Saturday, December 23, 2006

Special Delivery

Story #74, in which lists are made.

To hear the story, ask Santa for directions.

To read the story, tell Santa you "want some stupid story for Christmas."

Now, about Prattler. The same catastrophe that made today's story late means Prattler will have to be rebuilt from scratch. Anyone making a site on iWeb should email me for advice on how not to end up old, bitter and drunk like me. Prattler will be back but I don't know when.


Anonymous said...

first in line! (holding place for teh Penguin, but that's beside the point)

Anonymous said...

Second in line. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. Hey, Santa, what will you get me this year? And could you please let Doug show more often on my blog or doesn't he anymore cos there's no more Retardo? :P

The amoeba said...


"Yeah, dude. Two weeks in a row. Dude must have left his getupngo in Budapest or something."

"Or picked up a nice French virus to pass on to his hard drive. Yech."

"So who are you to complain about not blogging on time? Ever since Blogitive cut off your ..."

"Keep it clean, dude. Don't blow off your reader. Speaking of which, I was hoping to read something cool from the Dawg today. Guess I'll just wait here."

"No you won't."

"Says who, Dude?"

"Says O Ceallaigh, dude. He wants you in the car. Now."


"Your word of the day, is it, dude? Yes, again."

"But we just did that a month ago!"

"And we're doing it now! Or don't you want some DVDs that will actually work in your PS3?"

"I'm coming, already, dude! I'm ..."

"Keep it clean, dude! Just shut up and pile in."

See y'all later. Happy Christmas.

Doug The Una said...

Thanks, Puppybrose.

Sophisticated, Santa's been very busy. Fortunately, he does stop in Alexandria.

OC, it was his brain he left in Europe. Here's the scoop: I wiped my hard drive this week. I did reinstall the software I write in but when I ran it at 3 this morning it asked for a serial number that was in a box that was in my office, frome where I am typing. I'll be home in an hour and should be able to write and post an hour after that but, like I said, it will be late. We at Waking Ambrose apologize for any inconvenience.

The amoeba said...

it asked for a serial number that was in a box that was in my office

Oh, man, don't you just hate that?!? Best argument for shareware there ever was ... especially if that's a Microsoft product. Or Adobe ...


Anonymous said...

Take your time, Santa.

Minka said...

His lap better be real soft and his ears washed, i have a long list.....

Sar said...

Waiting on line?! Isn't the internet supposed to negate the need to stand on line? What kind of Santa are you?!

Clearly the only kind who would manage to fry his computer only to leave the box in his ofc Christmas weekend. I mean who else would go to and post from their ofc at 5:30 in the am? Only the most dedicated -- Satire Clause!

Anonymous said...

I thought that I had stood in my last line for Santa years ago. Oh well, never say never.

Charlene Amsden said...

I'll join the queque. If Doug would go to his office early in the morning during the Christmas weekend just for us, I'm willing to wait patiently without giving him grief -- yet.

Doug The Una said...

O Ceallaigh, its an Apple product. Turns out even with them you have to meet a minimum standard for intelligence. Who is working on artificial stupidity?

Thank you, Al, very understanding.

Monki's a funny name for a kid.

Thanks, Sar. Satire Clause is back at the South Pole.

G, you haven't got any nicer about it since.

Thanks, Quill.

OK, I'm back and the software works so give me say an hour to write something, record it, find photos and post. Let's say 11:30 TLP standard. Thank you for your patience except those who are impatient.

mireille said...

We at Waking Ambrose apologize for any inconvenience. heh. xoxo

Fred said...

Have a great holiday, Doug.

Minka said...

Hah.........this would make me first to today´s story. *little celebration wave in awe of me*

Willie? First I imagined your dog in santa´s lap , but i relaize afte ryour Pc crashing, even Willie knows better than to get an Apple :) (That´s right, kick you when you are down!)

But I have to say: 4 worlds of Spyro, i am very impressed. I myself have achieved such accomplishment in teh time frame of about 5 years ...I wish I was kidding.

Merry Christmas, sunshine and may the next year bring you back up files ;)

Anonymous said...

(aren't you glad i saved your place, Penguin?)

Willie's on par with my son, with regards to those video game levels, as well (wish i was kidding, too...)

as for THIS fabulous Yuletide story? i'd have to say that, despite being tardy, it was a Ha-Ha-Ha-Happy Holiday Tale (or tail?)... and WELL worth the wait!

not only that, but for a guy who's been sick, you're in pretty great voice today, Doug. not to mention the fact that you look darn cute dressed up as Santa. (that *is* you, isn't it??)

Minka said...

That must be him, Puppy, I was trying, by all means possible, to make the picture bigger, but couldn´t. I bet my winnie the pooh socks...that it is him!
Any takers? (size 36)

And thank you for saving me first spot, it is very important to me.

Jamie Dawn said...

MACs rule!! Good boy, Willie!
Great holiday story, Douglas.
Yuletide is such a neat word, don't you think? I do too.
There are bits of tinsel all over my floor. I can see some gleaming in the sunlight right now. I'll be finding them for weeks, I think. If Willie were here, he could lick them up for me.
I vow to never use iWeb for anything because I am doing all I can to avoid oldness, bitterness, and drunkenness.
I do plan to spike my egg nog on Christmas Eve, though.
Merry Christmas & holiday cheer to you!

Anonymous said...

I'm suddenly very worried about transferring everything off the ibook then wiping it clean. (Eeeek!)

So...Willie didn't get his Apple? Probably just as well if he got one of those sexy Macbooks...I'd have been wildly upset.

Merry Christmas Doug!

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas Doug. :)

Anonymous said...

You should invite your friend Dan over to help make the Yuletide gay. Merry Christmas Doug, you make a fine Santa.

Sar said...

I remember the funny comments about that red faced Santa being photographed just outside the men's room from last year. Good times never grow old, even if curmudgeons do.

Merry Christmas and a hearty Bah Humbug to you too, ya old fart! ;)

Anonymous said...

Was that a gag?

Merry Christmas, Doug. You've got it coming.

TLP said...

My, my, what a handsome Santa.

Delightful as usual Doug.

Merry Christmas to all! And happy all those other holidays as well.

Anonymous said...

(I'm afraid I need more tinsel.)

Cool story--I look forward to a sequel. I Was a Teen-aged Blitzen by Willie B. Gameboy?

I've never played these new video games, but maybe I'll witness some of it this weekend.

Merry Christmas, Doug!!

Charlene Amsden said...

I think there are a lot of folks who could use a bit of fresh air for Christmas. You don't seem to be one of them, Doug.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

mireille said...

You're drunk, really? I'm very sorry about Prattler's demise ... but look forward to its resurrection. xoxo

Doug The Una said...

We do, Mireille. Honest.

Fred, happy holidays to you, sir.

Thanks, Minka. I'm crossing my fingers that your wish comes true. I need back-up files.

Thanks, Puppybrose and yes, 'tis me. Someone owes Minka socks. Actually, among the casualties of my recent catastrophe are all my photos so those are the same ones I posted last year which I downloaded from myself.

Minka, size 36 sounds huge. And webbed. You won.

Thanks, Jamie Dawn. Save me some of the spiked stuff.

Jenna, be very careful when you back up, that's all I can say. All my stupid work stuff is still here.

Merry Christmas, Brian.

G, that's the edgiest comment here today. Good for you, Ebenezer.

Sar, I'm proud that you recognized the recycled photo.

Thanks, Al. You too, pal.

You too, TLP. And he is kind of handsome in a jolly old elf sort of way, isn't he?

Actonbell, it's very dark. "Under Santa's Harness."

Quill, swampgas is more my thing.

No, Mireille, I rarely drink and don't have a plasma TV. But, Al, O Ceallaigh, Quilldancer and I have plans to drink in a bar with a plasma tv someday. Why don't you bring bubble bath and join us?

Charlene Amsden said...

Doug, I take it you'll be ordering a bathrub margarita for Mirelle? I don't know how well the bubble bath will foam what with all that salt and ice ....

Alana said...

Phew! Glad to see that Minka managed to be first somehow in for the Christmas story to insure me that all is right in the world. Oh except for your computer Doug, that sounds awful, I'm so sorry to hear that. Next year you might just want to opt for the lump of coal.

Thanks for the Christmas story! Shiny tinsel makes anything and everything funa and pretty!

TLP said...

I guess the Prattler is still dead, or my link is still showing The Readers Digest thingie anyway.

You're using this thin excuse to explain why you are headed towards bitterness and drunkeness? You aren't anywhere near old. So, you have youth on your side at any rate.

Logophile said...

Happy Festivus!

Mo'a said...

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year SantaDoug.
Thank you for having the Jolasveinar as guests this year on your blog and for giving a home to a Fox and the some little tricksters.

Anonymous said...

Hey Doug! Merry Christmas from me and Iniki.
And PS-I don't need advice on how to get drunk and bitter, and old seems to be working itself out on its own. But if YOU want a little expert help...well I'll be too drunk to remember to get back to you. ;)
Happy New Year too if I don't get back here in time for that!

Anonymous said...

after Christmas Day has passed, please hint to TLP that she needs to blog about how dedicated a shopper-granny she is.

Doug The Una said...

Quill, I'm just guessing, of course.

Thanks, Square. Merry Christmas to you. I get the lump of coal every year.

TLP, I'll let you know when Prattler comes back. I'll be surprised if its next week.

And to you, Logo!

Thanks, Mo'a. The Jolas fit in grandly. Merry Christmas.

Hi, Lisa. I'll try to keep up. Merry Christmas, Madam.

I'll do that Actonbell. That would make a fine post.

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas Doug (aka Santa)! Have a great holiday.

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas Doug.

Santa is what we make him.


Lila said...

Great story, Doug! And I love it when you post the Santa pictures. Merry Christmas! (Yes, I'm working today.)

Anonymous said...

Ho Ho D'oh! did i NOT come back here and wish you an "official" MERRY CHRISTMAS? it would appear i did not.

Merry Christmas, my friend, may all your days (and most of your nights) be filled with much Love, Peace, and Joy -- and may these blessings follow you (whether you like it or not) throughout the New Year. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas, again Doug--may it be wonderful

couldn't find the direct link got a 404 error

Doug The Una said...

Thanks, Joel. Right back atcha.

Merry Christmas, Cooper. Making Santa is how to get what we want for Christmas.

Thanks, Sis. Unitarians don't get holidays off, I guess. Merry Christmas, though.

Neva, you've done fine by me. Merry Christmas to you.

Pia, it seems to be working now but regardless, a Merry Chistmas to you.