Friday, May 09, 2008


BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
The man who taketh a steam bath
He loseth all the skin he hath,
And, for he's boiled a brilliant red,
Thinketh to cleanliness he's wed,
Forgetting that his lungs he's soiling
With dirty vapors of the boiling.
—Richard Gwow

2008 Update: Baptism by lather. According to Lutheran theology, each is good for a life.


Anonymous said...

Baths get dirty girls clean. Usually.

Oooooh I am first on bath day!

TLP said...

Bath: The loss of money. Usage: I took a bath on that one.

Jim said...

Bath: The Saturday night ritual when I was home on the farm.
My younger sister got first's in the washtub (in the middle of the kitchen floor) while I was 'standing by.'
Then it was my turn.
Mom did the scrubbing.

Bath: I was glad when I became a pre-teenager so I could stand under Dad's leaky bucket in the back porch and take a shower like a man.

Bath: A ritual for Adi every week or two, for sure before we go visiting at the assisted living place.

Bath: A blood bath every now and then in the old west on Main Street. Now a Friday and Saturday night ritual, but still on Main Street.

karma said...

sure miss 'em. there's a shortage of goat's milk

hvpku: when you're heavy, you need to puke

G said...

Jim stole my "once a week whether you need it or not." Although we took ours more often, sometimes we doubled up and had one in the wings waiting. Ah the luxuries of youth.

Jenn - don't forget the bubbles!

Jamie Dawn said...

Funny poem. Those dirty vapors will kill you.

Bath: a temporary reprieve - Calgon take me away!

Tom & Icy said...

Usually just go outside and let the wind blow off the stink. When it rains I can roll in the wet grass or a puddle.

G said...

I'm back, just laughing at the thought that I went from the shared baths of my youth to the MIKVEH. Funny, this thing called life.

Anonymous said...

Oh to bathe---thoughts of utopia...submerged in living healing waters...adrift in bliss........Thank you richard nixon for the clean water act....Peace.....

Anonymous said...

G...I never forget the bubbles. Baths were why bubbles were invented.

sauerkraut said...

Bath: invented by Romans, discredited by Christians, dispised by Amish, revered by clean people, filmed by Fellini.

how's that earworm today?

quilly said...

Bath n.

the act of sitting in a tub full of standing water, soap, and one's own body waste. After stepping out of such tubs, most bathers actually believe they are clean.

tsduff said...

When we hosted a Japanese exchange student she insisted upon placing a chair into the bathtub, as was the custom in her country for taking a sponge bath. She was delighted when I showed her how the shower worked.

Doug said...

Jenn, only other dirty girls get dirty girls clean.

TLP, losing money also gets dirty girls clean.

Jim, that's progress for ya.

Karma, is honey scarce, too?

G, the good old days when times were bad. (Lyric by Merle Haggard.)

JD, that's what we use!

Icy, my dogs get clean by chasing rabbits through sage brush. They always come home smelling like marinated chicken.

G, collection of water is a pretty interesting turn of phrase.

Peace and good hygiene, Brer Bear.

Jenn, why were baths invented?

Sauerkraut that was serious poetry.

Quilly, I usually feel pretty clean going in. Baths cause dirt.

Terry, when I was an exchange student in Germany I soaked the floor trying to figure it out.

sauerkraut said...

Was reminded today...

Bath: city of warship building. in Maine, not far from where the great OC formerly called him home, on the river kennebec.

Doug said...

Someday, Sauerkraut, it will be a way-station on the Great Amoeba Walk.