Epidemic

EPIDEMIC, n. A disease having a sociable turn and few prejudices.

2006 Update: The glory of the virus, bacterium and epidemiologist.

Special Guest Pirate

Aaaaaaargh! Piratical ejaculation of indeterminate spelling denoting everything from frustration to grim satisfaction. One-Eyed Sam supplies examples for our edification:

1. (Frustration): Aaaargh! Another voyage with Brown Beard!

2. (Reflection): Aaaargh . . . what I'd do to that lubberly son of a sea cook if I was cap'n!

3. (Fright): Aaaaargh! 'Tis the ghostly crew of The Venus what I sank last Tuesday, beckoning to me across the water!

4. (Excitement): This map says there be treasure under the dead oak on Skeleton Point. Aaaargh!

5. (Grim satisfaction): Brown Beard's fallen over a cliff you say? Aaargh, it was a long time coming.

About our guest lexicographer: One-Eyed Sam is a denizen of Stuffed Animal Planet, where he was born to a poor wood cutter and his wife in the wilds of Ork. At the age of five, Sam ran away to sea, where he demonstrated an early aptitude for looting and pillaging that helped him rise rapidly through the pirate ranks. During the ascendancy of the Captists (a cat-worshipping religious sect), One-Eyed Sam's crew fought against the UnCaptist insurgency, but were vanquished at Dogoba, Ork's capital city, by the Dead Pirates, the Red-Caped Crusader, and the ineptitude of Brown Beard. Since then they have gone into business for themselves and cruise the seas between Bathtubbia and Ork, occasionally going up river to attack large cities. Recently, they have been campaigning for planetary peace because they believe it will give them better opportunities for robbery and murder. They are also starring as themselves in Toyplayer's drama, "The Pirate Election," over on "The Pansi Files."
Sam's bitterness against Brown Beard stems from the loss of his eye and his leg, both casualties of Brown Beard's clumsiness, and from resentment on behalf of his mates, who have almost all suffered similar maiming at Brown Beard's hands.

Mrs. Weirsdo, Sam's editor and amanuensis, is to be commended for her bravery, as One-Eyed Sam is extremely touchy about how he is represented to the public, and Mrs. Weirsdo could have gotten her head sliced off for even approaching him. She wishes to express her gratitude to Sam for his forbearance during his lexicographical debut.

A note from the previous editor: Weirsdo went fourth wall writing the "About" section too and I appreciate the humor, especially in a hectic week, so I'll let it stand but for this story:

In the dark days of Waking Ambrose, there were two frequent readers, Weirsdo through her character, Pansi, and Pia. In those days it came to pass that on Weirsdo's blog, The Pansi Files a sidestory developed in which I was desperately and, for a long time, unsuccessfully trying to woo Pansi. Another blogger frequently commenting on Weirsdo's site and unaware that Pansi was, in fact, the painted and bangled barbie doll in her avatar decided to vie with me for Pansi's affections and the competition grew quite fierce. Soon, my rival, a genuine intellectual, asked Weirsdo, a certified one, to write a guest post on philosophy on his blog and for my own amusement I left a comment beneath his asking Pansi to write a guest post on mine. It was a lot of fun and the Wednesday guest post became a regular feature.

Since then, Weirsdo appeared in this story here and, much more impressively, published a novella which I enjoyed reading, in serial form, as much as any book I read last year and have enjoyed even more reading straight through. I recommend it highly.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

I will be contacting previous guests who regularly comment here to repeat in no particular order. Previous guests who haven't been much heard from since their guest post should recontact if they would like to repeat.

Admirability

ADMIRABILITY, n. My kind of nobility, as distinguished from your kind of ability.

2006 Update: Restraint in a traffic jam, quickness in a rush or madness in a riot.

The happiest of birthdays to the magnificent, magniloquent, artistic, pluralistic, heuristic, gracious, gifted, good-humored, hectic, lovely, lucky, lavish and plucky, comical, cat-loving, fearsome never fulsome Michael Jackson!

Deny

DENY, v.t. See HURL BACK THE ALLEGATION.

2006 Update: To confirm.

The Village Idiot

#59, duh.

To hear the poem, jingle the bells.











To read the rhyme, click the sign.

This week in The Prattler, "Plan F"

Hammer

HAMMER, n. An instrument for smashing the human thumb- a malleus as the Latin hath it. One of the old Frankish kings was called Charles Martel, or Charles the Hammer, because he was a beat.

2006 Update: A blunt instrument unless compared to a statistic.

I have no further message this morning but have developed a bad habit

Nominee

NOMINEE, n. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

2006 Update: A biography seeking flesh, a photo gaining breath and a promise in pursuit of oblivion.

While Shayna is saving whales, seeking a cure for breast cancer, giving voice to the disabled, preventing terrorism, remembering our soldiers, accompanying the lonesome and feeding the hungry, Goa'uld is trying to change the world. Go help Goa'uld save a tv show.

Special "Guest" Wednesday

OK, so I went on and conscripted Shayna for this weeks "guest." Actonbell, you're on notice, Missy.

Shayna defined for us the word, GUEST.

GUEST, v.i.




About Shayna: Unlike some sites where they make you work for your guest post, at Shayna's My Music Highway Project, you just fill out a little form, answer a couple easy questions, and BAM! Next thing you know, your name is in lights and people are saying all kinds of nice things about you beginning with Shayna. Plus, you get to name a favorite song, bring attention to your favorite charity, cuss at some children and you're done. ¡No hay trabajo, no hay problema! For those of you who don't speak Spanish, that means Keine Arbeit, Keine Schwerigkeit.

Shayna's main site, My Music Highway is where Shayna talks about Shayna instead of about you. It's surprisingly engaging for that. It's not an exaggeration to say that Shayna writes her life through music and the people around her. Shayna is a former professional singer with a big voice and a little Willie. She writes of her past and present, posts songs and movies and still manages to always pay attention to the people she knows locally and through blogging. I first got to know Shayna under another name when she interviewed our Alice/Cooper. Since then, Shayna has also interviewed friends Pia, Sar and mi hermana, Miz B. Some dude named Sgt. Hook too but you'll have to read the interview to find out who he is. I'm supposed to be working.

As in the blogosphere, so in flesh. Shayna's attention to others fills her own life as well. Her friendship with Eugene, an aging veteran has moved a lot of us, as have often difficult stories of her youth as does her life with her husband and son, the aforementioned Little Willie. What did you think I meant? They make a wonderful family, despite any deficiencies she might find and point out to the world at large. This is the part where I normally thank the guest for being a guest but since Shayna didn't volunteer I'll thank her instead for having the kind of generous heart I just knew I could take advantage of.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

I will be contacting previous guests who regularly comment here to repeat in no particular order. Previous guests who haven't been much heard from since their guest post should recontact if they would like to repeat.

Freshman

FRESHMAN, n. A student acquainted with grief.

2006 Update: In High School, a jaded lover and recovering alcoholic. In college, a dew-eyed innocent.

Welcome to college, Solace Cai. Best of luck and remember, books are for nerds.

Get well soon, Penguin!

Jove

JOVE, n. A mythical being whom the Greeks and Romans ridiculously supposed to be the supreme ruler of the universe- unacquainted as they were with our holy religion.

2006 Update: Chief of the Roman pantheon, lord of lightning. Wisdom was born when he cracked his own skull.

"Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down, oh, yes, Lord
Sometimes I'm almost to the ground, oh, yes, Lord" -Nobody Knows The Troubles I've Seen, traditional.

While Minka and Puppytoes are sorely disappointed in me, their own fault due to impossibly high or medium expectations, Shayna is treating me dandy at her Music Highway Project. More on this later (when it can be up all day,) but it's the work of a warm heart. Thanks, Shayna.