Tuesday, October 03, 2006


BALLOT, n. A simple device by which a majority proves to a minority the folly of resistance. Many worthy persons of imperfect thinking apparatus believe that majorities govern through some inherent right; and minorities submit, not becaues they must, but because they ought.

2006 Update: The weapon with which patriots oppose their countrymen.


Minka said...

I vote for Minka for First place and there is nothing you can do about it, ´cause I´ve got the time zone on my side :)
*happy dance*

Miz BoheMia said...

Dammitall! And now that I am connected again! Oh well, 'tis good to lose to my sistah at least! *sigh*

Ballot... a joyous day it shall be when I no longer am labeled "absentee" says mine as it awaits to be mailed but hey, I DO have until November so stop tsk-tsk ing me!

Minka said...

You make a beautiful runner-up, Miz B. :)

Miz BoheMia said...

*blushetty blush* that's FO SHO!

Anonymous said...

your definition reminds me of a quote: "Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against."~ W.C.Fields

i'm groping for a relevant definition here... even as i scratch my head over the fact that Mark Foley managed to get on a ballot and/or elected no fewer than 6 (count 'em SIX) times to congress. Oh those *whacky* Floridians.

Charlene Amsden said...

ballot i. offical U.S. paper used for casting a vote; valid in every state except Florida

FelineFrisky said...

Ballot - where I hold my nose and pull the leaver, errrrrr click submit nowadays. D :}

G said...

"valid in every state except Florida"...and every blog poll besides the Caption Contest! Just kidding Sar. Close contest. Congrats to the winners - shameless and all.

Anonymous said...

and maybe Ohio

Doug The Una said...

Minka, I nominate you for East.

Miz B, if you moved to Santa Clarita I could be your precinct clerk. What is art and culture against something so grand?

Brian, oink.

Puppy, not to move into this conversation but I'm feeling like Foley, who clearly should lose his job and be in treatment, is actually getting railroaded beyond his nasty deserts. Must be an election coming.

Quilldancer, they're a little rough for toilet paper and cheap for coupons.

Diane, does the whole electronic voting business make you queasy, too? You going to stand up for Florida?

G, I don't know about Florida 2000 and I'm skeptical about Ohio 2004 but the irregularities at the caption contest demand investigation.

Pia, back to your vacation container! Nah, just kidding. I vote for you as heroic vacationer. You've done well, this morning's 2000 words notwithstanding.

The amoeba said...

BALLOT, n. The ante into the game of chance that is republican government. (Thank you Ambrose ... and republics, which are governed by chance, from his definition for ABSOLUTE.)

As for Foley, Doug - you may be right, but see MONICA. NOT the penguin, unless she's holding out on me. Why not, everyone else does.

Shouldn't it be bothering us that premeditated official lies, secret tax-supported torture camps, patriotic domestic spying, the loss of American prestige abroad, and the loss of American fiscal solvency at home, are accepted with scarcely a murmur, or a rolled head? But a few salacious emails and all hell breaks loose?

Indeterminacy said...

Ballot: Abbreviation for "use it or lose it"

Anonymous said...

O'C: spoken like a true fan of The Daily Show. and i couldn't agree more. (with you *or* our host)

Indie: or, "use it *and* lose it"...

Anonymous said...

Ballot: hit list

Ariel the Thief said...

ballot: theatre set on the stage where they play democracy

Anonymous said...

Ballot: tightly choreographed dance featuring pointed fingers and/or wagging tongues. [see also: Nutcracker Suite]

Rio said...

a letter short of a foul. ball out.

Anonymous said...

you know, the pun-machine was set on slow-groan for my last effort up there. perhaps if i had included "hanging chads" it would have made more sense and/or been mildly amusing? (then again, perhaps not) sigh.

Anonymous said...

I'd planned to sit this one out, but couldn't resist.

Ballot: A French automobile, ca. 1905, named for the brothers (Maurice and Edouard Ballot) who designed it.

Kyahgirl said...

this is a tough word Doug. Liked the definitions though....chock full of cynicism.

The ballot has been another unfortunate path to the erosion of the world's perception of American integrity and intelligence. Y'all have gotten some pretty bad press in the last few years on the topic of 'counting'.

Doug The Una said...

O Ceallaigh, without engaging your list I said last night that Hastert shouldn't lose his speakership over Foley. He should lose it for betraying the constitution. I guess I can't complain too loudly if I post the word ballot and politics come up.

Getting more abbreviated all the time, Indie.

Puppybrose, the list of people you'd like to hit? You bet.

Ariel, that was excellent. Maybe a ticket to the play.

Puppybrose, I just got a huge grin from the thought of Karl Rove in a hoopskirt.

Rio, great to have you back. All wellish?

Puppybrose, see above. I see you're voting early and often.

Brian, as the all-star game, so Cooperstown?

A, I did not know that. Are you training for Jeopardy?

Kyahgirl, I fear we're better at counting than voting.

FirstNations said...

ballot: like classical dance, proof positive that very little progress is achieved by consensus, although quite a lot of thumping and sweating goes on.

The Violent Vixen said...

Hmm, it seems all the *good* comments about Florida have already been taken.. oh well, so I'll post this link then:


it's the idiot proof voting system

dddragon said...

Ballot: a dancer who can't fit into the box because of the hanging chads and tutus.

Charlene Amsden said...

Doug, better rough toilet paper than slick toilet paper. Also, whether ballots are used for toilet paper or for voting, their value after they've been cast remains about the same.

LeMas. said...

ballot-soon to be the paperless paper trail for fixing elections.

Tom & Icy said...

Casting the fishing line into a polluted pond.

The Mushroom said...

Ballot: A futile attempt to promote good and prevent evil, or a successful way to promote evil and prevent good.

Acton: Ergo "ballot" and "bullet" come from the same root.

Jamie Dawn said...

I prefer hanging chads.

tsduff said...

I'm without a ballot on this topic.

Doug The Una said...

Good one, First Nations. More sweating is done by people in consensus.

That's funny, Solace. To me it would mean disenfranchisement.

Dddragon, that's funny. Think outside the box and color inside the lines.

True Quilldancer, and they're worthy of what goes into them.

By soon, Masil, you mean next month.

That is too interesting, Actonbell. What did a blue vote mean?

By the hook, Icy.

Mushroom, that's why we in the evil business so love democracy.

To electronic voting, JD? Me too. Even raising hands.

Terry, zookeepers get to vote twice at Waking Ambrose. It's the only way we can make sure the right person ends up in charge.

Alana said...

Sigh. I think the saddest part is that your update is more accurate than cynical. One day, I hope to go to my polling place in order to vote FOR a candidate.

Anonymous said...

I vote for Mule for last place.

...beat that, Minka ; )

Anonymous said...

I'm a very bad speller and thought it had to do with dancing on wooden toes.

Anonymous said...

give me liberty or give me death
no truer words, have ever been said
are you prepared
for your very last breath
don't you dare start
what you cannot finish

so when we face, face the adversary
no longer are we the minority...

and when history repeats her hour
the pendulum will swing
swing into power
though not in vain like our forefathers
freedom, never had no room for cowards

for in the end, there will be equality
be any means necessary

the ballot or the bullet
the choice is up to you
the ballot or the bullet
tell me what you gonna do
the sword and the pen
can be held, by the same hand

what's it gonna take to liberate
an emancipation, a false proclamation
all these token words that you legislate
sound a little bit absurd, and a little too late

when a house is divided
it just will not stand
once it's decided
a line drawn in the sand