Tuesday, January 29, 2008


RANCH, n. An undressed farm.

2008 Update:  A business dependent on access to federal land and local tax protest.  A bullish long-term investment in the private property of martyrdom.


Anonymous said...

ooooh -- look who's up early...

LOVE the update. ; )

I Dive At Night said...

Ranch: A good place to hide while ignoring being president. The hangout for a corny Dip.

Minka said...

ranch,n. a place where everyone knows that if you find yourself in a hole, it is best to stop digging. That, and to drink up-stream from the herd.

Anonymous said...

Boring alternative to blue cheese.

Anonymous said...

Good flavouring for chips and popcorn though I prefer salt & vinegar.

Anonymous said...

RANCH n. a place where oil is farmed and cattle are kept as pets.

Anonymous said...

"Hey dude! Look! A place just for us!"

"Where? foobar/dev/null? Maybe for you. I ain't goin'."

"You're freaky geeky, dude. I don't know what you're talking about, and they don't either. I mean there!"

"'Dude ranch.'" Worse and worse."

"Worse and worse why?"

"Dude, I go out west, I want a home where the buffalo roam. Not where I have to look at clones of you from sea to shining sea. Do we really have to have a place where the rancher raises dudes for market?"



"You're wierd."

"Same as you, dude."

Anonymous said...

...and the view is amazing.

Doug The Una said...

Thanks, Neva. You know where I'm coming from today.

Morgan, good ideas come and go. But brush grows back constantly.

Minka, these people sound profound.

Weirsdo, I'm not sure I believe that's really you. No reference to Karl May or the social theory of Shane? Blue cheese not bleu? What have you done with Weirsdo?

Jenn, I can see the attraction to salt and vinegar.

Nessa, see Morgan's comment. It's also a place where kings go to pretend their common.

Yes, Quilly, in Texas and Oklahoma I think that's right.

Amoeba, are the Dudes siamese twins?

Mo'a the view is what you pay for and the cows pay you back.

Anonymous said...

Joined at the butt, Dawg. Which means they share a brain. One that might be able to spell weird on the second or third try. :-/

tsduff said...

"Yippeeaye kiayay get along little dawgies it's your misfortune and none of my own..." overherd in passing the ranch.

Jamie Dawn said...

There are a variety of RANCH dressings out there.
Some are really tasty, and some are not so good.
Finding a truly good RANCH dressing is like striking gold. When found, I usually sop up all the extra from my plate with my dinner roll.

I can relate to the "martyrdom" part of your definition.

Anonymous said...

Agree with Neva--and the second sentence made me laugh out loud

Actually my father who died in 91 told me that if I became really rich--buy a horse ranch in Texas. Apparently it's one of the best deductions

TLP said...

In the south, a ranch is a tool like the pipe ranch, or Stillson ranch. You use'em to tern tangs with.

When I moved north I learned that ranch is really a house style.

But when it comes to owning dirt, I think "ranch" sounds better than "farm." I don't want to buy the farm.

mireille said...

Off-color, i.e., a ranchy movie. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Never heard of Karl May. Thanks for the enlightenment.
Spelling it "bleu" doesn't make it Roquefort.

Indeterminacy said...

Doug, Mrs Weirsdo is from Alabama, not Alemania! Who can blame her for never having heard of Karl May.

Doug The Una said...

Amoeba, that's the standard spelling of weird?

Nyuk, nyuk, Terry, overherd. I always thought it was "your good fortune." Guess I lied to my dogies.

JD, it usually comes down to the relative presence of garlic and buttermilk, I think.

Pia, not to argue with your father but they say you can make a small fortune in ranching by starting with a large fortune.

You bet, Actonbell, and by pension check, we mean deficiency payment.

TLP, none of us want you to buy the farm. In this market, it's better to rent. In Australia, a ranch is a spanna.

Mireille, this is a family ranch!

Weirsdo, I think that's what I was missing.

Indie, I just always expect Europe from my Ohioan friends.

Unknown said...

Ranch: A whitish and generally nasty salad dressing that is actually good to dip certain deep fried artery clogging items in.