Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Special Guest Species

This week, I'm itching to announce my Felis Domesticus "friend," Chatham aka Mahtahc Tom Cat Pez

Chatham was asked to define Catnip.

CATNIP, n. The most beloved of all things green by felines, Great and Small. Used in all forms: consumed fresh off the plant, dried and sprinkled into food, distilled into liquor, rolled and smoked. Most cats cannot wait for catnip to be harvested, tearing apart a plant in a drunken frenzy. Therefore "Beans" (as humans are called by the cat community) are necessary for its distribution.

Most cats are embarressed by their catnip-induced behavior, and only partake of it in the company of other cats. As with drunk Beans, there are "happy" catnipped cats and "mean" catnipped" cats. Any Bean who lets one of the latter have some catnip deserves all the scratches he or she receives.

About Chatham: Chatham is the fifth Pez to grace this site as a Wednesday guest. Chatham, august elder of the first family of the internet (in cat years or lives,) writes the epodious Chat Cat Chats. Chatham fills his site with deep emotional expression for which cats are well-known and greatly appreciated. Frequent features of his site include short anecdotes accompanying photographs which demonstrate Chatham's talent for the visual arts. An influential connoisseur of fine things, Chatham's lap reviews have placed Tan Lucy Pez and Dddragon in the Zagat Cat Couch Survey, each with four-star ratings while Aunt Actonbell received no stars and no encouragement.

Although Chatham primarily writes a blog for the cat who has everything (or, cat) he is not entirely aloof. Long time readers wept at his tales of catheterization and applauded his triumphs over illness, hunger and insomnia. Chatham lives with his mother, Dddragon, father Nod, twin sisters Goa'uld and Bookworm and his brother, Salem.

About the Pezes: The first family of the blogosphere and certainly of this site, the Pezes have a long and proud tradition here at Waking Ambrose and have been a rich source of Wednesday guests with a notable exception or two. Since many current readers weren't around during the early guest posts, here are some links to previous Pez Guest appearances.

From last August, Aral Peppermint Patty Pez (AP3)
Also from last August, Dddragon
From September of last year, Goa'uld, Dddragon's daughter.
From October, Little Bar of Soap who was later revealed to be the product of AP3's shaky mental health.
And, finally, from January, Tan Lucy Pez, Dddragon and AP3's mother, Chatham and Goa'uld's grandmother.

Bookworm, Salem and Actonbell are also bloggers but flintier.

And happy birthday to the world's oldest living Pascover! Best to you, Dad! Who says dinosaurs no longer roam the Earth?

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

Just one more note, there is no-one for next week and rather than being whiney again, if there are no volunteers I may just skip the guest post until there are. It's an extra definition for me to write, but you guys are worth it.


Chatham said...

It's an honor to be the latest Pez Guest Blogger. And a very Happy Birthday to your Dad!

Brother Salem is sniffing around now . . . I better see what he's up to.

Sar said...

LOL, nicely done Chatham. Ah ha, now I get it! You must have been under the influence when you posed for that fancy freakish smiling icon that I always see over at Icy's. ;)

Great write up and nod (as in tribute, not 3D's hubby) to our Pez Pals today, Doug.

And Happy Birthday Pappa Pascover! Looking deep in thought there or is it deep in sleep? Deep in meditation, that must be it. No, better yet, burger induced coma!

Anonymous said...

too early to try to be clever (as opposed to later in the day when i try and/or fail miserably)

lovely post Chatham!! we are new friends... and fast ones, or so i hope! (since an aged/onerous cat resides in this house, as well)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your DAD, Doug! based on the infrequent comments i've seen (for the short time i've been around) the fruit did not fall far from the family tree! and we are all better for it! xo

kwtttv: watchin' TV, kitty?

Sar said...

And ahhhh, it really is Wednesday today - you have a guest! See people, this is why you must sign up to be Doug's guest, or I'll perpetually be confused with no proper gage to tell when it's Wednesday!

(Doug, the invoice is virtually in the mail.)

Anonymous said...

Catnip made my cat weird. Like paranoid weird. She'd tiptoe around like my floor was made of lava. Then again she was weird period, talking to the oscillating fan, telling it who was the boss. Sadly cat & I weren't compatible but she found a family who was perfect for her weirdness and I suppose she's still weird.

Oooh Happy birthday to the Dad!

Indeterminacy said...

Very brave for a cat to show up here at Dawg's. Compliment! I need some kind of organizer to keep track of all the Pezes.

Tom & Icy said...

That's my best cat buddy!

Logophile said...

Best to keep the beans in order, well done, Chatham.
Poor auntie Actonbell, no stars AND no guest spot, so sad.

Logophile said...


Anonymous said...

Thanks Jung'n. Clever to use my shining bean to amplify Chatam's post.

For any of you worried about getting older, you should know I have enjoyed ny 39th birthday each of the dozens of times I have celebrated it

Doug The Una said...

Chatham, well done today and thanks.

Tucker, welcome.

Thanks, Sar. On everyone's behalf.

Thanks, Puppybrose, but we prefer "apple."

Tell you what, Sar, you virtually send that invoice and I'll practically pay it.

Jenna, I'm sure the cat's weirdness was genetic.

Indie, it does take some practice. Fetching new avatar.

Hey, Icy. Good girl!

Cowgirl, that means he's plotted your death.

Ariella, long time no see. The little beans are the tricky part, aren't they?

Thanks, Logo.

Happy 39th birthday, Pops. On my next birthday will I be my own grandpa?

Ariel the Thief said...

yay a birthday! we went way too long without eating and drinking too much! Very Happy Birthday to the oldest living Pascover! or until an older living Pascover comes alone to be celebrated.

hi, Indie's new avatar!

hi, Chatting Cat, I'm at work on short leash, I'm gonna read later. :)

sowadk: soda with my vodka

Anonymous said...

duog: apples... oranges... why limit the bounty of goodness that is *you*?

am i the only one who didn't realize catnip was in the mint family? no wonder my cat's breath is so fresh.

Mistress Anna said...

Catnip: Fountain of youth for Cats.
Happy Birthday to your dad:)

Kyahgirl said...

Chatham! Nice to see you here and I enjoyed learning about the ins and outs of catnip and the correct terminology for referring to humans.

You must be proud to be part of the prolifice Pez posse.

Chatham rides a wicked skateboard too, for those of you who think cats just sit around and poke holes in your lap.

Happy, Happy birthday to Papa Pascover, nice bit of time trickery you've got going there.

And Doug, your guilt trip at the end was masterful. :-)

The amoeba said...

Oho! So you're the one who's been mashing my catnip patch, Chat Cat! And busting my profits. You're supposed to wait until I bag it and sell it, kit. ;)

I'd introduce you to the geriatric cats over to my place, but they'd probably forget all about you after a minute or two. And they're past the age of catnip, I'm afraid. All they do when they get a whiff is go over to the couch and lie in the sun, eyes half chilled out closed, and, every hour or so, mutter "Dude" to no one and nothing in particular. And next week when I move on, I'll be just another dead bean. Tempus fugit - the piece that was inexplicably left out of J. S. Bach's The Art of Fugue. Maybe because somebody fumigated it.

Anonymous said...

Nice job Chatham!!

Based on witnessed reactions I fear that "catnip" may be the crack or pcp of the feline world. I envision gangsta cats frequenting dark alleys or back fences looking to deal - "psst, psst...hey furball...come over here...I got something for ya. First one's free tabby."

The amoeba said...

Tempus fugit. They didn't fumigate it. They bebopped it. I shoulda known ...

Doug The Una said...

Ariel, there's cake in the kitchen near the balloons. My old man likes vodka, too. I'll go to the store for soda.

Puppytoes: That's chestnut to you, Missy.

Mistress, thanks and I like your definition. You are only as old as you make sense.

Thanks, Kyah. I do my best.

O Ceallaigh, I like that track!

Cheese it, Joel! It's the pigs!

Minka said...

Chatham, that was very well done and sinc eyou let us into the secrets of beans, rest assured that in my language you are referred to as furballs! So we have one of te oldest cats and one of the oldest Pascovers with us today :)

Herzlichen Glueckwunsch zum Geburtstag, oldest living Pacover. Has anybody researched this fact?
So how long have you been 39 for. Don´t worry, even if you´d tell me, I am not good with numbers :)
Happy Birthday!

TLP said...

Catnip, n., What Chatham has done to me, and put me on antibiotics. Also see, ouch!

'Course I was shoving a pill down his throat at the time, so there's that.

Great job grandcat! Thanks for the kind words toward the Pez family Doug.

Happy birthday to Dad! And many more.

Anonymous said...

How do you know about my family tree, Doug? Shhhh.

Doug The Una said...

Vielen dank, mädchen. Der vatter versteht wieviel Deutsch als der sohn. Wartest du. Sein antwort kann komisch sein. You might remember the story about our last name. Dad was the third human to have it and the first born with it. I'm pretty sure. This is his 27th 39th birthday.

Thanks, TLP. Shoving pills really does hurt you more than the victim.

Haha, Jenna. Call it an educated guess.

mireille said...

Happy Birthday, Pascover Paterfamilias! (I wonder if that's another word I just made up. Hope not. Anyway, my good wishes are real.)

And Chatham looks like Frank Sinatra! He Does It His Way ... or Strangers In The Night? He'll be the judge.


G said...

Congrats to Chatam - your quite the cat em. Hey, I followed Brian, I tried.

Happy Birthday Mr. P, some wodka is being delivered (may be there by now). May you live to be 120 - hey it was a good enough wish for Moses, and actually by your reckoning will be forever.

Oh and Puppytoes, I don't think it was the bounty that bothered Doug, but perhaps the characterization as a "fruit" - all together, not that's there's anything wrong with it!

Anonymous said...

so, ya think i should stop referring to my sons as the "fruit of my womb", as well?

Kyahgirl said...

Doug, I'm glad you linked all the Pez gues posts on this one. It was great to go back and read them and to see how blog relationships have evolved over the last year or so.

I noticed that on AP3 guest post you mentioned that you also had a committment from Actonbell? Actonbell?? where are you???

and made me laugh. I remember saying "Hail Mary's" as a kid and never quite grasping that 'fruit of thy womb' part. I always envisioned her giving birth to nice bunches of grapes, then immediately had guilt for having such naughty thoughts :-)

ok, ok, Doug, I'm leaving...lets go discuss praying in the park.

dddragon said...

"Fruit of thy womb" always gets a giggle from me. This shouldn't be funny, but when Nod's dad died, a priest said the Hail Marys 40 TIMES at the viewing, and very dramatically. I can tell you, after 20 or more times, TLP and I had to hold in the laughter.

Catnip: a mint that leaves Salem drooling. Literally.

The Village Idiot said...

I am shocked and appalled at my lack of things herbaceous.

All this time I thought catnip was a playful bite from a feline when in actuality, it is a drug!!!

Ariel the Thief said...

isn't that the same?

Jamie Dawn said...

Are you SURE you can handle coming up with that extra definition? I realize how valuable your brain power is. We could take up a collection to pay you.

Happy birthday to your daddy!!!

Chatham is sure a smart cat, and funny too!

The Village Idiot said...

Now, we will try again. See, this picture of me, is what happens when you indulge in too much catnip

Remember, Just Say No

Sar said...

Hey look at that! Indie & VI is today new avatar day? I didn't get the memo. Though, it really wouldn't have mattered, as I'm rebellious and I'd continue to march to my own beat in my beloved stilettos. Just sayin.

Happy 27th anniversary of your 39th birthiversary Pappa Pascover! It needed to be said.

(3D I can so see you & TLP snickering at the Priest!)

Coffee: Liquid catnip. Yep, this would be my afternoon hit kicking in.

Ariel the Thief said...

Chatham, you know way too much of katnip for a such a young being. I wonder if the Cat Couch knows! thanks for sharing, anyway. :-P

Anonymous said...

Thank you all for your good wishes, and Minka danka, tochter.

Doug, you always were your own grandpa

Doug The Una said...

Mireille, I think it was a real word until Rome fell. Thanks.

Tucker, I wondered where Brian learned to write poetry. He sounds just like you.

G, you got it. Dad just might make it that far if he avoids commandments and stays away from Canaan. Two pretty safe bets.

Puppybrose, it depends on if you're trying to raise hairdressers. (Sorry g, it just happened.)

Kyahgirl, it was a clerical error. When I started the guest feature I got a lot of offers (back before I had to get whiney) and it seemed like all the Pezes. At some later point I noticed Actonbell wasn't among them. I wouldn't want anyone to feel pressured to do this, but it is kind of good sport to tease Actonbell.

Good definition, Dddragon. Chatham really should have talked to you before writing his own. That's a funny story, funeral and all.

Idiot, it's a gateway word.

Good point, Ariel. As far as I'm concerned, yes.

Jamie Dawn, maybe you can send some brains my way.

VI, I remember that one. I would never call you goofy.

Sar, you're cut off.

Ariel, and you should see him on gameboy.

Haha, Dad. True.

Actonbell, from what I can tell we're all flinty compared to Dddragon.

G said...

As she laughs - oh Doug, quien es mas macho?!

Anonymous said...

Catnip: kitty crack

My friend's cat had to detox for days. It was sad. A cat with the shakes & twitches. Very sad. The dog was never the same after the "episode" as we on the Drive carefully referred to it. Poor Dukey Dog. He always did flinch when the container was opened after that.

I like your dad, Doug. I do, I do, I do.

Anonymous said...

Catnip: sacrament for cats right up there with eating and sleeping, but indulged in less frequently.

Birthday blessings on the elder Pascover.

Jamie Dawn said...

You could have repeat special guests. If you start from your first special guest, it will be like new for many of us.
Plus, in addition, also, highlighting people a second time is a good thing. Everyone enjoys being in the spotlight now and then.
OR, you could just have Wed. be Special Guest day (when there's a new special guest) or Wild Card Day (where you get to post anything that tickles your fancy.)
Think of the possibilities! Doug's Wild Card Day of Blogging Freedom. Move over, Ambrose!!

I hope your dad is being properly spoiled today.
Old people get cranky if you don't give them enough attention. :)

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday to Doug's daddy

Really think that you should write an extra definition because we are worth it

Alana said...

I like Jamie Dawn's idea. There are some guests from earlier on that I never got to meet officially on their special guest Sar for example.

Nice job Chatham and happy birthday daddy of Doug! How does that all work when Doug becomes 39 too?

And Doug, that was quite an impressive Pez family history and lineage you wrote for us! Quite helpful too!

Anonymous said...

I'm willing to go again, and I think many of the characters on "The Pansi Files" would enjoy displaying themselves, I mean their talents.

Ariel the Thief said...

have you ever been your own special guest, Doug? I'm curious to know more about your grandpa'.

Minka said...


Doug The Una said...

Eeek, bad Doug!

G, ¿quien? ¿Cuanto tiempo tienes? No-one that's who!

Jenna, my dad is pretty good for an old fella. He likes daughter's named Jenna too.

Thank you, Venus. Please help Weirsdo stay out of the way of pirates.

Jamie Dawn, I will do that starting sometime in July. For suggesting it, though, you may get moved up. That'll teach you.

Sincere thanks, Pia for dad and a sarcastic thanks, Pia from me.

Squaregirl, think of it as the Adams Chronicles of blogging.

Ariel, I am the only blogger who doesn't meet the standards for Wednesday guests.

Es tut mir leid, Minka. Ich habe spät geschlafen.

G said...

Doug - all the time in the world...don't you remember the Saturday Night Live skit?

Lila said...

SHAKY MENTAL HEALTH? Hey, I resemble that remark.

And so do I.

Good job, Chatham!

Anonymous said...

Doug's dad has no faults, only good traits. His unbirthday will have lots of surprises. He is 39 again, and again, and again. Steve you are young at heart, an active hiker, and full of love for your family.

Doug The Una said...

G, I don't think so. I haven't watched that show since John Belushi was on it.

AP3, you and Manchego should double date.

Thank you Anonymous and true. A decaying memory is a good trait in a father.