Monday, October 02, 2006


BACKBITE, v.t. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

2006 Update: To indicate the coarse idleness, frivolousness, envy, gossip, malintent, ill-nature, indiscretion, arrogance and long-windedness that distinguishes another from your unblemished self.

Happy birthday to Andy Pascover, neigh Pascover, who's a waddling, malodorous monkey.


Minka said...

Happy birthday Andy.
I hope throughout the years you have taken many an opportunity to bite back. I mean growing up with this here host, can´t have been apeaceful youth!

backbite, considerate truth (some things are just hard to say to people´s faces!)

Anonymous said...

not ready to address the nature of backbiters, who seem less dangerous on the surface than the never popular back-stabers, but in fact, are not. (i'll trade a clean cut for a festering wound any day)

instead i'll offer a birthday greeting to another Pascover neigh Pascover née waddling monkey (for aren't we all? née waddling monkeys, that is). Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Anonymous said...

Backbite: while the verb itself may be conjugated in the first and second persons, it can be applied only in the third. (Otherwise, I guess, frontbite would be a word?)

A good word for a bad deed. Thanks, Doug.

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

Sorry Mister Pascova i didnt understand all the words in your defanition today but i wont complane about it behinde your back.

Anonymous said...

backbite: act of pulling a splinter from someone's eye, despite the log in one's own and/or throwing stones from the inside of that glass house you live in. (i know i know...trite, predictable, and cliché... you're welcome to complain *after* i leave, okay?)

oh, and, for the record, i had no idea you'd be referring to a beloved family member as a monkey, malodorous or otherwise, when i put up today's Snark post. (just sayin'...)

Tom & Icy said...

I tell only lies.

The amoeba said...

BACKBITE, v. t. To exhibit a taste for short ribs. See ANKLEBITER.

Hey Joel!

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be


Anonymous said...

backbite: what Gertrude K dog does when she has a back itch - a back itch remdey!

mireille said...

Happy Birthday, Andy. btw, I really like malodorous xoxo

Anonymous said...

Backbite: This morning's heartburn caused by last night's Mexican takeout.

Happy birthday Andy!

Minka said...

puppy, waddling monkey? And behind my penguin back? My waddle has nothing to do with monkeys, I´ll have you know :)

Charlene Amsden said...

backbite v. action of one formerly beloved niece when her innocent and unsuspecting aunt bends to tie said [now brat-] child's shoe. (btw: she will deny this, but I have the scar to prove it)

Anonymous said...

aiiieeee, Penguin! "waddling" is Doug's word, not mine--now that i think about it, tho', perhaps it might be prudent to ask him why he elected to use it over something less, shall we say, penguin-related. (and while you're at it, "malodorous" seems a tad egregious, as well...)

Miz BoheMia said...

Oweee! Backbite? If done just right it can be oh so delightful!

Just sayin'...

Mo'a said...

Backbide? something like calling a waddling onkey malodorous.....
that just stinks *thought laugh on way to throat*

Question: Does said malodorous waddling monkey aka Andy get along with Foxes?

Charlene Amsden said...

backbite relative perrogative

Doug The Una said...

Minka, you'll be glad to hear my brother bears his burdens with mighty shoulders and a smart @$$.

Thanks, Puppybrose. We'll wait a minute on the backbiting.

a, I offer nothing but good words for bad deeds and curses for the good.

Boy, that's all a man can ask.

Puppybrose, plagiarism in the pursuit of posting is no problem. I paraphrase.

Dusty, that's why you're the most successful journalist among us.

O Ceallaigh, you have hours, only lonely. How goes the vengeance?

CJ, Walela bites Willie's back. Now that's good medicine.

Hence the perfume, Mireille?

Thanks, Joel. Malodor too, I guess.

Minka, that's something I'd just prefer not to think about.

Quilly the scar and dental records should be enough for any court.

Puppybrose, don't tell anyone I said this but he never bathes.

Cheers, Brian!

Miz B! ¡Estoy rosado!

Mo'a, two kids so far.

Quilldancer, among relatives it means love.

Anonymous said...

Backbite: The soon to be discovered pentium VIII, stolen from the Swiss by Anarcho-Menlo-Parkers.

(, that was a great one)

Sar said...

*looks around* OC's gone, right? Curse that little single cell for spewing his cytoplasm and giving me a freakin ear worm!

What's today's word?

And happy birthday to the queen's pappa, Andy!

Ariel the Thief said...

backbite, socially accepted form of getting somoene out of your way.

Very happy Birthday, Andy! love has many words, "waddling, malodorous monkey" moved me into tears. it is so unlike of your brother to let his feelings show like that!

sawbo: saw my baby in your coat

The amoeba said...

Sar, it was the dusty one's fault, I swear. How much is that doggie in the newsroom, anyway?

Doug, you don't want to know about my hours. But "vengeance is mine, says the LORD". No, George, I was not talking to you. Nor Dick, neither.

Doug The Una said...

Mule, isn't that an octium?

Sar, I knew you'd understand.

Ariel, socially acceptable anti-social behavior? I've been waiting all my life for that.

O Ceallaigh, judge not lest ye be judged.

Cindra Jo, I'm kind of enjoying the two of you telling personal stories in this here public forum. Please continue.

Anonymous said...

ps - Happy Birthday to Andy.

And, as my wife's high school boyfriend said in a moment of profound reflection, "Why, we are all just hairless apes."

So, Andy, a monkey ain't far down the rung.

Anonymous said...

backbite: how one might retaliate to a mocking from bastard people... in lieu of a pillow?

LeMas. said...

backbite-gossiping with teeth.

Yeah, yeah,'s Monday morning, punny is all you're gonna get.

Doug The Una said...

Thanks, Mule. I hope your wife isn't teaching school.

Puppybrose, I need one hundred thousand dollars.

Masil, doll, it's after 11.

Anonymous said...

that, and a Remains of the Day lunchbox, right?

Doug The Una said...

For my wife, Bonnie. And "My Dinner With Andre" action figures.

Logophile said...

Happy Birthday, Andy, you great ape!

As for backbiting?
That would be discussing lexographers who use
when they mean
in the comments when said lexographer is busy elsewhere.

Kyahgirl said...

Aw, its so sweet, the brotherly love just shines through.
Happy Birthday Andy and don't let Doug's backbiting ways get you down. I guess you have a pretty thick hide by now, eh?

Anonymous said...

just make sure Bonnie wears that wonderful pantsuit you bought.

The Mushroom said...

Backbite: The tactic one must resort to when one cannot reach the hand that feeds them. A skill that is very useful when one gets into corporate management without requisite skills.

Doug The Una said...

Logo, thank you for both the correction and the well-placed mockery.

Kyahgirl, don't get me started on the thickness of his hide. You'll make a hypocrite of me.

Puppybrose, I'm thinking Bahamian.

Mushroom, I'd have taken another way if it had been available.

Anonymous said...

as a bobble-head?

Jamie Dawn said...

...Or as Inspector Clouseau would say, Andy is a minkey.
Happy B-day, Minkey!

A backbiter is a very passionate love maker.

tsduff said...

Backbite - Simple enough; the worst kind because you can't reach it to scratch it.

Anonymous said...

More bacteria filled than dog bites, but hardly noticeable if you don't turn around.

Anonymous said...

I sing these blues
In a minor key
Everybody in town's trying to BACKBITE me
I love my man
Better than I do myself
Now he's lovin' somebody else
That's why I'm singing these minor blues
Early this mornin'
On the break of day
I felt the pillow where my daddy used to lay
He left last night
Didn't say why
Didn't even kiss his mama goodbye
That's why I've got these minor blues
I combed his hair
Manicured his nails
Took my money and got him out of jail
I brought him coffee
I brought him tea
Brought him everything but the jailhouse key
That's why I'm singing these minor blues
I sing these blues
In a lowdown key
To let you know how he mistreated me
Get up in the morning
Work hard all day
Come home at night and give him all my pay
That's why I'm singing these minor blues
Nobody knows
The trouble I seen
Nobody knows my misery
Keep on singing to me
This minor key
Maybe someday he'll come back to me
That's why I'm singing these minor blues

Doug The Una said...

With one of those swooping hats, pup.

Jamie Dawn, you're the bim.

Terry, depends on your species.

And I don't, Alice. What happened to Orpheus already happened to me once.

Nice lyric, Shayna! Reads like Lady Day.

dddragon said...

Happy Birthday AndyPandy!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Andy. I haven't noticed an odor. Could be there is a waddle, but nothing for Minka to envy or defend. Miz Bohemia, as my first Mother -in-Law used to say: "not my daughter!"

Charlene Amsden said...

Sar's place is really going to the dawgs. Congrats on your win.

Anonymous said...

Backbite: 1. helpful and/or otherwise undisclosed information 2. carnivore's delight at Chilis (or so i'm told) 3. condition corrected by braces with bumpers. [see also: Anthony Michael Hall bobble head]

now i'm spent. don't talk about me until after i've gone to bed.

Miz BoheMia said...

Oh that Daddy! So silly! As in ha, ha, haaaa silly... although hey! Listen to the man people! IT WAS NOT ME! Not Daddy´s daughter FO SHO! FO SHO!

Dios mio!

As for the waddling one... hmmmm! Minka?

Miz BoheMia said...

Psssst... hermano! How's that for some backbiting? Hmmm?

Doug The Una said...

Hardly, Actonbell. You took avenged another middle child.

Haha, Dddragon. And a stroke for first borns.

Dad, you're damn right not grammy's daughter. I'm not surprised you missed the scent, beastmaster.

Thanks, Quilly.

Pssst, I bet Puppybrose had braces.

Hermana, you gave it your best shot. I'm guessing you're better in the frontal assault.