Day. Well, it is pretty stupid, actually.

Doug said...

Thanks, Actonbell. Actually, the great gift of singleness is I can enjoy myself today.

Minka, about the usual growling.

Al, you may both be right.

Thanks, Poobah. Kleenex?

Puppybrose, I know. I'm just a sentimental guy. Or a jumbo shrimp.

Tee hee, Karen. *Slurp*

Marybeth, today more than any other day, spelling matters.

Mule, aren't you getting hitched? I can see why a visit to death row might not encourage the folks in general population.

Quilly, this was no place to come for good cheer today.

Mutha, it's not the arrows I fear, it's the bow.

Strangled, TLP.

Aral, they don't call me Mr. Romance for nothing. I wonder if there's a three stooges marathon on.

G said...

Wedding cake: Once fed so lovingly now shoved in the face. Okay it's really not that bad, but you saved me because now I shall pass the poem Union off as a gift to Scissors who will join me in laughing until we cry about the lines:

"And there, inside a bustling hectic house,
Afflict their misery on a spouse."

You've outdone yourself you ole softy.

Anonymous said...'re such a romantic Doug.

Happy Wednesday. I'd probably duck any arrows shot your way.

SquareGirl said...

The irony is that I completely forgot what day it was until I visited this site Doug.

mireille said...

I know, it's just another day to live through before your fave holiday, OGRE DAY! But I must confess my undying, erm, affection for you, dear breaded shrimp. I know that beneath that crusty exterior beats a pale pink heart that's a little fishy. ♥ mwah ♥ also, I got some swell perfume for V-Day and I smell good. Knew you'd want to know. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Well, at least you love your dogs. That counts.

I told my husband that you killed Cupid. That saved me 'cause I failed to get him a valentine card. I'm not very romantic myself. But I made him an extra nice breakfast. He is in love with breakfast.

karma said...

Douglas, it's almost the end of Ogre Day here. So, before it's too late my love, tell me, will you be my Valentine?

fqucljog: ♥♥♥

ariel said...

considering that there's no way for you to get away with a Valentine's Day post, Doug, it could be worse. keep up the good work, and I may be proud of you next year.

Karen said...

OOPS Doug... you went to the wrong place; come to my *safe haven* - you will love it!

now click my name, like the glass slipper, and it shall take you to ♥never-never land♥

actonbell said...

Doug's pulling our legs, of course. Somewhere in the background, he's playing a Johnny Mathis CD. Listen: can you hear it?

Hide your heart from sight,
Lock your dreams at night,
It could happen to you.

Don't count stars,
Or you might stumble.
Someone drops a sigh,
And down you'll tumble.

Keep an eye on spring,
Run when church bells ring.
It could happen to you.

All I did was wonder how your arms could be,
Then it happened to me.

You had better keep an eye on spring,
Run when church bells ring,
'Cause, it could happen to you, to you, to you.

All I did was wonder how your arms could be,
Then it happened, then it happened,
Then it happened to me.

Doug said...

G, consider that my gift to you both.

Jenna, it's safe to stand behind me.

Square, that is funny. My apologies to your husband.

Mireille, I already knew. I'm only two states away, after all.

TLP, my place in life is to provide cover for neglectful lovers.

Karma, my dance card has plenty of room for a four-armed, three-eyed beauty. How are your teeth?

Thanks, Ariel. That's the perfect level of support.

Karen, will there be tea?

Actonbell, this is funny: At the very moment your comment came through I was listening to Mozart's Requiem.

Mutha said...

Oy with the Mozart's Requiem!

Ain't ya got a little show tune in the house?

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Just as long as you're happy in your own good company.

I came back to ask what the proper protocol is for tomorrow? Should we all wish you a Terrible Ogre Day? We don't want you to be happy if that doesn't suit you.

Jeffery Dohmer said...

I carry her body parts in a basket
And have a picnic from her casket

~Mo'a~ said...

*Sniff* my heart is did not even notice that I have been here :(
Friendless.....that is how I feel today....I thank the stars for my dolls..."Now Paloma,we are not talking to a certain puppy face....for a while anyway" *BwaaaaaH*

Doug said...

Mutha, this ain't that kind of house. Besides, I can't afford to wake the dead unless I'm ready to cook breakfast.

TLP, last year I played with "Reverent Ogre Day" but that didn't fit so well. Let's try terrible.

Tom, you're trying to one up me.

Mo'a, I'm so sorry. I did notice you were there. Shame on me. Shame on my comment-answering! But, you can't come between Paloma and I. Ours is a real love. A wooden love.

~Mo'a~ said...

*smile* You are forgiven :) I will talk with Paloma and tell her all is well and you can continue your Wooden/Apoxie Sculpt love. *smilw*

Michael K. Willis said...

Stuffy-headed (colds are such a bother) and lazy (there are words being left unwritten and/or un-edited as I while away the afternoon blogsurfing a few of my favorite sites) as I am today a smile and a chuckle were just what I needed and you delivered both. Thank you kindly :-)

the amoeba said...

Mozart's Requiem?!? I'd roll on the floor laughing, but given that my housemate is ripping up the kitchen ceiling and spewing dust and old fiber insulation all over the house, I have to contain myself. Or I'll never get cleaned up.

I could wax eloquent about VD, but I won't. Everyone else is. Besides, my motivations are, um, a little different this year. However, with respect to Union, I have to relate the story told today on NPR about Southwest Airlines, which prides itself on having something like 2200 couples that met and married while working for Southwest.

That scream you heard around 8 this morning was all the investors and stockbrokers who heard this Morning Edition segment, who, with one voice, cried out:



puppybrose said...

♥ Roses are red,
♥ Violets are blue,
♥ Ambrose is dead,
♥ Tomorrow, those flowers will be, too.

the end.

cooper said...

That was spectacular.

I heart you though, so Happy Valentine's day dear Doug.

Doug said...

Mo'a, epoxy will keep us together.

Michael, it's great to see you again, friend. I'm glad you laughed.

Amoeba, it was the absolute truth and not at all planned for effect. I wonder how many Southwest employees have been divorced.

Lovely contribution, Puppy.

Thanks, dear Cooper. Right back atcha.

Kyahgirl said...

Oh you ol' softie. Your poetry is divine.

I don't care for Valentine's day per se, but am happy to give a piece of my heart to my friends, any day of the year.

PANSI said...


Doug said...

Kyah, and we're happy to eat one!

Pansi, my relief is palpable! Don't eat any pomegranate seeds on my account!

tsduff said...

Spent this day
In bed with sneezes
Not the hoped for
love appeases

Your poems long
and sadly solemn
Hope you shake off
all your golems

Heart day cometh
yet next year
Hope your countenance
then is cheered

Doug said...


Sorry to hear of your disease.
Mine is not catching. Be at ease.

Cheesemeister said...

I love it! Excellently gruesome and gruesomely excellent!