Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Special Guest E.D. Therapy

This week, I'm pleased to have Jenna Howard, the little blue pill as guest.

Jenna was asked to define the only possible word she might have been, Trollop.

TROLLOP, n. a woman perceived as sexually disreputable or promiscuous.

Disreputable? Moi?!? Hm. Perceived which makes me a tease! Gasp! Not me! Never me! I was told to keep this PG-13. I'm struggling. I haven't been PG-13 in a loooong time. I'm more of a Rated R (that's R for raunchy!) kinda girl. Will try.

A young writer (very cute at that) says to her mom: "So, you do know what I write, right?"

Mom to young (and adorable) writer: "Of course. Your mom's been around for awhile."

Young (and sassy) writer shudders at that thought while wonders if Mom understands exactly what "erotic romance" means and what it means that her very precious daughter is writing the stuff. Erotic Romance: hotsa motsa stories with lots and lots of sex and romance…emphasis on romance. A happily ever after is a must (without a happy ending full of love and romance this becomes porn and gasp! I'm way to adorable to write porn) plus the hotsa motsa, wild monkey sex scenes (read: sexually disreputable). Sweet.

Young (and very savagely grr) writer: "Oooh-kay. Don't say I didn't warn ya."

Weeks later. Phone rings. Mom: "Um. Yes. Your story - I started to read it. It's very, um, well…"

Young (and naughty) writer: "Sexy?"

Mom: "Hm. Yes. It's also very um, hm…"

Daughter: "Explicit?"

Mom: "Hm. Yes. Is the rest of the story like this?"

Daughter: "Oh…totally."

Mom: "Hm. Yes. Well…hm. And your other stories? Are they like this?"

Daughter: "Oh absolutely. Without a doubt."

Mom: "Um. Hm. Yes."

Daughter: "Bye, Mom!"

Mother's favorite child is, by all accounts, a trollop. Her writing is sexually disreputable. Waa-hoo!! She can no longer brag about daughter's writing to all her friends and family. Daughter is now…a trollop, so declared by Doug. Hurrah! A trollop! Whooo! Yeah baby! (punches fist in the air) I'm a trollop!! Mamas, lock up your sons.

Also see Rated R; Little Blue Pill; Tease; Hussy; Chief Naughty Sexpot

About Jenna Howard: Jenna is the author of Afterthoughts and a contributor to Indulge. She is the eloquent unveiler of nuanced erotic literature, her signature style being a victorian sensibility and sanitary prose with which she contrasts the profundity of adult relationships built from intellectual, emotional and spiritual engagement with the superficiality of strict social morés. Nah, just messin' with ya. It's sex with werewolves. A brazen hussy, painted harlot and gal-about-town, I hope to never meet a women with laxer morals unless I have change for a five-dollar bill (Canadian.)

Ms. Howard brings flagrant fun with her to all the blogs she visits. Among the many reasons to admire Jenna, her enthusiasm to portray herself in bad light brightens the space. She's funny, flirty and always willing to drop a big hint or lyse a single-celled organism. As the one-and-only Little Blue Pill, Jenna played a big role in challenging this site to take itself less seriously. I pity the Calgary clergy.

Another side of Jenna deserves recognition, as well. A loving daughter, Jenna lost her father earlier this year. Between the adult fictions, she writes with equal eloquence and candor about the enduring pain of a girl losing the biggest man in her life. Those posts and that side of Jenna merit a somberer appreciation and a more faithful affection which those of us who have come to know her online are only too happy to offer. Thanks to Jenna for a great guest post and for being a daily part of the online adventure.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.


Miz BoheMia said...


Wahoooooooo indeed!

From being Catty Yummy Mummy's (my alter ego) partner in crime, the infamous Chief Naughty Sexpot, one formidable Ladee in short short and sex-ay boots; to being a soulful Pisces, a devoted daughter, amazing sister, fantabulous aunt (boy has her sister-in-law scored!), and to me, one sweet, insightful, strong, naughty, sassy and simply delightful and very cherished friend, Jenna is a must read fo sho!

Loved your write-up about one amazing woman brotha man!

And Jenna, trollop? TROLLOP? Mon Dieu! Oh-so-spankalicious-bind-me-and-just-whip-me-hard quality of a great definition!


You know what I mean!!!

And ABOUT TIME you made it as a guest!!!!

Hey, can y'all tell I AM EXCITED!



Miz BoheMia said...



Kyahgirl said...

yay Jenna! our own little Waking Ambrose little blue pill!

Jenna, I've been enjoying getting to know you and your writing through your blog and your playful presence here.

I hope you enjoy your day here as much as you yesterday, you naughty girl. You are truly a luminary who possibly should be under lock and key! :-)

Kyahgirl said...

Doug, nice write up by the way. You're the only person I know who could call a girl a trollop and still sound kind and respectful. Genius.

Anonymous said...

First time commenting and let me just say I am very nervous...have not considered myself worthy to date and I'm not sure that's changed. That said...congrats to Jenna on the guest spot and while I certainly wouldn't presume to call her a "trollop," I would point out that a "trollop" by another name is a "strumpet," as in...the "strumpet with a trumpet," also known as Roxanne Pulitzer.

Whew...I did it...I commented on Doug's site...beads of sweat...shortness of breath...hoping not to have embarrassed me or my wife, a site regular.

Anonymous said...

Yummy Mummy!! Yay you are first! Spankalicious fo sho

Kyah - I know! I'm thinking of sending the bio off too my editors because, frankly, mine sucks. like visiting the naughty Calgary side...admit it.

Oooh...I brought out a lurker? Swoon!

Okay, I'm officially late for work. Ack.

Doug The Una said...

MIz B, if I didn't know you better, I'd say you were excited. Jenna's big fun, and not only in a trollop kind of way. Thank you for the introduction.

Thanks, Kyah and you are right both about Jenna being fun to know and needing to be chained.

Joel, you and the Mrs. are funny about that. No-one here but regular folks and above-average dogs. Welcome. Welcome.

Jenna, I'm late for work too. Well done, Lady.

Anonymous said...

Okay...I gotta know. What's the E.D. stand for? Extra Dirty? Extra Darling? Extraordinarily Dirty?

Lady? You get enough sleep last night? I'm a lady? Oh swoon.

Anonymous said...

**blogger is not being very cooperative today... i've tried to leave this post 1/2 a dozen times. aieee!!**

hey! yay for my honey for finally leaving a comment! (interesting post to do so on, babe...) : P

out of curiosity, i checked through my thesaurus (because i have to do that sometimes...) and here's what "trollop" turned up:

B-girl, bag, bawd, bimbo, blower, broad, call girl, camp follower, cat, chicken, chippie, concubine, courtesan, fallen woman, floozy, harlot, hooker, hostess, hustler, loose woman, midnight cowboy, model, moll, nymphomaniac, painted woman, party girl, pickup, pink pants, pro, scarlet woman, tart, tomato, working girl...

here are a few more i thought of for Jenna:

audacious. daring. funny. interesting. provocative. sassy. saucy. x-rated(ish).

Jenna, i'm gonna have to send you a copy of my sister's book... unless Miz B wants to lend you her copy! (the title is skin flutes & velvet gloves, which, i'm guessing might be right up your alley!)

well done with the guest posting, saucy Jenna! and, Doug, while i'm at it... you did a fabulous job responding to your legion of (growing by the second) fans!

oh, and Jenna? i'm thinking E.D. stands for: explicitly delicious... ; D

Anonymous said...'s not extra dorky. But explicitly delicious...yum!

Yes, he didn't a great job yesterday. By the way...vanilla vodka is yummy (rubs tummy) makes a girl all tingly and such. First it doesn't taste like booze and then it's got a nice burn when it hits but oooh those tingles.

Oooh midnight cowboy? Hm...sounds interesting. Hey - Doug is the one who saddled me with trollop. I'm just a girl trying to make an honest living...writing delicious smut.

Sar said...

H-o-l-y M-o-l-y

It's official. My intellectual playground has been bulldozed over and replaced with a sexually charged romper room. Where do I turn in my beanie cap?

In honor of Jenna, the imaginative and influential little blue pill...

Everyone get a room! ;)

Anonymous said...

Yes, Sar, no one can degenerate a place faster than me. It's a gift.

The naughty part of me wants to say "Would you like cuffs to replace your beanie?" But this here is a family site so I won't.

The amoeba said...

TROLLOP, n. You want me to do what??!??

You think you have trouble with yo' mama. What about mine, she catches me reading this stuff?!? (Naturally, last time I was home, I "accidentally" tripped over a six-foot stack of trade-paperback bodice rippers. You got contracts yet, kid?)

Doug: LBP as Jane Austen. howwwwwooooollll!

Hail Jenna! Those about to lyse, salute you!

I'd ask for a date, but see TROLLOP, supra.

And now back to your regularly-scheduled discourses on the metaphysics of PC, Sar. :)

G said...

Excuse me, was up a little late last night:) Jenna I loove trollops as friends, they always made me look all the more innocent. And you are good fun my trollopy friend. What those steamy words cannot mask is the really sweet girl that you are.

What the duces - Jenna as Jane Austen, I can see that.

Hey Doug, welcome back, coffee maker working okay for you this morning?

Great guesting Jenna. Actually I had wondered what your mama might say...

Doug The Una said...

You can figure it out, Little Blue Pill.

Puppytoes, you must have an old thesaurus. Mine has "Jenna Howard" as a synonym. And thank you.

Jenna, I did my best. Alcohol should make you surly not yummy. That's how I was raised.

It's sad, isn't it, Sar? This used to be the kind of place a gal in hot-pink stiletto heels could come to enjoy a life of the mind.

Jenna, I think today we're PG-14.

Haha, O Ceallaigh. Stay after Sar, she can take it.

Brian, tell the wench hello for me.

G, the coffee-maker is working just not fast enough. Thanks for a great performance as guest MC yesterday.

Fred said...

I feel like a cigarette. And, I don't even smoke.

Minka said...

Jenna? About time, I have to say.
As usual she is bringing down the house with her style.
I have known her writing for quite sime time now..I have also taken many a cold shower as a consequence. Donæt worry...the water is really cheap here :)
Good job, Jenna. Don´t know if I´d call you a trollop, but I know you are one funky lady!

Rio said...

i was once called a wanna-be hoe which i am not (this phrase also makes no sense to me at all) but trollop? yes trollop i could live with.

Anonymous said...

E.D. (taps chin) erotically delightful? Oops did I just bump the rating up to M? No...alcohol should make you tingly. Love the tingles.

Paaaaige! Shoot. This means I have to write a naughty story for tomorrow. (sighs heavily: well if I must I must). Girlfriend, you're the naughtiest trollop I know. Well aside from Kate.

G's naughty too. Don't believe anything she says. In Jennaland...she's naughty.

I love Minka. I do. She rocks my world.

Fred...passes the lighter.

Whoo another trollop! Yes, we shall take over today and tart this blog up. Yay! Who's with me?

Hello? I said...who's with me?

Ariel the Thief said...

I am here to catch you in case you swoon again. :-P

Anonymous said...

Thanks Ariel.

Gasp! That E.D. better not stand for Emotionally Disturbed, Douglas.

Doug The Una said...

Welcome, Paige. *pop*

Fred, have a virtual one.

Minka, I bet the cold is cheap, too.

Rio, I think you can share that word with Jenna. Wanna-be hoe doesn't fit you.

Come on, Jenna, work with me. What is the Little Blue Pill and what does it cure? Or are you playing with me? You're playing with me, aren't you?

Ariel, kind of you.

Kyahgirl said...

Blogger has really interfered with the party Jenna! That is too bad.

On the other hand, the meaning of E.D. popped into my head during a meeting this afternoon. I couldn't wait to come back and see if you figured it out....come on, its not as hard as the nucleotide one.

All rise for the Little Blue Pill

heh heh

Minerva said...

I LOVE the word trollop..Just like the word wench, full of delicious sensuality and ripening flesh....



Doug The Una said...

Haha, Actonbell. Nasty tease it turned out. Or do you prefer trollop?

Kyah, I didn't actually mean to be obscure.

Minerva, I knew with the right bait I'd get you over here. Jenna has that affect.

Kyahgirl said...

I know you didn't, that's the accepted abbreviation. Its just not something I think much about and I'm pretty sure our resident trollop isn't faced with it too often either :-)

Anonymous said...

I had this beeeeautiful comment and *poof* gone. Stupid blogger (I used a few other choice words. Nice, juicy curse words)

G said...

In Jennaland, everybody's naughty even when they're nice you little vixen! Sorry that your guest spot brought down the blasted servers! But I think the party at Doug's yesterday may have brought the whole thing crashing down around us.

Alana said...

Hmmm...I thought I commented, but it turns out the comment is missing...This guest seems to like to cause mischeif!

Hey there Jenna, I ventured by your place despite my confirmed suspicion that it was a tad non-square should I say, and I couldn't say hello there either. I'm guessing you enjoy causing trouble!

I'll try again...cause suqares aren't easily deterred.

The Village Idiot said...

trollop -- just a little more than a dollop

Anonymous said...

Phew. that one worked. Okay. So now I have to remember EVERYTHING I wrote. Sigh. I am the little blue pill not the little ginseng pill. Let's see.

I would never play with you Uncle Doug (twirling hair around finger) toy...yes. Play? Oh never. I know what E.D. stands for: Extremely Delicious. Yeesh.

Actonbell: Oy. That's all I have to say about that. Oy. Oh and EEEEK!! ::shudder::

Oooh another trollop! Come on over to the naughty side Minerva. We have the bestest kind of fun.

Kyah: Doug? Obscure? What? Impossible. Didn't you hear? E.D. is for Everything Decadent - which is me, of course.

Anonymous said...

Come through the decadent golden gates to Jennaland, Square. We'll get those sharp corners off of you in no time. Would you like a cabana boy? Here (waves a hand to an exotic looking building) They don't come out a lot but when they do - hubba hubba. Or would you prefer a massage? I hire on the hottest, sexiest, naughtiest masseuses around. Come in, come, Square. Have you met our resident wise ass? Don't let the amoeba like form fool you.

Now...what can I get you for your reading enjoyment?

Minka said...

Blogger is working again...I am not at work and ready to catch up on my reading and then blogger decides to be off sick! No consideration at all!
And Jenna, right back at ye!
Douglas, the cold is for free now that you mention it! Want some freezing out to go with it? *grins*

Anonymous said...

hooray!!! i've been trying to leave a comment ALL DAY!! of course, now that i'm finally able to do so, i realize i have nothing to say.

TROLLOP: the blogging server that stays "down" all day and prevents a lively exchange of ideas and/or quips. see also, bitch

and doug: your first clue that my thesaurus is old were the words chippie, floozy and tart!

Anonymous said...

woo hoo, it works finally.

I've always thought the word trollops sounded like a clam of some kind.

Then again I am not prone to liking Dickens.

Nice definintion.

Kyahgirl said...

I like VI's idea, a dollop of trollop. Goes nicely with just about everything, eh Jenna?

Anonymous said...

i couldn't agree with you and VI more, kyahgirl. the first thing that popped into my mind when i saw the word this morning cream! (with chocolate, and a "trollop" of whipped cream). perhaps the words are interchangeable, after all! (if not... they certainly should be!) ; P

Kyahgirl said...

I like the way you think puppytoes :-)

Omnipotent Poobah said...

trollop - A galloping dollop.

Anonymous said...

Trollops go with anything, Kyah. Absolutely. We're interchangeable that way. The best accessory.

Mistress Anna said...

Your my favorite trollop.

Anonymous said...

Awww...thanks bud!

Anonymous said...

Holy moly I'm tired. All this trolloping. And on Hump Day too! How apropros.

Why yes that is a complex word. Thanks for noticing! Thanks for making this day not so scary all though blogger needed a good kick to the, um, ones and zeroes.

E.D. Eliminating Decorum? Jane Austen...pfffft.

Sponge Girl said...

Ah yes, that glorious moment in every mother-daughter relationship when you both suddenly realise that the other isn't a virgin, either.


One day you will look back at that moment, laugh nervously and then never mention it again.

(p.s. adoring you, jenna)

Doug The Una said...

Kyahgirl, I'm sure it's something none of us know a thing about.

Jenna, the big loser here is literature.

G, it serves you right. I still can't get the feathers back in my pillows.

Squaregirl, maybe when she finishes her werewolf stories she could write you some nerdotica.

V.I., how big is a whallop?

Actually, Minka, I'd love some. It's HOT around here.

Puppytoes, I use all those words. Great definition. Agreed.

Alice, you're tempting me.

Poobah, ride on!

Hahaha, Jenna. Anything?

Mistress Anna, she's a good trollop, isn't she?

Sponge Girl, A. Spo! Good to see you again. How's the captive?

tsduff said...

You all have way too much fun over here :-) Excellent post Jenna - you did the word well.

Hobbes said...

I aspeshialy apresheated this cuz I to have had my public service as a Troll-OPE ("Troll--operashon Ejucate") voluntere misunder stood!!!!!!!! Even after I got my troll to stop using his loyn cloth as a napkin!!!!

Anonymous said...
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