Advice to my nephew Jake on his 6th birthday

The first Earthling in space was named Ham,

A pioneer chimp raised on spam,

Though by man catapaulted-

Through heaven's vault vaulted-

His own weight won his way back to land.

You must study if you'd fly a plane,

And work hard if you'd drive a train

But an astral adventure,

Needs no indenture

Just a boy's bravery and monkey's brain.

This story, I tell you, is true

With a lesson that's in it for you:

If a chimpanzee can

Reach the stars from dry land,

Then you're suited to do the same, too.

CHIMPANZEE, n. A brute of the species Homo jacobensis.

Happy birthday, monkey boy.

Editor's note: this word has a previous entry on this site, which is a little ironic.