Tuesday, May 22, 2007


GROAN, n. The language in which a Republican Federal officeholder expounds his view of the political situation.

2007 Update (as if necessary): Punditry by other means.


Minka said...

Hurt, huh?

Anonymous said...

groan the only intelligible sound I am able to make after two days of packing and moving someone else's library.

Anonymous said...

groan - The sound that escapes my mouth when any politician opens his or hers.

groan - My reaction upon learning that my favorite baseball team has just lost its fourth straight - why do they have to suck?

groan - My every morning reaction upon realizing it's not Saturday.

Tom & Icy said...

The noise I make when I have to get up from my favorite spot on the floor to let the humans walk past.

Minka said...

"A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his Typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows readers digest and writers cramp."


No reason...but I think the groan of laughter balances the pain of stupidity :)

The Old Mule said...

groan: the gasp guttural of 2007

Anonymous said...

Groan: a whine and/or sighin' of the times.

i know i know...


Miz BoheMia said...

Groan... what bohemians do best due to all things Spain... I tell you, I look forward to the elation that is to follow all things San Francisco!

As for now, *groanetty, groan* FO SHO...

Anonymous said...

GROAN, n. The audible symptom of a badly-digested figure of speech.

What do you do with an arctic Penguin?
What do you do with an arctic Penguin?
What do you do with an arctic Penguin?
Early in the morning

javajazz said...

sigh...i feel like such a novice,
and i'll probably never try this again, because it hurts my brain too much, but here's my pathetic attempt at fitting into the mold:

the sound a mother is heard to produce
when she tries to accept the fact that both her children
now tower over her...
"my, how you've...groan?"

what everyone's flowers
in the neighbourhood gardens have done, except for yours...?

(please be gentle with me, you brainiacs...)

Mutha said...

"pundrity" threw me. What was the word again?

G said...

Applause for Java Jazz! Very punny - nicely done!

And I assure you this definition has nothing to do with yours or anyone else's entry:

groan: that was not a groan, I was just clearing my throat.

Ariel the Thief said...

groan, old ladies' favourite weapon.

Indeterminacy said...

Groan: The sound that occurs when you hit the "publish your comment" button and you find out you mispelled the word verification.

TLP said...

I am NOT going to be the first to state the obvious groan. Well, okay. I am. Maybe.

Groaning is best done in bed.

Anonymous said...

Groan: See "Prattler."

Mother Theresa said...

groan: A sound that escapes most men when hit in the...well, you know what.

groan up: is an adult who whines a lot.

home groan: complaining done at home.

Anonymous said...

i was SO gonna toss out a couple of knock, knock jokes today. that is before Java Jazz swooped in and snagged my puns.

*moans and groans*

ah well, at least she saved you the trouble of having to mock me this time around. well done JJ, well done! ; )

Doug The Una said...

Minka, (insert wookie groan)

Quilly, and yet I expect there will be a 250 word post when I get to your site later.

Joel, the Dodger's are doing very well. In every season there are times like this. Even when the White Sox WON THE 2005 WORLD SERIES, the last month of the regular season was abysmal. GROAN, n. A cordial answer to a platitude.

Icy, Willie and Lela are lucky I can still hop.

Minka, a lion once ate a political columnist who had gone on safari. The lion's wife asked him why he did it and he answered "Why not? My stomach was already grumbling."

Mule, a linguistics gag, yet! What can't you do? Oh, right.

Neva, "sighin' of the times" was very clever. I'll save the groan for someone else.

Hermana, no se pero creo que hay algones aci en California por qual quejarses.

So, Amoeba, a belch made from hot air instead of methane?

JJ, that was good for my purposes. Not so tough?

Mutha, let's say it was "cat."

G, I suspect a dirty joke but I'm sure I don't know.

So, Ariel, I guess a groan is the punctuation at the end of a lifelong complaint.

Indie, you're politer than I am.

TLP, you're exactly right. A tummy ache is so much more manageable than a headache.

Al, I hear you friend, but I hope the length isn't your problem.

Correction, Theresa- a sound men admit when they read a joke about getting hit in the... No groan horse jokes?

Knock knock
Who's there?
Neva who?
That neva stopped you before!

G said...

Doug - oh my G-d! I'm blushing - now I see the dirty joke staring me right in the face (so to speak)!

Oy vay on a PG-13 blog no less.

Anonymous said...


...and laughing at G. ; )

Ariel the Thief said...

oh G, with every word you add it's getting more hilarious... :)

Anonymous said...

Ariel ~ G's pretty good at putting her, um, foot in her mouth, and keeping it there.

no... wait. i'm the one who does that. heh. either way, you're SO right -- her line gets funnier with each reading and/or comment! ; )

javajazz said...

hey Puppy, one good turn deserves another...glad to be a decoy.
hopefully, it shall afford you time to heal from previous mockeries.
and thank you all, G and DD (Dry Dog) for kindly sparing me, this round...

Ariel the Thief said...

Javajazz, when the Dog gets dry enough, can I please get his skin? the children would love it in their room!

javajazz said...

well, what if he's still alive?
that might be politically incorrect.
you can be alive and very dry, you know...i'm living proof. menopause hasnt helped.

Doug The Una said...

Sure g. You're as innocent as a curmudgeon.

Thanks for joining me, Neva.

Ariel, don't encourage that foul-minded lampshade-headed vamp!

JJ, we're simple farmers. Peach cobbler?

That's more like it Ariel.

JJ, I live online. Dryness is good.

TLP said...

Groan is what some types of humans do when they are kicked in the groin.

Anonymous said...

groan away - when you leave home for several years to come back only when you're much older.


Groan: what I know I am about to do when I scroll down there and see that word verification, miss it twice and have to so it a third time.

javajazz said...

peach cobbler
is deeper than it appears.

in terms of being dry,
it really comes in handy

(and no, i have no idea
what that meant, either...)

Anonymous said...

If i find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the felsh that i fight is at best only light and momentary,
then ofcourse I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared

Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation GROAN as I wait for hope to come for me

Am i lost or just found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
An avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become

Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation GROAN as I wait for hope to come for me

For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me

tsduff said...

Man, I missed a go around or two tonight... And a fine lot you all are with the puns, cracks, driest of humor... JJ, you fit in so well here!

I like the groans made by the high branches of a hoary oak rubbing together, as I walk along beneath it in the light breeze of the dawn.

tsduff said...

Amoeba - I especially enjoyed your rendition of Drunken Sailor - although skewed :-D (groans)

Doug The Una said...

To think, Actonbell, all those years we thought our folks wanted us to complain. Wasted!

Which types, TLP? OW!

Cooper, you're still not that much older.

JJ, I think it means "Got milk?"

Shayna, I've missed that. And a particularly fine lyric, too.

Terry, have you noticed that every newcomer walks in coy and winds up dancing in public? JJ will do fine here.

Mutha said...

Oh...then meow.