Dramatist

DRAMATIST, n. One who adapts plays from the French.

2006 Update: Every child sixteen and under or over, forsooth and lo!

Announcement: I bet you noticed the new button in my sidebar that looks like this: . You know you want one too. I'm here to tell you about an opportunity you simply can't afford to pass by. Goa'uld, daughter of Dddragon, is writing, producing, directing and cinematographing a flash animation called The Revenge of The Geek. She is auditioning voice actors and the reward, beyond the chance to do something meaningful while you yet draw breath, ah the reward- this button. Click on it and follow the instructions to get your own. Thank you for your cooperation. By the way, anyone who beats me out for the Darth Vader gig gets a light saber where the sun normally wouldn't shine. Just sayin'

Fairy

FAIRY, n. A creature, variously fashioned and endowed, that formerly inhabited the meadows and forests. It was nocturnal in its habits, and somewhat addicted to dancing and the theft of children. The fairies are now believed by naturalist to be extinct, though a clergyman of the Church of England saw three near Colchester as lately as 1855, while passing through a park after dining with the lord of the manor. The sight greatly staggered him, and he was so affected that his account of it was incoherent. In the year 1807 a troop of fairies visited a wood near Aix and carried off the daughter of a peasant, who had been seen to enter it with a bundle of clothing. The son of a wealthy bourgeois disappeared about the same time, but afterward returned. He had seen the abduction been in pursuit of the fairies. Justinian Gaux, a writer of the fourteenth century, avers that so great is the fairies' power of transformation that he saw one change itself into two opposing armies and fight a battle with great slaughter, and that the next day, after it had resumed its original shape and gone away, there were seven hundred bodies of the slain which the villagers had to bury. He does not say if any of the wounded recovered. In the time of Henry III, of England, a law was made which prescribed the death penalty for "Kyllynge, wowndynge, or mamynge" a fairy, and it was universally respected.

2006 Update: A swing voter.

Everyone, Minka's leaving for awhile so let's wish her a good trip after she get's the first comment Schöne und sichere reise, Eiskönigin!

Special Guest Species

This week, I'm itching to announce my Felis Domesticus "friend," Chatham aka Mahtahc Tom Cat Pez

Chatham was asked to define Catnip.

CATNIP, n. The most beloved of all things green by felines, Great and Small. Used in all forms: consumed fresh off the plant, dried and sprinkled into food, distilled into liquor, rolled and smoked. Most cats cannot wait for catnip to be harvested, tearing apart a plant in a drunken frenzy. Therefore "Beans" (as humans are called by the cat community) are necessary for its distribution.

Most cats are embarressed by their catnip-induced behavior, and only partake of it in the company of other cats. As with drunk Beans, there are "happy" catnipped cats and "mean" catnipped" cats. Any Bean who lets one of the latter have some catnip deserves all the scratches he or she receives.

About Chatham: Chatham is the fifth Pez to grace this site as a Wednesday guest. Chatham, august elder of the first family of the internet (in cat years or lives,) writes the epodious Chat Cat Chats. Chatham fills his site with deep emotional expression for which cats are well-known and greatly appreciated. Frequent features of his site include short anecdotes accompanying photographs which demonstrate Chatham's talent for the visual arts. An influential connoisseur of fine things, Chatham's lap reviews have placed Tan Lucy Pez and Dddragon in the Zagat Cat Couch Survey, each with four-star ratings while Aunt Actonbell received no stars and no encouragement.

Although Chatham primarily writes a blog for the cat who has everything (or, cat) he is not entirely aloof. Long time readers wept at his tales of catheterization and applauded his triumphs over illness, hunger and insomnia. Chatham lives with his mother, Dddragon, father Nod, twin sisters Goa'uld and Bookworm and his brother, Salem.

About the Pezes: The first family of the blogosphere and certainly of this site, the Pezes have a long and proud tradition here at Waking Ambrose and have been a rich source of Wednesday guests with a notable exception or two. Since many current readers weren't around during the early guest posts, here are some links to previous Pez Guest appearances.

From last August, Aral Peppermint Patty Pez (AP3)
Also from last August, Dddragon
From September of last year, Goa'uld, Dddragon's daughter.
From October, Little Bar of Soap who was later revealed to be the product of AP3's shaky mental health.
And, finally, from January, Tan Lucy Pez, Dddragon and AP3's mother, Chatham and Goa'uld's grandmother.

Bookworm, Salem and Actonbell are also bloggers but flintier.

And happy birthday to the world's oldest living Pascover! Best to you, Dad! Who says dinosaurs no longer roam the Earth?
How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

Just one more note, there is no-one for next week and rather than being whiney again, if there are no volunteers I may just skip the guest post until there are. It's an extra definition for me to write, but you guys are worth it.

Abduction

ABDUCTION, n. In law, a crime; in morals, a punishment.

2006 Update: A form of theft more egregious than mugging and less painful to the victim than fraud. An in vivo trademark violation.

Quotation

QUOTATION, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. The words erroneously repeated.

Intent on making his quotation truer,
He sought the page infallible of Brewer,
Then made a solemn vow that he would be
Condemned eternally. Ah, me, ah, me!
Stumpo Gaker

2006 Update: The elevation of another fool's wisdom to greater depth. According to Ambrose Bierce, "The act of errogenously repeating the words of another or the words so echoed."

The Old Gringo

Story #50, In which Ambrose Bierce reaches his destination.

To hear the story, talk to the skull.



To read the story, blow out the candle.


Happy 164th birthday to Ambrose Bierce.

To celebrate, here are two new Bierce-related links:

Did you all know Bierce wrote fables? I didn't until Indie mentioned it sometime back. Here's a Collection.
and, The Devil's Dictionary Defiled, by S.R. Brubaker. Brubaker's site is a well-designed and funny page including definitions by Bierce and Brubaker.


This week in The Prattler, Unheard Of, the challenge to the Voting Rights Act.

Aversion

AVERSION, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.

2006 Update: The child of desire and conquest, failure's half-brother and father to conquest and desire.

Intractable

INTRACTABLE, adj. Stubbornly unwilling to adopt a course from which nothing can divert ourselves.

2006 Update: Attractive.

Answer key to yesterday: TLP found three of the quotes, Minka one, Puppytoes one. Village Idiot was able to name two of his and two of mine which leaves him a total of zero jester's bells. The others were "Like worms on an apple getting ready to jump off," which is a line from the film Brother John with Sidney Poitier and "The use of unnecessary violence in apprehending the Blues Brothers has been approved."

And a wedgie goes to O Ceallaigh who incorrectly corrected me. Unless I'm incorrectly correcting him. PhD in Biology, indeed! You're a Governor, aren't you, O Ceallaigh?

Special Alternative Idiot

This week, I'm delighted to offer The Village Idiot as my guest. The idiot was asked to define the word Beanie.

BEANIE, n. a small skullcap; formerly worn by schoolboys and college freshmen

BEANIE, n. A small sickeningly cute sidekick of a friendly sea monster named Cecil.
(Below)
BEANIE, n. A badge of honour among geeks the world over, the bigger the propeller, the mightier the geek...yes, size does matter.

syn propeller-head


I have spun my propeller against some formidible opponents in the past, I've been wounded by rapidly spinning blades (twas only a flesh wound) , and had to fend off many challengers who thought they had a bigger prop than mine.

In the end, Old Age and Treachery wins out over Youth and Enthusiasm every time.
Doug, while you may be in the early onset stages of curmudgeonism, this old and treacherous idiot has a large...if somewhat battle scarred... propeller and knows how to use it.

About The Village Idiot: It's not every fool who would challenge the author of this site for curmudgeon King. But a policeman's job is only easy in a police state. Well, there's no sense dwelling on our losses- use of unnecessary sarcasm in mocking the idiot has been approved.

The Idiot writes The Idiot's Paradise, as if any blog weren't, and cothieved So, We Hijacked a Blog with our own Logophile and Snavylyn, The Barefoot Mistress, Lime and Breazy. The idiot's site is a collection of anecdotes, top five music lists, quotes from movies, movie quotes, famous lines from film history and excerpts from scripts. Memorable phrases from cinema turn up in occasional quizes. Let's face it, The Village Idiot's memory is big. It's the pictures that got small. Somehow, V.I. (as he's known to friends who weary of restating the obvious) finds time to tell good stories well and write one of the most entertaining blogs around. A special post, in which we can hear V.I. tell a story in his spoken voice is here.


V.I. also deserves credit as one of the blogosphere's most prolific commenteers. On the sites of his friends, among whom I'm proud to count myself until further notice, he challenges with his encyclopedic memory for the aforementioned quotes as well as a broad knowledge of science and just enough understanding of statistics to be goofy. Like worms on an apple getting ready to jump off, V.I.s comments are a threat to every fruit on the blogging tree. He and I used to compete with Kyahgirl for the propeller beanie of ultimate nerddom until the award was retired by O Ceallaigh until every parabola closes for making a Ribonucleic Acid base pun. Thanks to Village Idiot for doing a great job as guest today and every day. Sometimes six or seven times. He may be a modern griffin with propellor-head, the personality of a slide-rule and a bicycle body, he may be a geek, a dork, a twerp and a wallflower with a weed's discretion, but the man plays well with others. Now, have fun storming the castle.

And friends, there are six film paraphrases contained in the bio and I found a couple in V.I.'s portion. Have fun with that.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

You don't have to be an idiot to work here, but it helps.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAR MIREILLE ZOCKSO!!

Appetite

APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.

2006 Update: A hunger as towards weight-loss, wealth or whelp.

(Wrong freaky spaniard)