Tuesday, December 04, 2007


MALTHUSIASM, n.  An animated acceptance of the doctrines of Malthus.*

2007 Update:  Darwinsomeness,  hobbesacrity, swiftapalooza, populism.  Thomas Robert Malthus was a 19th Century English economist and the second of eight children who, upon noting the prevalence of progeny in impoverished homes, cast his suspicion on Fibonacci, an Italian mathematician and likely rogue.  In order to prevent a catastrophe of violence and malnourishment, Hobbes encouraged policymaking with an eye toward the barren deaths of poor and working people, reasoning that reducing the population of the poor would, ipso facto, reduce poverty generally as well as the number of criminals at a ratio of one to one, a reasonable conclusion that Marx would later reach regarding economists.  Malthus proposed infanticide, murder and prophylaxis be counted among virtues for which he is numbered among saints.   The controversy over Saint Malthus revolves principally around the matter of from which of the great religions he plagiarized his principle of selective salvation.

*The editor suspects his predecessor of having made this word up, perhaps to trap and cage populists.

Hear ye, hear ye! For those among you around long enough to know why this matters, the TV show "Extra" is supposed to have a segment on Schwartz Candies tonight.  Anybody know what channel or time that's on?


Anonymous said...

malthusiasm - Great excitement over misfortune and the living of bad times. See G.W. Bush

Anonymous said...

Oh economics and Malthus proposed infanticide, murder and prophylaxis be counted among virtues for which he is numbered among saint

Something about that :) I'm sleep deprived, and living in construction dhaos

Was going to put in a definition very much like OP's--the word just calls for it

Anonymous said...

Extra follows the NBC national news in LA. That is 7 pm on channel 4

TLP said...

Wowsa! Who cares about the word of the day? I'm hoping to see Semisweet! Will Stan be on the show?

Minka said...

malthusiasm, n. a passion for Maltesers

(a European chocolate similar to the American Whoppers!)

that's all I've got...really!

*shakes head in disbelief,gets distracted by something shiny and runs*

TLP said...

*Yawn* Just read a buncha junk on MALTHUSIASM I got from Google. I give up. How many points does this count for? Can I do extra credit or sumtin to make up for this one? I've exhausted my resources and myself.

Jamie Dawn said...

I set my DVR to record EXtra tonight. It shows here at 6:30.

Here's a link that provides a chart, state by state, of what time and channel Extra is on for anyone who might be interested:

EXTRA show times

I like your definition, but honestly, I didn't understand it. I don't like the sound of Hobbes's ideas or Malthus's. I do think that whole Fibonacci numbers phenom is amazing.
I am rambling here.

I'm now off the visit Schwartz Candies.

Tom & Icy said...

I may have to start eating cats

G said...

maltusiasm: excitement mustered up for a rootbeer float (remember those?).

Will I be home for Extra? I think so! Nice bit of advertisements for them. Congrats.

Doug The Una said...

Poobah, you mean you enjoy his misfortunes or he enjoys yours?

Pia, did you try earplugs?

Thanks, Pop. I'll set the DVR.

TLP, I sent Stan an email with your question and he answered with a malthusiastic "yup."

Minka, some days whoppers are enough.

TLP, ten points if your essay is written in Lenni Lenape or Tuscarora.

Thanks, Jamie Dawn, for the link. I think you would not like Malthus but might like Ricardo or Hobbes. I consider Ricardo the founder of secular conservatism.

Icy, it's never too late to start.

G, I not only remember them, I treat myself now and again. Malteds I think might be a thing of the past.

Unknown said...


grptnz: Maori grunt

tsduff said...

cluck cluck.

I'll ty to watch it through my malthusiastic drug haze.

Anonymous said...

MALTHUSIASM, n. A Modst Proposal.

Schwarz means black. Still desire those candies? ;)

I have a modest proposal of my own. Go see Quilly and send her some chicken soup.

Anonymous said...

Mallthusiasm: a misplaced sense of abundant joy, triggered by the knowledge that every shopping desire can be found under one roof.

FYI: one of my best friends worked as a Senior Producer on Extra for several years -- but he eventually quit because he found it, and i quote, "overly populated with stupid and/or insidious people and/or stories that had no relationship to me and/or my ability to find the Man of My Dreams", unquote.

PS: knowing Extra's now doing sweeter minded stories definitely enhances my own regard for the show... ; )

Ariel the Thief said...

I haven't heard that word before, so I googled for definition, and what came up? Waking Ambrose.

Jim said...

MALTHUSIASM: I think we have come to that now! Abortions are ok, but poor Dr. Kevorkian went to prison!

The OE said...

Surveillance reports suggest increased activity of -asms and -isms over the last few weeks

TLP said...

Kǎ'tě’nu'ā'kā', akryasud Akawěñtc'ākā' Kautanohakau Kauwetseka gusud akene.

You never said it had to made sense. That's Tuscarora.

Doug The Una said...

Karma, Ohloleli!

Terry, you'll feel good. Antibiotics and painkillers treat the symptoms and disease. Marshmallows heal the soul.

Amoeba, I love that essay but have trouble seeing it as satire. Are you suggesting you want me to bring Irish baby broth to your lady?

Feel better, Quilly. If a teacher can't commit infanticide it's up to the parents.

Hahaha, Neva. You friend sounds like a person of great self-merit. I'm looking at tonight's feature as food porn.

Ariel, I found one other site it's used but I think that guy made it up too.

Jim, we're at least halfway there, aren't we? It's funny we think justice is absolute. It almost supports Malthus' case.

Absolutely, Actonbell. I just hope Stan doesn't add "AS SEEN ON TV" to his website. Too late.

OE, I'm not responsible for any asms or isms over that period.

Well, TLP, you get 900 points.

Lila said...

Bro, I lost my will to live about halfway through Ambrose's definition.

Wow, Schwartz Candies' ship has come in!

mireille said...

mmmmmm, marshmallows. And that Stan is so cute. heh. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Doug, Swift's little (actually not so little; and y'all think this amoeba's wordy) essay bugged me a bit along those lines too.

Until I read the Wikipedia article on it and realized that "It is no longer true, as it was in Swift's time, that any educated reader would be familiar with the satires of Horace and Juvenal, and so recognize that Swift's essay follows the rules and structure of Latin satires."

On the other hand, the Romans knew nothing of George Carlin. Some folk have all the luck. :P

Anonymous said...

"Malthusiasm is based on a number of arguments which may or may not be true."

I stopped there.

I'm malthusiastic when posting on blogger blogs, except for the dog blog of course.

It's too late for me to catch the chocolate thing unless they repeat it at three in the morning.

Doug The Una said...

Sis, the life-sapping lengthy definition is mine, I'm afraid. Yeah, Stan is gonna be dating Paris Hilton any day now, I think.

Mireille, Stan's marshmallows are also sold as "Purina Cougar Chow."

When in Rome, Amoeba. I still think you're wordy, but after reading Swift I blame genetics.

Cooper, what you missed was 30 seconds of Stan saying "We have 10 flavors of marshmallows and his father's hands making non-pareils.

mireille said...

If I hear the term cougar one more time, outside of a descriptive of a certain "wild terrestrial mammal in the Western Hemisphere" (and there better be no plays on mammal, either), someone is going to pay. xoxo

Doug The Una said...

Mireille, you're a complicated woman to flatter. I'll keep trying.