Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Special Alternative Idiot

This week, I'm delighted to offer The Village Idiot as my guest. The idiot was asked to define the word Beanie.

BEANIE, n. a small skullcap; formerly worn by schoolboys and college freshmen

BEANIE, n. A small sickeningly cute sidekick of a friendly sea monster named Cecil.
BEANIE, n. A badge of honour among geeks the world over, the bigger the propeller, the mightier the geek...yes, size does matter.

syn propeller-head

I have spun my propeller against some formidible opponents in the past, I've been wounded by rapidly spinning blades (twas only a flesh wound) , and had to fend off many challengers who thought they had a bigger prop than mine.

In the end, Old Age and Treachery wins out over Youth and Enthusiasm every time.
Doug, while you may be in the early onset stages of curmudgeonism, this old and treacherous idiot has a large...if somewhat battle scarred... propeller and knows how to use it.

About The Village Idiot: It's not every fool who would challenge the author of this site for curmudgeon King. But a policeman's job is only easy in a police state. Well, there's no sense dwelling on our losses- use of unnecessary sarcasm in mocking the idiot has been approved.

The Idiot writes The Idiot's Paradise, as if any blog weren't, and cothieved So, We Hijacked a Blog with our own Logophile and Snavylyn, The Barefoot Mistress, Lime and Breazy. The idiot's site is a collection of anecdotes, top five music lists, quotes from movies, movie quotes, famous lines from film history and excerpts from scripts. Memorable phrases from cinema turn up in occasional quizes. Let's face it, The Village Idiot's memory is big. It's the pictures that got small. Somehow, V.I. (as he's known to friends who weary of restating the obvious) finds time to tell good stories well and write one of the most entertaining blogs around. A special post, in which we can hear V.I. tell a story in his spoken voice is here.

V.I. also deserves credit as one of the blogosphere's most prolific commenteers. On the sites of his friends, among whom I'm proud to count myself until further notice, he challenges with his encyclopedic memory for the aforementioned quotes as well as a broad knowledge of science and just enough understanding of statistics to be goofy. Like worms on an apple getting ready to jump off, V.I.s comments are a threat to every fruit on the blogging tree. He and I used to compete with Kyahgirl for the propeller beanie of ultimate nerddom until the award was retired by O Ceallaigh until every parabola closes for making a Ribonucleic Acid base pun. Thanks to Village Idiot for doing a great job as guest today and every day. Sometimes six or seven times. He may be a modern griffin with propellor-head, the personality of a slide-rule and a bicycle body, he may be a geek, a dork, a twerp and a wallflower with a weed's discretion, but the man plays well with others. Now, have fun storming the castle.

And friends, there are six film paraphrases contained in the bio and I found a couple in V.I.'s portion. Have fun with that.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

You don't have to be an idiot to work here, but it helps.



Jake said...


Minka said...

About time!
That this special guest is displayed, I meant! *grins*

Mistress Anna said...

Jake beat me. Sigh. This a tough word today, but good.

Minka said...

Boy, this post has been up for two minutes! And four desperadoes have already commented. What is up with that?! :)

Lovely post today. I adore the Village Idiot. His guest appearance just shows why. "twas only a flesh wound" made me laugh out loud and spill a bit of coffee.
This was a particular good write up though, I felt. It is fun to see both of you to compete for the bigger propeller, you foolish guys! :)

Jake said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jake said...

Beanie n. the wellspring of a strange species of stuffed creatures filled with plastic pellets, or "beans," usually brightly colored and mostly in the shape of animals. The origin of this species is unknown, but the date of the first human victim of its consequential nonlethal, yet psyhchiatrically debilitating "beanie baby fever" took place circa the 1996 Christmas season. The Hallmark sign/symptom of the infection was an insatiable appetite to bid on Ebay, another pandemic of the same time period.

Minka said...

Beanie: a small bean derived from two females, of which one was de-tassled?
*grins even more*

Anonymous said...

Jake is awfully clever today. Does he get the beanie today?

I had a beanie doll long before beanie babies were cool. They weren't even a glimmer in Ty toys' eyes. I fear if she were to be opened she really would be full of beans because plastic pellets weren't around then. She's fuschia pink and is still alive and kicking somewhere in my parents' basement. She was awesome. Especially as a weapon on little brothers.

Anonymous said...

6 frankfurters, sliced
2 teaspoons dried onion flakes
1/4 teaspoon oregano
1 tablespoon margarine
1 (28 ounce) can New England baked beans
1 medium tomato, cut into wedges

Sauté wieners, onion and oregano in margarine until browned. Add beans and simmer 10 minutes. Add tomato wedges and heat gently.

TLP said...

Beanie: A little head. (Remember no snarking.)

Nice job Idiot! Very good write-up Doug. (I spotted some paraphrases, but not all of them. Drat.)

Sar said...

Ah, I see your guest is Belle's conspicuously absent reigning caption contest winner.

VI, nice job on the guest spot, but I have just one question for you. Why is that toy on your head?

Doug that's possibly the longest guest intro WA has seen. Very well done and deserved.

Unknown said...

the idiot is adorable. oh, in case everyone's forgotten, Heinz means beans

Doug The Una said...

¡Felicitationes, Jake!

13 minutes late, Minka. 13 minutes. You better hope your trivia is up by 5PM California time.

Thanks, Mistress Anna, if it's a consolation I received Jake's and Minka's comments at the same time as yours.

Like there's a difference, Brian.

Minka, I thank you on my own behalf and that of the missing idiot. You don't think he got elected or something, do you?

Nice, Jake. And the best ever use of the word "Hallmark" so far as I know.

Hahaha, Minka. Beans aren't detasseled, but you're coming along as an agronomist.

Imagine, Jenna! A beantoy with beans in it! When did they invent that?

Me either, Cowgirl.

Joel, that's a great recipe. Just as long as Oregano counts as a spice and not a vegetable.

Which ones did you get, TLP?

Thanks, Sar. I've been saving V.I.s comments for Christmas tinsel. It seems only fair.

Is that an old ad, Karma? It sounds familiar.

Anonymous said...

i LOVE this post! VI, we've seen more of you in the past two weeks than... well...uh... than in the 2 weeks before the *past* two weeks. oh, and from Monty Python to The Princess Bride, i find your movie references hytherical! (you too, Doug... it *is* fun storming the castle!)

we used to say "meanie meanie, pork and beanie" when we were kids. we used to watch Beanie and Cecil when we were kids. we used to eat bean(ie)s and (beef) franks when we were kids. Beanie reminds me of my youth.

not that anyone asked, but i love Propellerheads. those with great minds, as *well* as the ones who make music -- especially when it features Miss Shirley Bassey singing "History Repeating".

The Village Idiot said...

Doug -- I love, LOVE the Intro. I am still laughing

Minka - I will be your display..of idiocy any time

Joel - I will kindly thank you to keep your sauce off my beanie

Sar --- That toy is on my head, because if I wear it anywhere else it chafes

Karma - Does that mean I have a Heinzie on my head?

Puppytoes - shhh, we are showing our age

Brian -- No More Rhyming, I really mean it!!!!

TLP ---- I refuse to take the bait...however, you can call me pinhead because it sounds better than littlehead.

Doug --- I hope you have a big tree

Ariel the Thief said...

funny that none of the definitions of yours is anything what dictionary says to be beanie. I'm glad to be educated in the propeller thing, too, I would hate to seem all dumb when guys talk about who's having bigger propeller... :)

good writing on both sides, dear VI, please tell me why your name is Village Idiot. this is a very strange name because you never feel like a stranger with it, not even when someone sees a post of your for the first time in their life. or that is my feeling.

Ariel the Thief said...

oh we used to have little bean-sacks in school, we did things to them at gym. they were fun.

The Village Idiot said...

This History Of The Village Idiot


It is a long story, much like an Icelandic Saga. It actually started several years ago. There were some triva based chatrooms I frequented. There was one particular chatter that was incredibly dense. I never really figured out if it was a ruse or real. One day, on a whim. I decided to become the_village_idiot_of_triv, in honor of this particular person. The name became shortened to Village Idiot. Now, for all the lazy typists out there, it is jut VI.

Besides, every village needs an idiot.

Kyahgirl said...

What a nice surprise to come here today and see who the very special guest is. Nice job on the beanie definitions VI.
(I can hardly believe beanie is retired though :-(
*sigh* Oh well, a nerd like me can always use more pocket protectors. Especially the much coveted WA variety.

Doug, I got such a laugh out of your introduction. I can tell when you really like someone by the number of names you call them. Its clear you hold the idiot in high esteem. :-)

Doug The Una said...

Puppytoes, I was wondering where you were on the whole propellor-head matter. Nice to have an endorsement. We said "Meanie Meanie Pork and Beanie" too. This is why I don't like children.

Welcome back, VI!

Ariel, I'm curious what your dictionary has. His first definition is pretty close to what I'd have expected. Good question.

VI, most villages have them.

I think we were all waiting for this one, Kyahgirl. By the way, we should retire the golden slide-rule to you for getting O Ceallaigh's joke. That was impressive if a little sad.

Unknown said...

no, idiot, you have a propeller on your head :))

dawg, that was the signoff line for Heinz ads many years ago. i know a lot about American advertising :P

Mistress Anna said...

And now for a word from the Man in Black (the consumate realist):

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something!"

The Village Idiot said...

Thank you Kyah, I still feel that my beanie, pales in comparison to your golden slide rule. You are my inspiriation.

Doug, I am more of an itinerant village idiot. I contract my beanie out to any village that will have me.

I accept PayPal, money orders, cash, and Thai Food.

Doug The Una said...

By the way, other than Puppytoes, I notice no-one has identified any of the movie quotes. Come on, now.

Karma, that's right. I knew that about you. Heinz is beans must be from the 70s.

Ariel, I think you mean the fool on the hill.

Mistress Anna, I'm a big fan of Johnny Cash. Or was that Regis Philbin?

The Village Idiot said...

Oh Mistress Anna -- Aaaaas Youuuuuu Wiiiiiiisssssshhhh

Kyahgirl said...

Sure I'll take the slide-rule. :-)

Ariel, I know I've told you this before but I just love your little zingers!

G said...

I hated pork and beanies as a child which was only a sign that I would shun it - the other white meat to some, the forbidden to many, but hey, we were talking beanies.

Nice intro and I have enjoyed seeing VI's beanie around.

mireille said...

beanies and kilts! beanies and kilts! Nice propellers, guys! xoxo

Mistress Anna said...

Doug: Carey Elwes(sp)and fellow scorpio.

Doug The Una said...

She's clever, isn't she, Kyah?

Yup, g. Anyone who doesn't like pork and beans may as well convert.

Hahaha, Mireille. Thanks and I hope you don't mind if I don't bow.

Aha, Mistress. I guess I'd better rewatch The Princess Bride if I want to keep up with you guys. My whole repertory, other than what's in the bio is "Anyone want a peanut?," "incontheivable" and "My name ees Iñigo Montoya. You keeled my fadder. Prepare to die."

Doug The Una said...

Oh, and I should announce, in honor of the Idiot, today is a comments free-for-all. Let me have it, y'all.

The Village Idiot said...

1) twas only a flesh wound (MP and the Holy Grail)

2) a policeman's job is only easy in a police state...old movie called A touch of Evil--that was a head scratcher or in my case, beanie scratcher

3) I am still big, it's the pictures that got small, and I am ready for my closeup Mr DeMille Sunset Blvd.

4) Old age and treachery always overcomes youth and enthusiasm(skill) -- Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson lyrics/song

Being the kind idiot I am I will leave the others for you all to find

Oh yes, don't forget to come on over to my place and give my 5 spy songs..

TLP said...

Touch of Evil, "a policeman's job is only easy in a police state," is one that I saw.

"It's the pictures that got small," is from Sunset Blvd.

Anonymous said...

seems like a cutie although I am not real familiar with beanies or anything having to do with them.

I thought "beanie: was what those sickening parents - (you know the kind that teach their kids to call their penis a wee wee) - taught their kids to call green beans.

dddragon said...

My first pet, a black spaniel, was named Cecil after Beanie's friend. And I've a poster from a videostore w/ Beanie & Cecil, too.

And we've got a large tub full of Beanie Babies.

The Village Idiot said...

Brian --- Arrrrrggghhh...but i think its Basso. Have you seen his team roster? I do like Hincapie and who knows, maybe with Lance out of the picture Discovery will put him to the front. Althought, he is more a spring classics kind of guy.

Doug -- I now that you like me, you turned off the no comments sign

The amoeba said...

Deoxyribonucleic acid. U get it? I mean, really.

Look, I'm kneedeep in grant proposals, and I just had my bicycle stolen (news at 11). Cut me some slack, OK?

But seriously folks, nice work Doug and VI. Even if you do remind me that I'm way behind the curve in movie-going (to say nothing of movie trivia). Despite that, my propeller's bigger than yours. Or at least shinier. I had it bronzed ...

[dodges hook, puts thumbs to ears fingers extended, sticks out tongue]

Kyahgirl said...

O'C! *rolls eyes* RNA, DNA, don't get your genes in a knot!

Oh, I get it, you want the slide rule now. Well, forget it.

The amoeba said...

Keep your slide rule, Kyah. I learned how to use one, but it always seemed to me like this snarky white slippery thing that lubricated itself in slavering anticipation of an opportunity to trip you up. When calculators became accessible for less than an oil baron's ransom, I so lost the slide rule.

Taking you at your word, Doug ...

Minka said...

Hey, I mentioned "twas only a flesh wound"! I shoudl have said I recognized it as a movie quote, since I saw "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" only yesterday evening...I am afraid to announce, I fell asleep over it though :( I was really tired!

Anonymous said...

for fans of Moose and Squirrel, i offer a classic "commercial bump":

"Eenie, meanie, chili beanie... the spirits area about to speak!" "Are they friendly spirits?" "Friendly? Just look!" ~commerical break~

what? am i *that* old?

Anonymous said...

okay, so not *everyone* here is a rocket scientist. besides, i never said i wanted that stupid slide-rule. tho' god knows i knew how to use one. in my youth. when i used to love watching all things Rocky & Bullwinkle (especially "Fractured Fairytales")

Kyahgirl said...

yes dear ♥

Kyahgirl said...

btw, Kyah likes to share, so any old-timers who wish to borrow the slide rule may do so.
puppytoes, I'm old enough but the only reason I have very few memories of Rocky and Bullwinkle is that we only got CBC but sometimes in the right weather we could get Spokane station and see American cartoons. Yay.

Anonymous said...

by the way..."wallflower with a weed's discretion" is nagging at me. what's that line from? and, for that matter... "no sense dwelling on our losses"?

were these lines plucked fresh from that brain of yours, oh wordsmith Doug?

Anonymous said...

hiya kyah (again!) didn't see you there!

i'm glad you had the chance to enjoy a little Rocky & Bullwinkle growing up... funny funny show! and, incredibly clever! (that's right, kids, not ALL TV was/is bad!)

dddragon said...

Ceallaigh, my dad used a slide rule when he worked at White Sands with real rocket scientists.

And Puppytoes, I am *also* that old.

Logophile said...

Wow, look at the mutual admiration society!

Here, a couple quote for two of my favorite blog dudes.

Idiot, truly, a dizzying intellect.

Doug, Society is no comfort to one not sociable.

Chatham said...

Can I have that beanie when you're done with it? I like the little mouse on the top.

Anonymous said...

third time's the charm, kyahgirl! and don't you go! (if i promise to go visit our dear mireille, will you come back here, to the snark, and/or my site? (just sayin'...) xoxo

Anonymous said...

dddragon: thank you for that! ^_^

Kyahgirl said...

*hands back the golden slide rule*

I'm sorry to make a mess of your comments Village Idiot! That was me on a deleting spree. I had to look at the source code to see how I screwed up the links then I had to try ONE more time to do it right....

please drop by a chic friend of many at WA. It is her birthday today.!

I don't deserve the slide rule. Give it to the Amoeba.

Kyahgirl said...

Now I see Doug has come through and resolved it for me. Thanks Doug. I am SO done here.

Anonymous said...

yeah...and i only look a "little" stupid (what with that "3rd time's the charm..." comment 'n all...)

TLP said...

"there's no sense dwelling on our losses-" from Psycho?

Does everyone else know the movie references besides me? Am I no longer in Kansas?

The Village Idiot said...

no worries Kyah, we still love you

and as far as rocket scientists go, I worked at this little place in Pasadena

It was Called ..hmm what was it..oh yes

The Jet Propulsion Laboratory..but I guess I was more of a sattelite scientist than an actual rocket scientist...

Anonymous said...

well no *wonder* you look so good in that beanie, VI!

The amoeba said...

Y'don't say, VI? Does "remote sensing" spin your hard drive?

Anonymous said...

TLP: i'm thinking it's from something Mel Brook-ish(?)

Ariel the Thief said...

Khyagirl, thank you!

TLP, I'll know them as soon as someone translates them for me, my pretty. :-P or not.

uywcexd: Ulysses' WC ate his ex

Ariel the Thief said...

Happy Birthday to Mireillie Zokszó!

mireille said...

awwww, thanks Doug. zockso to YOU! xoxo

G said...

All this talk of slide rules, I went and voted for Brian by mistake at Sar's. Oh, well - Snuppytoes as my witness, I did mention the Florida issue of the election with Brian being from. Never thought it would be me to throw it against myself. The only beanie I'll be getting is from that Mouse Club.

Unknown said...

ariel, your verifier is hysterical!

Doug, don't know how you guys remember lines from films. good memory is one of my bad qualities. but then, 'I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way' ;))

Happy Birthday dear Mireille! Zock on!

Anonymous said...

if it makes a difference, G, i know at least *one* person who threw you a vote bone...despite the fact that a *certain* someone (and by "certain someone", i mean *you*) did not vote for her (and by "her", i mean *me*)...

that said, regarding the whole slide-rule/beanie cap/big brain thing? i agree with you! talk about intimidating company! you know, for a nano-second there, i was actually considering sending our host an email in order to participate in these here verbal festivities... but now that i know there are so many reallyreally smart people? not so sure i can and/or want to. sigh

Alana said...

Nice job VI! And now that you've enlightened me on the fact that size of propellers matters (I had no idea), can you please explain to me what they are for? I've always wondered...for reals.

And happy birthday Mirielle!

G said...

Oh yes, Happy Birthday Mirielle - I have long admired your avatar.
Puppytoes: I've reviewed the tape - I voted for Joel for the Marathon and you for the "out of the marriage" caption. So there - 1 and 1. Friends? Now let's go grab a triple latte and let them worry about DNA! Largely overrated anyway! Pffft. We could even watch TV.

Yo Dawg, where you at? One of my nephews has banned the use of urban slang coming from we slightly mid-aged family members family e-mails. I assert that I am urban - living in NYC, Queens that is, swimming pools movie stars.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

You gotta love a post with Beanie & Cecil AND Andre the Giant!

Andre used to fly with the regional airline I used to work for. He was so big we always had to redistribute other passengers to counterbalance him, give him two seats, and a set of seat belt extenders.

He was a BIG BOY.

Doug The Una said...

Whoops, sorry guys. You were always on my mind.

Village Idiot, you rewon your name by guessing the movie quote and album title from the part you wrote. Sheesh. I'm giving Monika that one. 2 and 3 are correct sir. Two bells.

Yes, TLP. You get VI's two bells due to his guessing his own quotes. There has to be a penalty for that and he lives to far to whup.

Alice, you rarely give away your elite upbringing but this is probably one of those times.

Dddragon, you should probably get an official Waking Ambrose pocket protector for that.

Brian, I'm not sure what that earns you, but it will be a pleasure delivering it.

Beg your pardon, Mr. PhD in Biology, but Uracil is not a base of DNA. Spin your propeller, friend. OR see a movie.

Kyahgirl, I'm not sure whether or not you caught his slip, but if not, you're on notice too.

Minka, you did and I knew you knew the movie so you get one bell for your cap.

Brian, that's always a mistake with this crowd.

Puppytoes, I'm old enough for Rocky and Bullwinkle and Hong Kong Fooey!

Kyahgirl, you mean CBC didn't broadcast the Moose Cartoon? And they're usually so sensitive about the first nations.

Puppytoes, that isn't a movie quote but thanksish for thinking it might be.

Dddragon, that's why he's Brainy Smurf Pez, huh?

Logo, I had to Google that but I'll never forget it. That bard!

Absolutely, Chatham. And Walela brought home a squirrel today.

Kyahgirl, once the prize is rewarded it's never returned. Did you think this was the Miss America contest?

TLP, you're doing great. Third bell.

V.I. I so want to speak to you in Hindi right now.

Puppytoes, you win a special bell for trying really hard.

Wow, Ariel! You just channeled Karma and translated Mireille into Hungarian. You get two bells even if you weren't playing the same game.

G! All we have is our system of government!

Karma/Jessica, that's one of my favorite movies and you used it so well! A bell to you, Madame!

Please do, Puppytoes. Don't make me beg. I like to use my floppy ears for good, not evil.

Squaregirl, how could you not have known that or do square girls patronize like cool ones?

G, I'm back.

Poobah, I can only imagine, but that's pretty neat. Did you get to meet the great man?

G said...

Good I can turn out the light...

Ariel the Thief said...

*steps on a dead squirrel in the dark and falls*

Minka said...

Yeah...I have a bell! *looks worried*
Say, how many smart remarks for a whole propeller?

And also, it 7.22 am where I am, so I am officially first!!!!!

Ariel the Thief said...

so not only men have propeller?

TLP said...

It's 5:32 Am in PA. Here I am tryin' to see if you are still alive. So, are you? WTF happened yesterday Mr. You-were-always-on-my-mind? Have you started WORKING at work?

Miz BoheMia said...

"Hello! My name is Enrique Montoya. You killed my father. Now prepare to die!" How's that for a quote. I do admit to the delivery being spectacular. I do it with a proper Spanish accent and all even though I myself do not speak English with a Spanish accent! YEAH BABY YEAH! FUNKIFIED!

Hey! Puppytoes! Doug said dork!!! Did you not know dear brother, as Puppytoes and her veryveryvery smart sister Dr. Terri Hamilton would have us know, a dork is a whale penis, which tends to measure 10 ft long. Is VI still a dork?


VI! Great job amigo mio! Beanie... hmmm.... being #80 I doubt there is much more I can add. Humph... see what happens when one arrives late to the party... one is forgotten... FORGOTTEN I SAY!!!

Doug The Una said...

Good morning, G.

Ariel, next time try the front door.

Napping, TLP.

¡"DIOS MIO," pro cierto, Hermana! Te llamas Iñigo Montoya. ¿Quien es Enrique? ¿El papa muerte? ¿O el primo flojo? ¿Quien?

Ariel, you just earned your own Waking Ambrose pocket protector. That's a fun series I've been reading since it came out and I have the last book but I'm holding off reading it.

Miz BoheMia said...

Ay DIOS MIO INDEED! Pense que me llamaba Enrique! Ay!

That's what I get for tryin'! Humph!

Kyahgirl said...

U is in RNA instead of T, you're right, but wow, I guess the original base discussion do include A,C,G, and T so it had to be DNA. I think that's what O'C was correcting on. Hard to say, I can hardly hear over the sound of whirling propellers!

But whatever, what really disturbs me is your shocking assertion that this is NOT the Miss America contest! I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere :-)