Friday, February 23, 2007


SUFFRAGE, n. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized. Refusal to do so has the bad name of "incivism." The incivilian, however, cannot be properly arraigned for his crime, for there is no legitimate accuser. If the accuser is himself guilty he has no standing in the court of opinion; if not, he profits by the crime, for A's abstention from voting gives greater weight to the vote of B. By female suffrage is meant the right of a woman to vote as some man tells her to. It is based on female responsibility, which is somewhat limited. The woman most eager to jump out of her petticoat to assert her rights is first to jump back into it when threatened with a switching for misusing them.

2007 Update: The transformation of a subject of government into an object of lies.


Joel said...

First? Hellooooooo.....this is weird.

~cj~ said...

Suff'Rage What happens at my house quite a bit... mostly when daughter #2 gets into daughter #1's Suff!

:) Your right Joel... it is awfully quite in here. Have they been abducted by aliens?

Karen said...

"The transformation of a subject of government into an object of lies."

And here lies the truth!

Brian said...

The Surgeon General recommends three servings of Suffrage everyday.

Minka said...

suffrage, the right to sit wherever you want in a bus!

Minka said...

maybe rather on a bus! I am not that sure about prepositions in the grand sceme of grammatical syntax ... just in case somebody hadn't noticed;)

The Old Mule said...

Suffrage: an excuse to tour the local fire station

puppybrose said...

wow. this is a good word. no... it's a great word. but it's also a difficult-tho'-not-impossible word to define. this is gonna take some time, and it's gonna be a struggle, but i'll work on it, in hopes of finding a way to be a part of all that is: The WA Experience. (not sure what that means)

Suffrage: the hard-fought right to replace one BIG problem with a sh*tload of others.

Mo'a said...

Yes, I see what you are getting at....What is truth anyway?
Did you have your Cherry Pie yesterday?

Logophile said...

"Vote for me" saith the one,"and thou shalt receive blessings so there will not be room within your house to receive it all."
"Vote for me" saith the other, "and I shall improve the path for your carts and for your oxen, and your asses, and for all manner of your beasts."
Therefore the people went forth, and voted, and lo, there was great suffage throughout the land.

Indeterminacy said...

I'm confused. How do I vote for this blog? I looked everywhere for a vote button.

(my comment got eaten somehow - so I'm trying a second time)

mireille said...

Speaking of jumping back into petticoats at the threat of a "switching," may I go on record here? I will beat to death -- with my bare hands -- any man who I felt "threatened [me] with a switching for misusing [my rights]." Ahhh, good. I see I still have wrath firmly in my grasp. xoxo Re suffrage: you can't win if you don't play. Unfortunately, we don't seem to be winning anyway. XOXO

G. Nat Salpigga said...

The great deception. One of them anyway.

karma said...

I am suffrage ever since the ****tard workers started with remodelling my house. someone put me out of my misery?

qccdls: quick cuddles

G said...

Karma, Oh do I know of the misery you speak. Good luck.

I'd like to type a definition but I'm all caught up in my petticoats.

"Aww wham bam thank you Mam"

Suffragette City - David Bowie

Cheesemeister said...

Totally new meaning of Suffrage, unless someone else already said it and I missed it:
What the citizens do after the votes have been cast and counted and the new elects take office.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

I find Ambrose insufferable in his definition of this word. Also inaccurate.

We not only have not jumped back into our petticoats, some have shed their pantiloons completely. Also see Spears, Britney. And I do mean SEE.

Doug said...

Joel, relax and enjoy. I'm sure no-one will cast a spell on you or turn you into a frog or anything.

Hey, CJ! It's like that when Willie tries to take Walela's stuffed octopus, too.

Karen, I think I just became the first American out of the 2008 race.

Brian, long time no see, pal. The fiber kick in?

Minka, that was a sincere definition. As far as I know in and on are both ok.

That's funny, Mule. Sure seems worth fighting for, doesn't it?

Puppy, you did well. Every march starts with a step, right?

Of course, Mo'a. And I had to chop down the tree to get it.

Wow, Logo. Aesop and the Old Testament in one comment.

Indie, I think whichever blog has the most deleted comments gets to be mayor.

Mireille, he's already dead but by all means keep voting and choking.

Haha, g. nat. On a list of 100 great lies, Suffrage is at least 10 of them.

Karma, I can but you'll have to live in a yurt.

G, that song needed singing.

Cheesemeister, yup.

TLP, I kind of had the feeling you'd take issue with that. Can someone tell me what a petticoat is? Someone other than Britney Spears, I mean.

the amoeba said...

SUFFRAGE, n. Something for which a group will suffer great trials and tribulations - for the right to not use it.

It was said that Kennedy won the 1960 Presidential election in 1968 because women voters went for the pretty face. Did Nixon's face somehow get prettier in 1968/72? Or Dubya's face anytime? Hello ....

The Old Mule said...

...and I have to agree with TLP - this might be one of Ambrose’s floppiest definitions. (not that mine is all too perky)

pia said...

Wait, Doug, you mean the government transforms subjects into objects of lies?

Like, uh, GWB isn't honest?

Was that really Bierce's definition? The first one, not your much more pithy and funny update

Quilly said...


I exercised my suffrage by voting to leave blogger and go to where the frustrations are fewer and further between.

I commented this morning! Where is it?

tsduff said...

Excuse me, but I'm suff-raging too much sitting here working on a Friday to work on this heavy definition. Why don't we just all go fly a kite?

Doug said...

Amoeba, I think John Kennedy won the 1960 election in 1968 because he had a time machine. The one sure-fire way to win. Although I'm not sure it would have worked for Kerry.

Mule, I think Bierce got a little uninspired around the S'es. Some of those definitions are two pages long. But I like the construction of "the right to vote for a man of another man's choice."

Pia, I'm afraid that was Bierce. Of course I don't mean that. I support and trust the President. (repeat)

Quilly, I've left some verbal jetsam at Wordpress, myself.

Terry, a crow with a kite is a fantasy I hadn't had yet. Thanks for that!

Tom & Icy said...

If dogs could vote, Doug would be President.

a4g said...

Suffrage, n. A word that may alternately refer to the act of voting in an election, or merely reading the results.

The campaign is considered by many to be suffrage as well, especially during years divisible by four.

AP3 said...

This makes me think of School House Rock, remember that? "We were sufferin' until Suffrage..."

I miss Women's Lib.

actonbell said...

Yeah, remember bra-burning? Forget about jumping out of petticoats. Oh,wait, that reminds me of Petticoat Junction. They hung their petticoats on the side of a water tower, right?

Doug said...

Icy, I think that might be right. If dogs could vote, I'd want to be.

a4g, the divisibility of the year is hardly a factor anymore. The divisibility of the voter might be.

Aral, I somehow forgot that one. I can do Conjunction Junction, I'm Just a Bill, and We The People by heart, though.

Actonbell, I remember that show vaguely. What a memory!

Kyahgirl said...

I would have loved to meet dear old Ambrose. He had so many 'women issues' that a person of a female persuasion could probably have a great time yanking his chain.
Have a great weekend Doug.

karma said...

we had to wear petticoats under our Convent school uniforms. and woe if someone's uniform hem was shorter - she would be subject to jeering "your Sunday is longer than your Monday" - which had the god-fearing nuns' knickers in a knot

g, thanks for the sympathy. may i have some tea with it?

the amoeba said...

Um, Kyah? Y'gotta remember that Bierce was the man who bragged - bragged - that the woman with whom he had three kids (and whom he later left) had never seen him naked. I suspect that any woman who yanked on his chain would find that it was attached to one hell of a short fuse. I can't imagine that the cracked skull he brought home from the Battle of Kennesaw Mountain helped matters one whit.

Bierce was indeed a man of his time. A white man ...