Tuesday, May 18, 2010


DANDLE, v.t. To set an unresisting child upon one's knee and jolt its teeth loose in a transport of affection. A grown girl may be similarly outraged, but her teeth being more firmly secure, there can be no object in doing so, and the custom is a mere mechanical survival of a habit acquired by practice on babes and suckling.
If you care not for the scandal
You can hold a girl and dandle
Her upon your knee all night;
But the game's not worth the candle
When 'tis played by candle light.

But whene'er you feel the yearning,
And the candle isn't burning-
Or at least not very bright,
The the little game concerning
Which I sing is very quite.
2010 Update: To prepare young tykes for the ascensive drubbings that replace affection away from the familial knee.


Karen said...

Top o' the mornin' to ya, Ambrose!

Jim said...

"This affection on the familial knee hurts me worse than it hurts you!" My Dad never used to tell me that but I hear some moms like to say this.
'Ascensive drubbings?' Does the tongue or pen really hurt worse than the stick?

Anonymous said...

the treatment my
baby sized pension
receives from our
wall street

delightful journey,
met folks
missed folks
hung with
family folks
even got in
some tokes


Anonymous said...

DANDLE, v.t - I'm a Yanke Doodle? Oh wait nope. Ride a crock horse to bambery cross to see a fine lady upon a white horse. Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes she will have music where ever she goes along with no teeth.

TLP said...

Pez family Dandle:

"Ride an old goat,
lead an old hound,
hound gave a yelp,
goat gave a jump,
Left old TLP sittin'
on a stump."

My Mama would sing-song this to me. She would have me on her knees. At the "Jump" she would part her knees, and I would fall down, except of course she never let me completely fall.

cooper said...

I thought it was called knee humping? Or was that only in the brothel too?

sauerkraut said...

Dandle, n., common tool hanging upon the walls of the typical amish household.

Doug said...

Mornin', Karen.

Jim, clearly.

Good to hear, Bear. I wouldn't have bet against that last point.

Haha, Thom. Is that how the song goes in Winnemucca? (for what it's worth, Winnemucca is one of my favorite American cities. I'm giving you a hard time because that's what's expected.)

TLP, I can picture that. Great image.

Coop, I still claim to not know the answer.

Is that a fact, Sauerkraut?

Anonymous said...

LOL...yup...that's how I was taught it while driving the line ROFLMAO!